<p>Was some of this thread deleted?</p>
<p>I intend on staying on my side of the fence with West Point, but I felt I had to respond to this thread.</p>
<p>Alex,
Congrats on West Point! I don't think you could go wrong whatever you decide.</p>
<p>I don't know why everyone feels like they have to gang up on Navgirl. Before I registered with CC I read all the posts on all the service academies. I wanted to learn as much as I could before posting and asking questions. There are a lot of parents on here that offer help and guidance. There are also a few that seem to be offended by students posting their accomplishments. If you don't have anything good to say about someone here then you shouldn't say anything at all. Constructive criticizm, if it could even be called that, should come from our parents and teachers, not someone on CC. We're all looking for help and answers, not criticizm. We'll get plenty of that at the academy. I don't see anything wrong with a student voicing their opinions and noting their accomplishments. Some of you sound like you have some insecurities within yourselves, otherwise, why bash a 17/18 year old? If you don't like what you read, skip over it for crying out loud, or maybe you need to stick to the parent forum. Sorry, I just think some of you have gone too far. It's too bad the cruel reality has to be here.</p>
<p>"Was some of this thread deleted?"</p>
<p>Yep!</p>
<p>I guess by the tone of all the forums everyone both parents and students are getting anxious...Isn't it "March madness" time anyway? I have enjoyed all of the student posts and it has helped me understand what one goes through making such a big decision...one that I didn't have to make. I understand the parent anexity since I'm in that boat too...CC has help our family quite a bit and we have learned alot over the past year of posting as well I hope others have. Relax everyone and if you don't like the posts, don't respond. Realize that some here may get the USNA chance and others may not...but all are very talented and will have awesome opportunities. Hopefully those that haven't heard yet will have news soon...and those that haven't decided will find it within themselves to make the decision...Juniormom :-)</p>
<p>My mother is a CC member, and since I received my appointment last week I thought that it would be a good idea to join as well and perhaps meet some people facing similar decisions. After reading this thread I'm feeling way more confident in terms of my own maturity level. My own experience at SS led me to believe that the USNA was a place where you brought the best you had to offer and left your insecurities at home. It looks like it's good for some people that I-Day is months away. </p>
<p>I was also rather puzzled by my waiver letter. It arrived after my offer of appointment, and was dated two days later. Hmm.</p>
<p>This is certainly an interesting and important question for your son. I have two children who have attended USNA (one is there now).<br>
In my experience there are two schools of thought about this type of situation -- both an applicant who is wavering about going to the USNA and also about a midshipman who has doubts about being there after a year or two (which is quite common). The first school of thought is that the student should be left alone to make his/her decision and shouldn't be persuaded/forced/encouraged in either direction. This goes along with the idea that midshipmen should not be at the USNA unless they absolutely want to be there, etc. The second school of thought is that the young person in fact should be encouraged/persuaded/encouraged by parents. Young men and women may need the honest thoughts of those who are older and more experienced.
I tend to lean towards the second school of thought in this situation. I believe that the USNA is a tremendous experience and opportunity and that a student who has gone so far as to apply and be accepted should in fact be encouraged to attend--- and to forego the "siren call" of the pleasures of the civilian colleges. Meaning in life comes from successfully meeting challenges, and also from gaining a feeling of having contributed, to having the clear feeling that one is doing something for a group or cause greater than oneself, and that one is in fact helping others (i.e., the nation) by being a part of the defense forces we need. The interpersonal skills, discipline, experiences and learning that goes on at the USNA cannot be duplicated in other college environments. I would personally tell your son that it is -- of course -- much harder to attend the USNA than it is to attend an Ivy League or other top school. There is silliness and a lack of personal control and a lot else that isn't perfect at Annapolis. It perhaps won't be as much fun. But I don't believe that the best and brightest of our next generation should be encouraged to choose a college just on the basis of self-actualization and fun and finding oneself. The men and women who choose to climb the highest mountains or to train for the marathon know that the rewards are worth it. I believe the same holds for choosing the tougher path of the USNA. </p>
<p>Just my opinion.</p>
<p>Parentalexpert: your advice is good in theory--if a kid is good enough to be accepted to a challenging school like USNA they should be encouraged to attend, not discouraged simply because life is less fun.</p>
<p>BUT don't you ever worry about encouraging too much? A lot of 17-18 yr olds, no matter how strong and independent want to please their parents Thus, if they see their parents speaking so highly of the academies [i.e. they are life challenges, defining experiences etc] and kind of discounting the Ivys [i.e. they are hard to get into but so what kind of attitude that many here have], they will be swept into that thinking? That is fine to be swayed by your parents but as parents don't you ever worry that your kid will get to USNA and call you at some point and say 'i hate this and i should never have done it, why did you, albeit subtly, pressure me to accept this over Harvard, MIT or wherever else. We all know that teens have a tendency to turn around and blame when they're unhappy--how would you handle that knowing that you're the one who encouraged him to do this [sure in theory you can leave USNA and transfer to an Ivy but lets be honest its harder to get in as a transfer, esp. if you were so physically or emotionally challenged at USNA that your grades suffered].</p>
<p>I'm not saying parents should 100% stay out of it and give the kid no guidance in this huge life decision, but what is the balance!?</p>
<p>Parentalexpert:</p>
<p>It was good to read your comments. I am still waiting to hear about a possible appointment and have asked myself what I will do if I get one. I am very interested in going to USNA, but at the same time, I am nervous about possibly having to make this big decision. I guess I know deep down that I would never get the same overall education and experiences I would at USNA, but it will be difficult to feel 100% sure about this decision. Many people have told me that I should jump at the chance to go, if appointed, because I will never get this opportunity again, especially if I would turn it down. What helped your two sons or daughters make the decision to accept their appointments?</p>
<p>I thought I would give my two cents on this subject having gone through this myself. I had a tough time making up my mind when I received my appointment. Things are clearer and easier until you have to make a commitment, then your doubts and worries surface. I wanted to be an officer and have the chance to see the world, but I was worried about what I was giving up. My friends kept talking about going here or there, and what they were planning on doing the summer after graduation and this added to my doubts. My parents and other adults kept telling me what a huge honor and accomplishment it was to get an appointment and I would easily fit in and do well. After many confusing weeks, I finally decided I owed it to myself to go to the academy. Sure, I might miss out on a few things that summer but in the end I would experience things and places most people only dream about. The first year was challenging and I had some times of doubt during the year, but so did friends of mine at civilian schools. I am now close to finishing up my second year at the academy and have no regrets. I am thankful that my parents and others helped nudge me to see that coming to USNA was the best choice. Hope this helps some of you struggling with your decision.</p>
<p>Again, these are good questions. I think there is rarely a point at which decisions are crystal clear. I'm sure students admitted to -- say -- Harvard, Princeton and Yale have a tough time deciding what to do as they weigh the pros and cons of each school, and they may have second thoughts about their choice once they go. You will probably never be 100% sure about your decision. I would ask yourself why you applied in the first place and what sparked your initial interest. You can be assured that the USNA will be tougher and more challenging and probably less "fun" in the traditional sense than a normal college. You will have less freedom (particularly in the first year) and you will have to put up with more nonsense and bureacracy. The personal rewards? The obvious tangible things: a free education, a guaranteed job for five years doing things and traveling places that would be very difficult to do immediatley after graduating from a normal college. There are also the more important intangibles: the sense of personal accommplishment, the life skills, the sense of purpose, learning to deal with all types of people in often difficult circumstances, and the ability to tell yourself that you have faced challenges and met them successfully. Being an officer in the Navy also embodies a tradition of integrity and excellence that will stay with you for the rest of your life. I guess i wouldn't waffle: if you get an appointment, go.</p>
<p>When I started this thread, it was because of an interest in hearing what PARENTS [note the title] and MIDS [see my initial comment] had to say about helping their children make a decision. I had less interest in hearing what anxious appointees had to say about themselves. [Even less interest in appointees that have not made a decision.] After all, having an anxious teenager of our own, we already know the anxiety they face in trying to decide between "top 20" schools. Furthermore, I would guess that most students that have gotten to this point have fully explored the USNA, i.e. they have attended summer seminar or CVW and have a good idea of what they are getting into. Thus, "advice" that consisted of these elementary steps was even less helpful.</p>
<p>Apparently, based on the number of views and replies, this topic holds a great deal of interest for many. Unfortunately, as is common throughout many of the threads, some feel a need to respond in every thread. Even if they are not really capable of advancing the topic because of their relative lack of experience or inability to make a decision themselves. [Although, arguably, by expressing his/her own anxiety, one's post may lead to answers that are useful.] For many, I suppose full participation is what makes these threads interesting. Of course, I have to admit to a slight interest in how some people tend to overexpress themselves in these boards. [As if, for example, it is truly possible to develop an electronic friendship and/or rely on the opinions of others that are not all qualified to give such opinions. See the "what are my chances" postings and the "evaluations" given by one 18-year old to another 18-year old.] Personally, this is the first and last time that I have participated in one of these discussion boards. </p>
<p>I want to thank the ADULTS that have participated in this thread. Your comments have been, for the most part, thoughtful, helpful, interesting, and-- one might say -- mature. </p>
<p>My son has made a decision; he will be attending USNA. I have to admit that we come from the school of thought that believes in a slight nudge. [That's what parents do, they influence kids based on experience.] The easy choice for my son would have been to attend the civilian schools to which he was accepted. Upon final analysis, he did not want the easy choice. </p>
<p>My son is not superman. He's a great kid, outstanding academically and able to achieve the goals, so far, that he has set for himself. [Like most all of the kids that have received appointments.] He's just our son; our firstborn; the first out of the nest.</p>
<p>We will miss our little boy as he turns into a man.</p>
<p>We can't always dictate who will reply to a public thread. I found the students postings on this subject very sincere and extrely "on topic". Navgirl is probably more qualified to comment on the topic of "being unsure" than most anyone here. She certainly has earned the right to respond to any thread, based on a pretty established track record of intelligent and courteous posts. The schools she has been accepted to would all be lucky to get her.</p>
<p>starting a thread does not mean you dictate what is said. its a public forum and people can chime in whenever they want about whatever they think applies to the general topic. i don't think you should discount ideas from other students on what helped them make the decision just because they are kids, i think maybe whatever worked for them may work for your son. also, there are many anxious people trying to make a decision and they felt that an unsure apointees thread was a good place to ask their questions even if they dont directly answer your question. so dont complain about the responses you got to your post.</p>
<p>The world does not revolve around you and your son. I'm happy for everyone who participates in the Naval Academy forum, students and parents. We like to chat and relate to each other so sorry we are not the bunch you want to talk to.</p>
<p>Bill,</p>
<p>I think you received exactly what you were looking for - some thoughtful discussion on a very interesting topic. You heard from parents, mids, appointees, and hopeful candidates. The discussions have taken some turns just as if you had a group of people in a room discussing the topic. </p>
<p>These are the only discussion threads I participate in right now as college is foremost on my mind with 2 children pursuing very different paths at the same time. I hope I have offered some value as I have gleaned many valuable insights from lots of posters here. I also hope you remain with us because I expect that you will be able to add either information or thought provoking discussion that helps all of us.</p>
<p>As my first 2 children leave the nest at the same time, I sincerely understand how you feel about missing your son. My daughters will be in different parts of the country. Best of everything to him and to your family. You have every reason to be proud.</p>
<p>One definite benefit of Midshipman hopefuls chiming in is that they are expressing things that your son might be feeling but unable or unwilling to share with you. I know my daughter had feelings of disappointing me and my husband if she didn't pick the academy route etc. and only after really talking and talking and talking did all her thoughts (or most I think) come out. So, you may be able to glean some insight from these kids. Good luck to your son.
NAPS05mom</p>