<p>Can anyone give me some feedback on my update letter after being deffered?
Good/Bad? Too wordy??</p>
<p>Dear Mr. XXXX,
I am writing to inform you of some additional information to my XXXXXXXXXX application. Although my admission for Early Action to the XXXXX College has been deferred, I am still very interested in XXX and therefore I wish to keep you up to date on my activities and achievements.
My approach to senior year has been to take classes that will challenge me and to prepare myself for college. My aim is to do my best inside and outside of the classroom with my grades being my number one priority.
I have made Honor roll for both first quarter and second quarter so far this year. I ended the semester with two As and 2 Bs resulting in a semester GPA of 4.5.
I retook the SAT in January and my combined score went from 1570 to 1640. The biggest improvement was in Critical reading where I went from 480 to 560. The College Board will be sending you an official score report soon.
So far this year I have completed approximately 30 hours of Community service.
If I were to ask you one thing when you re-evaluate my application again I would specifically ask you to apy particular attention to my Junior and Senior year. Looking back now I see that my grades in sophomore year were just not good enough. My sophomore year was my best year in Varsity golf. I captained our school team to the conference Championship, I qualified for the regionals and State Championships plus I played in many tournaments in North Carolina the Peggy Kirk Bell tour being one of them. My priorities were wrong and my grades suffered. To some extent that has affected my overall GPA which is now 4.03. Please consider the 4.45 result for my Junior and Senior year as a true reflection of the Student that I am now.
Thank you for your continued consideration of my application.<br>
Yours Sincerely
XXXXXX</p>