@angiepie What year are you in? Don’t be fooled, by the end of your senior year you will see LOTS of kids in your class attending UCs…they may say its because of X program or whatever, but for a lot of kids its because of the money. Even at your elite school. Like @GMTplus7 said, lots of wealthy people think its a rip off to spend so much on college. Likely those kids have not had a financial chat with their parents about college finances.
angie- relax.
I figure you go to Harker, Menlo, Castilleja -or one of the other “elite” HS’s on the Peninsula.
LOTS of seniors from those schools go to UC’s.
Agreeing to go to one of them will be a HUGE relief for both you and your parents. You’ll see.
Thousands of students outside Calif would KILL to be able to get a degree from a UC and pay only instate tuition.
Your parents financial situation- hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt- should be a HUGE lesson to you for the future -college debt is/ can /and will be a terrible burden- one to be avoided at all costs.
Be thankful your parents moved to Calif.
Yes, learn from their example of what not to do for your future in terms of large amounts of debt.
@menloparkmom did your kids go to Menlo by any chance?
lol yeah, I go to Menlo.
Yep, we can attest to that!
Your parents’ debt level is not something to replicate, imo.
If the price of college continues to rise at this rate, $100K of student loan debt for a student will be the norm. Even at a great public institution, tuition, fees, room and board is 30K and rising. If parents can’t afford to help much because of their own debt, heath expenses, caring for aging parents etc… then that kind of debt will be normal.
The fact of the matter is, living in high pay areas results in high cost housing. $600K for a house in DC, NJ, and many parts of CA is the norm, and not luxurious.
If you provide your year, intended choice of study, and all stats, folks here might be able to recommend private schools that offer good merit money that would bring the COA down to 25K or thereabouts.
Also is that 25K tuition or 25K total cost? Makes a big difference!
Seems doubtful that the average income is $500,000, unless a few super-high income families really skew the average (as in the mean). Yes, that school probably is populated by wealth, but it seems unlikely that a large percentage of your classmates comes from that much wealth.
https://www.menloschool.org/about/college-acceptances.php lists college acceptances for past Menlo students. Unfortunately, no listing of matriculations is given. But it does indicate that many students do apply to lower cost and selectivity schools – it is not like everyone is going to HYPSM.
@angiepie - I’m familiar with your HS and I understand where you are coming from. First, I just want to say that, given the amount of debt your parents have they are being quite generous with the $25,000.
Have you visited UCSC or UCSB or another UC yet? If not, go and take a tour and talk to some students. They are great universities and maybe you will end up loving one of them. Also, please realize that once you graduate you won’t be surrounded by your HS friends anymore, and people won’t be judging you on which college you are going to.
As several PPs said, if you share some stats people here can steer you in the direction of some private colleges that may offer you enough merit money that you can afford to go to them instead if you prefer. But don’t just choose that path because it will make you “look better” to your HS peers. Take the time to figure out what you want for yourself. Once you are out of your HS bubble, some of this stuff just won’t matter anymore.
Menlo School costs 41k per year, which is comparable only to the Harker School among the Bay Area. It’s likely that the median household income is higher than even most Ivy League schools ($250k with roughly half the class receiving financial aid). I would guess at least 300k.
In comparison, Bellarmine College Prep is a much cheaper private high school ($19k per year), but enrolls just 10% of their graduates in UCs (mostly UCB/UCLA) and 15% in CCs/CSUs. Parents prefer to pay even for mediocre private and OOS publics instead. Given their income profile, it’s definitely plausible that only 10-20% of Menlo School graduates enroll at in-state public institutions, which is most likely skewed toward the middle or bottom of the class.
http://www.bcp.org/data/files/gallery/ContentGallery/College_Statistics_Class_of_2015.pdf
Keep this in mind…Once you graduate from this tony school, you won’t be seeing these pricey-school-bound kids on a day to day basis, so any “embarrassment” that you’re feeling will soon pass. And seriously, they’re not going to care. Even if a couple of them make a comment, that will be it. They’ll move on to their schools and won’t be an issue for you.
My mother, who was from a low-income family, attended a private school where her classmates were the daughters of some of this country’s most affluent familes (for instance, Heinz daughters). There were times when my mom was embarrassed by what she didn’t have, but in the end, it made no difference. Everyone moved on, but stayed in touch with reunions, etc. I, too, attended a private high school where affluent people sent their DDs (Karcher family, the Mexican Portillos, legislators, etc). It really made no difference. Friends don’t really care about those “differences”. We’re all FB pals and keep up with the REAL meaningful stuff (babies, grandbabies, family member sick, loss of parents/spouses, etc). You will have those good bonds, too. BTW…one of our most successful classmates went to a CC after high school because that’s all her family could afford. She recently sold her business of nearly 100 million.
Going to a UC is awesome. There are affluent kids happily attending. If you’re embarrassed during the “lunch table talk,” then just be vague. At this point, you’re not sure where you’ll be attending and leave it like that.
BTW…does this pricey prep school offer any college scholarships? If so, would you be considered for any?
goldenbear,
I made the assumption that the OP is a GIRL, based on her sign in name, and Bellarmine is for BOYS only, which is why I did not mention it. 
Angie, My DS went to Menlo and MANY of his classmates went to UCB, UCLA, etc, etc.
MY DS turned down Ivy’s and other “elite U’s” and went to a Calif University in great part because he won a full tuition scholarship. He got over the “you’re going WHERE??” comments really fast, and now is at a tippy U getting his PhD. Not having to ask us to pay megga $$ for his college education was a huge relief for both him and us.
Once you are in college, the world opens up for you, and going to a college where you are NOT surrounded by the super rich elites will be a relief, as well as good for you!
Ucbalumnus, that average income is not out of line for Menlo school these days, lol.
Come by the parking lot an see the types of cars the students drive!
I agree with menloparkmom. I would guess a majority of students in the top %'s of their high schools in NY would love to have a system like California. You could choose any of the schools in the California system and none would be like glorified high schools. What a relief that would be for some people in the Northeast!
@angiepie
I’m guessing some of this is that you garnered need based aid at Menlo…and clearly, that will not be the case when you head off to college. Colleges do not use the annual incomes of all enrolled students to determine need based aid. They also don’t consider elective consumer debt. It was your parents’ choices to assume $300,000 total in student debt. That was not necessary for them…and it’s not necessary for you. Buying a house…also a choice. You won’t get need based aid for that either.
But the good news is that you live in a state with terrific instate public universities. If your parents are offering $25,000 a year…you should be good to go.
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I’m not sure this is completely accurate, but even if it is…so what? This has absolutely nothing to do with your family’s ability to pay for you to go to college.
Your family has minimally $800,000 in debt. That is a LOT of debt.
And lastly:
This will not happen at all with need based aid. In other words, you will not receive a dime of need based aid at even the most generous colleges. You could get $20,000 in merit aid, but that’s not going to be at HYPSM and the remaining Ivies…and a bunch of other top 20 schools…because those schools don’t GIVE merit aid.
Are you currently a HS senior?
What kinds of cars are there in the student parking lot?
Not sure if sending a student to high school filled with extreme wealth is a good idea, if there are other academically suitable options. The student may acquire expensive habits and tastes (in colleges and other things) that could be a hindrance in the future.
@ucbalumnus I agree, and this applies to college as well. My son, a lower middle class student from a single parent family, acquired an entitlement mentality and expensive tastes from fellow students at Haverford College. This has not helped him in adult life. I’m not blaming Haverford or the friends, but it can happen to some students. However, Haverford did provide outstanding financial aid, something we would not have received from our “flagship”, Penn State.
What kinds of cars are there in the student parking lot?
the kinds that parents who earn $500,000 + can afford !
A parent with $500,000 could afford anything from an old Ford Focus to a new Bentley Mulsanne. So are these found in the parking lot there?
If your curious why dont you pop over and see for yourself…
My kids’ half-sister graduated from Menlo in 2012. She loved it there and wasn’t among the affluent families (although from appearances one wouldn’t know). I always enjoyed looking at her prom pictures…usually taken at a friend’s home with a group of girls/guys standing on a grand stairway. Some of the pics looked down at the entryway (which was way bigger than my living room)!
And, OP, you really should apply to the CSU’s and UC’s.