Unhappy with freshman housing assignment: what to do?

Colleges and Universities A-Z Princeton University
1

<p>My D got her res. college and housing assignment ... and got upset: she requested 2-3 roommates and got ... NONE! So far, we hadn't even heard about freshmen getting single rooms - it always seemed to be kind of a "privilege", reserved for upperclassmen - in all dorms of all schools, of all times. ;)</p>

<p>Now, DD is worried about 1)not having the full "college experience" of bonding and dealing ;) with roommates; 2)having harder time meeting people and making friends; 3)not having "natural restrictions" (aka more "normal-sleeping" roommates;)) for her unhealthy sleep patterns, and, therefore, being more tempted to stay up too late and sleep in.</p>

<p>She sent at once an appeal/complaint to Princeton housing commitee about her unfortunate assignment, but got no answer. What else could she do? Is it unheard of freshmen changing their res college or the assignment within the college?</p>

2

<p>There's basically nothing your daughter can do. Plenty of freshmen live in singles, so it shouldn't be a problem. I haven't heard of anyone successfully changing rooms before even arriving on campus. Think of it as a blessing--she can have boys over at all hours of the night......just kidding.</p>

3

<p>There's never a shortage of students wanting singles. She won't have trouble finding someone with roommates who would rather not have any. I wouldn't know how she could (or if she even can) make such a switch "legally" though.</p>

4

<p>HAHAHA @ Weasel.</p>

5

<p>I'd love to live in a single (provided it applies a bathroom all to myself) and I hope I do, where ever I end up going</p>

6

<p>Wow, she has a single and is complaining?....that's just very very strange. Unless she already knew who she wanted to room with, there is no reason for tears. Are the singles in suite form where 3 or more girls in singles share a bathroom or something?</p>

7

<p>Iirokotree, </p>

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<p>We have no idea. She just knows it's Butler College which is still under construction. Some of her classmates-to-be whom she befriended on Facebook complained about getting unwanted singles there, too. Could it be that college doesn't have any other kinds of rooms?</p>

<p>Neither I, nor her can imagine yet the college experience, started with single living from the day one. It might be a blessing as well as disaster. As far as I know, in her place, I would be upset, too.</p>

8

<p>When things like this happen, encourage her to research before she gets too upset. For example, I googled up Princeton University Butler College, and quickly got to a page that indicates dorms, facilities and maps (floor layouts).Butler</a> College - General Information</p>

<p>While I couldn't get past a certain point, because I have no identifying information, by now your D probably has some numbers because she's a new student. Scroll down on this page and go to dorms, facilities. Hopefully there will be a map to view. </p>

<p>I'm hopeful that looking at actual floor layouts, the single won't look so different from what others have. If, for example, there is a whole floor of singles and a common lounge at the end of a floor, that lounge might be where students will go to bond. </p>

<p>Or, if you find a suite layout with some singles and a small common gathering area for a 4 or 6 singles, that will feel like their living room and she'll make friends that way but have a bit of choice among them, which can be nice for all, and a small family feel. </p>

<p>Her sleep question is different, but maybe she could make a pact with someone who has the same concern. Most freshman issues are shared by someone else. Perhaps they could encourage each other to head for sleep at a similar time, the same way 2 friends sometimes exercise or diet together for support.</p>

<p>Sometimes the newest dorms reflect student surveys indicating what people think would be a big improvement for the next generation of students, so they might be lucky in ways they do not yet know. I'm hoping the hammers will be quiet by move-in day -- oops, a new worry. Forget that.</p>

9

<p>If she has a single in Butler then she is probably in bloomberg, which is 95% singles. That means that no one will have roommates and so everyone hangs out with their hall mates. You get to know the people in your dorm (and especially in your RCA group) about as well as your roommates. Plus Bloomberg is really nice, with AC and hardwood floors. And next year she'll get to draw into brand new buildings which are supposed to have some of the largest rooms on campus! Bloomberg has a decent amount of common space, and the singles are pretty large so there is room to hang out in the rooms. It was built as upperclass housing, but is now butler due to the demolition of old butler and the increasing class size.</p>

10

<p>Last year my D was given a single after requesting 2-3 roommates. And her single room was rather isolated - it was in the vestibule of the building, and you then had to go through another entry door to be in the main hall - where the other dorm rooms, bathrooms, lounge, etc. were located. She was pretty bummed when she first found out, but was totally happy with her room. Only real problem (annoyance?) was that there were no roommates to let her in the few times she left her key in the room and locked herself out. The safety guys will let you back in your room - for a fee :)
She had no problems making friends, feeling part of her floor, hall, building, and college. This year she's rooming with 3 friends in a quad.</p>

11

<p>Bloomberg is one of the nicest buildings on campus (it used to be upperclassman housing before the old Butler quad was torn down). Modern, well-lit, elevators, big rooms. And like ec1234, it is almost entirely made up of singles.</p>

<p>I spent both freshman and sophomore year in the old Butler quad. I would have traded my 180-sq ft double for a single in Bloomberg any day.</p>

12

<p>Sorry but I kinda LoL'd while reading this.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Now, DD is worried about 1)not having the full "college experience" of bonding and dealing with roommates; 2)having harder time meeting people and making friends; 3)not having "natural restrictions" (aka more "normal-sleeping" roommates) for her unhealthy sleep patterns, and, therefore, being more tempted to stay up too late and sleep in.

[/quote]

...Are these the honest reasons why she's really mad/sad? For the first one, um, social experience/life is plenty everywhere...it's not as if you're with your roommate 24/7. Second concern doesn't even make sense, why would you have a harder time just because of ONE roommate? About her sleeping patterns, I doubt a roommate's going to coerce her into changing her habits; many I know sleep differently like my cousins did. </p>

<p>laaater on when my time comes in college I wouldn't mind single. Just try to explain to her that it's not as bad as she thinks...</p>

13

<p>having a single as a freshman would blow...</p>

<p>humans are social creatures</p>

<p>but yea, the full experience i think comes from being in a quad.. which is what i had freshman year, then a double sophomore year (with a different roommmate)</p>

14

<p>Freshman year is the best and easiest time to meet people. Everyone is new. Look at the bright side, with no roommates it will force you out of the room in order to socialize.</p>

15

<p>Is your D doing a preorientation program, i.e. OA or CA? They're a great group of people to get to know so that your D won't feel alone the first couple of weeks. And, the Z groups are often a lot of fun. Since Bloomberg is mostly singles, every freshman in her hall will be open to making friends. No worries. </p>

<p>Also, she can opt for roommates next year!</p>

16

<p>S#1 was soooo jealous that Princeton has single rooms. S#2 looks like he is in a suite but his room is a single. Living in cramped quarters with someone else is difficult at times. S#1 wanted to study or go to bed early and roommate was up late, etc. Having your own space is such a gift IMO. They still have the opportunity to meet everyone...freshman all need to make friends...and, many times, the roommate situation is uncomfortable at best and they don't even want to go into their own rooms. I am thrilled at my S will have a little space all his own. I think that your D will end up lovin' it.</p>

17

<p>Having a single dorm is quite standard at college in general from what I have gathered. But it generally comes with a common room for every 4-6 dorms, so you still feel like you have "room mates", just that you don't sleep in the same room as them. It's an advantage in terms of having your own peace if you want to study in your dorm.</p>

18

<p>There are a fair amount of freshman that get single rooms. I'm guessing that she won't regret it by the time she gets settled in. Usually housing is reticent to redo, since there won't really be any available rooms (had issues with room draw this past year for upperclassman, let alone froshlings.) So unfortunately not likely that room assignment will change, but I am sure that your daughter will enjoy the merits of the single throughout the year.</p>

19

<p>Our S had the same problem last year – requested 2-3 roommates, wound up in a single. He also was disappointed, and I think justifiably so. There is no doubt that he would have had more spontaneous social interaction in a suite with three roommates than he had in a single. He had times when he felt lonely and isolated, and he spent more cell phone minutes than we expected staying in touch with old friends. Like your D, he had to learn to manage his sleep schedule, and he suffered from sleep deprivation at times. </p>

<p>The reality is that it’s tough to leave your family and friends behind, and go off to enter a new world on your own. It would be nice to have a built-in new support group in place the day you arrive, and I think almost every college freshman dreams that their new roommates will be their instant best-friends-forever. Unfortunately, it really doesn’t work that way – not every roommate or relationship experience works out the way you hope, and you have to invest effort reaching out to people in order to build new friendships. It takes awhile, it can be bumpy, and you need to be patient.</p>

<p>A single gives you time and breathing room to figure out the people and social dynamics around you. It’s not such a bad thing to have time and space to get your bearings, rather than crash-landing into a roommate situation that might not be to your liking. You can feel just as disoriented, overwhelmed and out-of-place with three roommates as you might on your own. In fact, the wrong roommates could make things worse.</p>

<p>My advice to our S a year ago – you are going to be on your own and alone for awhile, but you can do this. You’ll have to make an effort to cultivate new friendships, but most everyone else is looking for new friends too, and you are a good one to have. Don’t be too quick to judge, one way or the other – those other kids would not be at Princeton if they were not exceptional in some way, but not everyone who is exceptional makes for a good friend. Take time to find people who are compatible and comfortable for you, and don’t be rushed or feel pressured about it. You’ll find your way.</p>

<p>Looking back after freshman year, I’d say things worked out fine for our S. He made new friends throughout the year, through his residential college and through extracurricular activities. He will live this year in a three-room quad with three roommates, as he hoped originally, but he has friends elsewhere as well. He is having the “college roommate” experience - a bit later than he might have preferred, but with compatible roommates whom he chose and who chose him.</p>

<p>I think he has come through the single-room experience with greater independence and self-reliance than he showed before he left. He’s less tuned into what “everybody else” is doing, and more confident following the beat of his own drummer (even goes to bed early if he is tired). He’s happy to be in his quad, but he doesn’t seem overly concerned one way or the other about his room situation now, and I think he’d willingly move into a single again as well. I’ll bet your D will come through freshman year the same way.</p>

20

<p>^Great post.</p>