<p>Thanks for your responses, Encomium, Marite, and Just-mom.</p>
<p>My writing doesn't tend to be terribly thick with Latinate words, though I find them coming into play more and more. I use a fair number, but I'd never considered it a problem. Thanks for your insights.</p>
<p>sorry if im posting twice, but im not sure if my last one worked..
hi, everyone!
is my essay topic bad?? i wrote about when i made the decision to move to the u.s. when i was ten. it was of my own accord, and i had to leave behind all my family and life as i knew it to come live w/my mother in ohio. i describe being detained in the immigration office with my grandma, then go on expressing how it made me feel bad to make everyone go through the worry and nervousness each year as a result of shuttling back and forth between my mother in the us and the rest of my family in the Philippines. in the end, i tie in how i wouldnt be applying to all these colleges if it weren't for that momentous decision.</p>
<p>i think this falls under the "overcoming obstacles" no-no. am i toast? there's not too much time left! i was banking on this essay...please help!</p>
<p>helloworld:
send me your essay by PM and I'll take a look.</p>
<p>hi,
actually, i wanted an outside opinion on my essay, from the viewpoint of somebody who doesn't know me. do you mind taking a look at my essay?</p>
<p>I can look at it. Send me a private message.</p>
<p>marite, did u get my essay? i sent it as a private message.</p>
<p>helloworld:
check your pm. I sent my comments earlier this evening.</p>
<p>I have a question about an essay I have for UMD CP. </p>
<p>Basically, one of the essay questions was If you could do anything w/o failing, what would it be? </p>
<p>I wrote about playing the piano...being nervous before a recital, the emotions during a recital and genuinely enjoying a piece, becoming completely engrossed in a piece and enjoying it, but then messing up on a note and losing that sense. Then I talked about how I was a perfectionist and was unsatisfied with my playing when compared to recordings of my pieces. At the end, I got over my annoyance with not being able to mimic the piece perfectly, and decided to keep practicing and working hard- improving bit by bit. </p>
<p>I thought that in the context of the question, I was supposed to highlight a mistake (or mistakes) and discuss how it keeps me from doing "something w/o failing." I showed a few friends, and they agreed that it was a good piece. </p>
<p>However, when I showed my father, he told me that the piece was too off beat, and that it shows I'm inconfidant. </p>
<p>So at this point, I'm not really sure if my piece is too off beat and inconfident, and I could use some help.</p>
<p>bump some help please?</p>
<p>janeyre,
I am not an expert, but if you send it to me I'll look it over and tell you what I think.</p>
<p>Hello! I'm writing my UC essays (i've procrastinated alll the way to the last minute! woohoo! yes yes i am stressing) and I've asked a lot of my friends about what to write and they've all told me that schools don't want to read about you whining about obstacles but want to read how you've overcome them and learned from them and how they will effect your growth as a person. Personally, for one of my essays I am writing about my father's death leading to my drug addiction and then how I overcame the addiction and went back to school and struggled in the beginning but now i'm where I'm at now. My friend wrote about how even though she was really sick in high school she still struggled and did her best in school. Just some advice. I don't know if it will help you. I could just be rambling. =)</p>
<p>Thx for commenting. I ended up revising my essay, making it more optimistic and basically, on what you said Beckyhiloe</p>
<p>Hi everyone.. I was just wondering if anyone could help me on what topics to write about in the essay. </p>
<p>Ok my English teacher told my class that we should write about a SPECIFIC experience that really expresses who we are, and to include many details. She gave us samples of essays that got into Stanford, Harvard, etc. They were unique in their own way, and all focusing on a specific aspect of the applicant (for example, one boy wrote about his love for jazz). </p>
<p>My sister told me to write an essay about the generic, extracurriculars. She told me to stuff my essay with as many activities as possible. (BTW, she went to Yale undergrad and Harvard Law). She told me to write the 5 paragraph essay detailing 3 personality traits (for example, perseverance, leadership ability, etc.) and activities that show those traits. I feel like the essay she wants me to write is really.... I don't know.. elementary...... and she told me not to listen to my English teacher. She also told me her friend who applied to Yale Law (and got in) stuffed his essay with extracurricular activities as well.. </p>
<p>I don't know what to write about, specific experience or stuffing with activities... Can anyone give me advice?</p>
<p>There's a wealth of great info here, thanks to all.</p>
<p>I can't be sure, but I think the essays that cram in all the ECs would be redundant because this info is covered in the app. I peronally would favor an essay that was original, different, passionate... It would stick out and be more enjoyable to read.</p>
<p>For all you know, the people you who did these "EC" essays may have been admitted <em>despite</em> their essays!</p>
<p>try going to this website
<a href="http://www.han****college.edu/Default.asp?Page=498%5B/url%5D">http://www.han****college.edu/Default.asp?Page=498</a>
<a href="http://www.deanza.fhda.edu/transfer/ucpersonalstatement.html%5B/url%5D">http://www.deanza.fhda.edu/transfer/ucpersonalstatement.html</a></p>
<p>Every school wants a different direction with an essay. The UCs more or less want to know more about YOU and what you are interested in. The extracurricular stuff is all explained in the application. This is your chance to make yourself stand out from the essay they read just before yours. With freshman applicants, they are also seeing that you CAN write an essay. You will never find the perfect essay to write. Everyone's is different and you have to go with your instinct. What type best describes you? Well hope it helps.</p>
<p>I just realized that CC didn't show the entire address for the first website b/c it had the name c<em>o</em>ck in it. But thats the name of the school. so just substitute the write word (c-o-ck) for ****</p>
<p>I see..I guess I will have to stick with my insticts =/
thanks SBmom and beckyhiloe this thread really helps me</p>
<p>I am so glad that i looked on this thread before writing my essay because i was really stuck in a rut. Thanks to all that you have said I ended up switching my essay because my last one although it spoke a lot about me, i dont think that it did so in as great of a depth as i would have liked. Because of deadlines i already had to send it off to Boston University, however i still have Boston College, Brandeis and U. of Rochester left.</p>
<p>Would anyone please help me by taking a look at it and giving any critique on it. One reason why I am worried is that i wont be using any of their pre suggested topics, because i really dont believe that i fit into anyone of them. </p>
<p>Who influences you or has had an impact on your life? Not everyone has been influenced greatly enough to speak about. So i choose something that i knew i could speak about with passion because it was true and actually meant something to me: Why i would like to be a doctor.</p>
<p>Also i had written an essay for a scholarship where i had to reply to a quote. In my opinion it was a strong essay, but do you think i could send that essay out to a school?</p>
<p>NO ABSOLUTELY NOT</p>
<p>they can easily make out that you have been recycling essays</p>