<p>It is appalling that the university cares so little about this girl that they are willing to let her run herself into the ground and possibly risk other students’ lives as well. I’d be concerned not only for my child’s immediate safety, but for the school’s total disregard for every student’s safety and well-being. The comments from the CA are just sickening to me. Seriously, I’d reconsider whether I’d want my child in a school where attitudes like that are so common.</p>
<p>Agree that the response the students got was extremely odd. I’d request that the university put their response in writing. Sounds like an extremely volatile and untenable situation. Would definitely escalate up to the head of housing and and mental health followed by the president of the University.</p>
<p>BTW, what is a CA?</p>
<p>The term CA stuck out to me when I first read the OP’s post.</p>
<p>At my DD’s school, a CA is a Community Assistant; however, CA’s are only at larger off campus apartment complexes (not owned by the school). </p>
<p>CA’s are students hired by the property management company to facilitate social events/activities and to deal with minor issues (such as noice, bad roommates etc.) before getting the property manager involved. Since it is not a dorm, they can’t do inspections and have no real “authority” over anyone. Since this is a real life landlord/tenant situation, all they can do is report issues to the property manager and essentially all the property manager can do is evict troublesome tenants or call the police - no school-like penalties. If this is a true landlord/tenant situation, it would explain no referral to the school’s Health Services - HIPPA issues.</p>
<p>Given the response to the problem roommate, I wonder if this apartment is really an off campus apartment? At DD’s school, the housing department keeps lists of and refers students to properties. Many of the apartments are literally across the street from the campus border, so the only way you might differentiate on campus from off campus would be to look at the lease - someone driving by would not be able to tell.</p>
<p>the CA’s are like RA’s for the on- campus housing…definetely on campus!
All of you have wonderful advise and insight which I will take to heart-
yes, above all I am concerned for my daughter’s well being and welfare but even though I do not know this girl, I am sad and concerned
the response from the CRE was so poor and wrong- in no way shape or form am I okay with this! Where is the humanity? it is ugly and disturbing at best! And yes, I do believe I have the “whole story” but when do comes home tonight I am sure we will talk again over a bowl of matzah ball soup…
The five of them want to stay together and I do hope that happens now more than ever I think they need each other!
I have a feeling her parents were not contacted and they know nothing about her but her name…so sad…</p>
<p>As I said before, if this is an on campus apartment, as you have said, then the response is so strange that I don’t actually believe it at this point. Institutions first and foremost protect themselves and there are several different possibilities for legal problems here. I would get the story straight. I have never heard of a college allowing a student in this much trouble to stay. A leave would be arranged asap.</p>
<p>Yes, I find it hard to believe, also, after having dealt with my son’s mental illness when he lived on campus. The university bent over backwards to make sure that he and others stayed safe. When it was obvious he wasn’t doing well, they helped him withdraw and even refunded all of his tuition. I wonder if the girl is registered with the office of students with disabilities? She might not be on drugs - she could be psychotic.</p>
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<p>You’re assuming all institutions and their administrators are rational and logical on some level. That’s not always necessarily the case.</p>
<p>I am not assuming they are rational. I am assuming they are self-protective. (Institutional self-protection is not always rational or fair, actually.)</p>
<p>First, the easy issue to deal with is the one of the boyfriend always being over. It is likely a violation of the housing contract, and frankly, young women are often more comfortable when not sharing living quarters and a bathroom with a man. Have them go through the chain of command for that issue.</p>
<p>The harder issue is the one of the young woman. Just a shot in the dark, but I am guessing that the university is more afraid of a lawsuit from her or her family (violation of the ADA?) than it is afraid of a lawsuit from you or the parents of any of the other young women. There are parents who can get really crazy about wanting their not-normal kid (and I define running around naked and screaming about suicide as “not normal”) to have a “normal” experience at the expense of everyone else around them. While it is not rational, it can be an effective way of getting what you want: as one former CC regular said, whomever gets irrational first, wins.</p>
<p>I would have a serious talk with your D about the entire situation; state that you are considering legal action, but need to know what you do not know. Stress that you will stand by her even if the situation is messier than described (ie she or the other housemates have some culpability here). Talk to a lawyer and, if appropriate, have the attorney talk to the school.</p>
<p>Often, just having an attorney make a phone call on your behalf will change things.</p>
<p>Also, document, document, document: dates, times, descriptions. “She like, always, like, has her boyfriend over!” will not have the same effect as “Over the last sixty days, her boyfriend has slept over fifty-two times.”</p>
<p>I agree that the university response to the troubled girl does not seem to make any sense. I would have everything in writing and I would also go above that supervisor’s head to the Dean of Student Life. It is very sad for the poor girl but it is putting your d and the other housemates in an untenable situation. They signed onto to attend this college and live and study in a safe environment. This is not a situation of roommates not getting along over issues, this is a mentally disturbed person living in your midst.</p>
<p>Everyone else has given great advice. I would be raising a huge fuss with the college over this–you are presumably paying for your daughter to have four years of a supportive learning environment and her future is on the line. Apart from the physical safety issues for everyone involved, I would worry that this is costing your daughter critical focus on classes and other aspects of college life. What if she does poorly in her classes because she is wasting so much time dealing with this, or she can’t graduate on time as a result?</p>
<p>Some of the comments made here suggest that although the apartment may be on campus a third party may either own or manage the apartment complex for the university. If this is the case then the typical rules used in the dorms may not apply.</p>
<p>Before doing anything else I would carefully read over all housing contracts your D signed. This should tell you who owns the apartment complex and what right the renters have and how disputes between roommates will be managed. After doing this I would then contact the Dean of student housing and describe in general terms the situation and ask how to resolve the dispute.</p>
<p>Yes! It’s really not a school issue. The apartment is likely run by a property management company and while it’s on campus the school is not going to help, here. My d works for one these companies and they employ CA’s as well. She’s a receptionist. But the school is very hands off with these apartments. There is much confusion every year when kids want to pay rent with financial aid or ask housing questions at school. But they are very accommodating with roommate issues. I’d start in the building office. Details aside, they should be able to get her out of that apartment.</p>
<p>I don’t care who runs it - if it’s on campus, it’s the college’s problem.</p>
<p>Well, that’s fine in theory but if you want to find an actual person with some actual authority to actually assist with the problem you will be wandering around the campus for a long time. Go directly to building ownership. That is where you pay rent. They will help. Good luck.</p>
<p>OP said they talked to the CA (useless) and the CA’s boss (also, probably useless) but the food chain goes much higher than that.</p>
<p>“I dont care who runs it - if its on campus, its the colleges problem.”</p>
<p>I don’t disagree with this statement, which is why I recommended contacting University Housing after reviewing the lease agreement. I am sure they have seen this sort of thing before and they should be able to provide guidance on how to proceed.</p>
<p>Sure, do that. They will direct you to the satellite office of your on-campus community. In other words, the place you pay your rent. And yes, this stuff happens. I hear lots of stories.</p>
<p>If it’s the kind of set-up it sounds like, lease is with the property management co. CA is the giveaway.</p>
<p>It must be a property management company, not the school, responsible for the apartment. No school would behave like this. The ADA does not cover self-destructive or dangerous behavior, no matter how much the parents of the girl might protest. The girl could be legally committed against her will due to possible harm to herself, at least for a few days.</p>
<p>I am sympathetic to all parties. I hope the girl gets some help, and I hope the roommates can focus on school and regular life.</p>
<p>Not sure what course can be taken with the property management company. I would talk with both the company and with the school and keep going until I found out how to address the situation.</p>
<p>If a lawyer can help, I think meeting for an hour and one phone call from the lawyer to the appropriate person would do it. That money would be well worth it, if you have it. But first, see if that kind of action is needed.</p>
<p>In the meantime, the school needs to look into how best to address the situation with the girl so she is safe. They cannot call the parents without a release but they could perhaps hospitalize her. If she lives in private housing, I am not sure what the school’s liability would be but surely there would be concern regardless.</p>