James Madison in VA is super friendly, and students have a strong commitment to community service.
I thought the students at Vassar seemed pretty laid back and down to earth. Same with Bard.
OP, what we have found after several college visits with our D18 is that you just don’t know if it’s a good fit until you spend some time on campus. With our D, either the school has “her people” or they don’t. I know, with some effort she probably would be able to find a group of her people at any school, but there also seems to be a prevailing attitude that she picks up on quite quickly. I have often been wrong about which schools I think will be good fits.
@ShrimpBurrito I totally agree. There was one school on our list that we felt was a great fit until my son attended an accepted student event and was supposed to do an overnight . He decided about midnight that these were not his “people” and came home.
@ShrimpBurrito that makes a lot of sense. I guess what I would like to avoid, then, is thinking a school is a good match until the very end. Seems like that could be quite disappointing. Anyone have any suggestions on how to get true feeling of school before accepted students week? I’ve heard suggestions like sitting in on a class or eating lunch in the cafeteria. Any other ideas? Certainly I’ve read that basing your opinion of the students on how much you like the tour guide is a bad idea.
My kid has a good friend headed to James Madison. She chose it becasue she said people seemed really happy. My neighbor’s son attends too, he loves it. Def not a pretentious kid.
@homerdog Accepted students events are different than orientation. They give a student the opportunity for a visit to see the other students that would be attending with them. They are usually held in mid spring which allows a student time before May 1 to commit. My son went to one for every school he was accepted to except the CofC one because he had already been to quite a few events by the Honors College including an interview weekend with an overnight . It was very helpful.
Is Grinnell on your list? I think “unpretentious” fits it well, it is selective (I believe this year’s class was 18%), excellent academics and nice merit aid. My daughter is a freshman there this year, and has only been on campus for 2 days (Science Pre-orientation program), but she is loving it so far. When we attended an alumni event for accepted students in Chicago in the spring, I remember one recent grad telling us that the best thing about Grinnell is that it was the first, and perhaps only, place he’d ever been where he felt he could completely be himself without any judgment. That resonated with her. Also, she did not want a highly competitive environment. She is a great student, she pushes herself, but in high school she loved working with her friends and they all helped each other. From her overnight stay at the campus last spring, and again what she’s seen of the upperclassmen mentors in the science program, they seem to really encourage collaboration, and there doesn’t appear to be a competitive atmosphere. Again, this comes from a few visits and two days of pre-orientation, but I think it is worth checking out.
@ChicagoMom62 yep! Grinnell on the list! And we are in the Chicago area too so it’s nice to hear your daughter’s experience. She sounds a lot like my son. We have no idea yet if he will like a school like Grinnell- small and rural. Only the will tell!
UNC Wilmington is known for having a very welcoming, chill, and laid-back student body.
At most colleges, orientation is made up of matriculating students - is it not?
@yikesyikesyikes My point is “Accepted Students Day” is different from orientation . Everyone who attends orientation is matriculating to the school, but not everyone who attends accepted student day matriculates to that school. They are different events.
I just wonder if “accepted students day” happens on the same day for some schools and you would be forced to choose only one to attend!
Most schools will have several accepted students days from which to choose, but yes, it can be a logistical challenge to visit many students at which one is accepted. One of the biggest issues is maintaining school/EC workload while fitting in accepted student visits into such a short window.
Ah, thanks for the clarification. For some reason I thought you were indicating that orientation days did not include students who would be attending that school.
I think sitting in on a class can be hit or miss. It’s a bit like basing your choice on the tour guide. If you have a wonderful prof. you’ll be excited by the school but if you end up with someone who isn’t one of the superstars you can have a less than stellar experience.
I always think it’s a good idea to spend some casual time on campus. Watch people as they walk through campus. Do they look happy? Are they saying hi to each other? Go a soccer or football game. Are all the students of color clustered together in the stands or are many groups mixed? Sit at a table with some students or just plop down on a sofa in the student lounge and ask anybody in the area about their experience of the school.
Ask a ton of questions.
How often do you and your friends go home for the weekend? What do you do in your off time? How hard is it to join clubs? Which are the most popular ones on campus? If you had it to do over again, would you still come here? What do you dislike about this school? How easy is it to get in to see the Dean of Students if you have a problem? How useful is the Writing Center? Have you had trouble getting the courses you need for your major? Is there a “this school” type? Does your experience with this school match its reputation? What other schools do you think your school is most like?
The key is to ask questions of a broad range of students. Most kids are happy to talk about their schools to prospective families. All you have to do is turn to the person next to you at that soccer game and say. “Hi! I’m thinking of applying here. Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions?”
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
The original poster did not ask for a list of pretentious colleges, so starting a list (aside from being mean-spirited and ugly) serves only to derail this thread. Several posts deleted. Please stick to the topic.
We just toured several schools in the Midwest (mostly LACs and smaller universities). Take my remarks within the context that it was summer time and the number of students we encountered was very small - usually a handful, sometimes as many as 10 or 15. So the sample size may not be representative of the whole.
I was really impressed with the students at Macalester - very down-to-earth, intellectually curious, and wanting to make positive changes in the world in a thoughtful, sensitive way. The same could be said for the students we met at Oberlin - I am fully aware of its SJW (Social Justice Warrior) run amok reputation, but the kids we met were truly lovely people, not pretentious or rigidly politically correct at all. Finally, St. Olaf, everybody was as nice, helpful, and earnest as could be from the most senior admissions staff to the many student admissions interns we met. They epitomized “wholesome” in a very appealing way.
Wash U - students seemed very enthusiastic, smart, and nice but I wouldn’t characterize them as laid back. Again, it was the summer. The great majority of the student guides were capable Asian women from either the east or west coast.
@homerdog, I’m not sure if I’m allowed to name other web sites here, but there’s one site that has students’ answers to questions about their school. One category is Guys & Girls - the students give their opinion of the types of kids at their school.
I would take it all with a grain of salt, and try not to let it sway your opinion of a school too much. It ruined my opinion of one school 
I take a bunch of positive remarks by students seriously, but try not to be swayed too much if there are a bunch of unhappy kids complaining, although you do have to give that some consideration.
A few months back I was reading the reviews of a bunch of the usual suspect pretentious schools, and it was getting pretty depressing. Then I read the reviews for College of Wooster, and I don’t think there was one single bad comment about the student body. Everyone had nice things to say about their classmates. No complaints about rich, snobby, pretentious kids.
If you don’t know what site I’m talking about, PM me and I’ll send you a link.