<p>When people mention that a certain few top schools give merit awards, some perspective is needed. These top schools are filled with students with top stats, so obviously all or most aren’t getting merit. </p>
<p>Those few top schools tend to target their merit to certain students that help with their diversity numbers…regional diversity, ethnic diversity, maybe gender diversity (more female eng’g students), or something like that. </p>
<p>BSMom…if you’ve found that schools that only give need based aid (like the ivies, MIT, Stanford and some others), will expect you to pay full freight, and you can’t do that, then your strategy needs to be:</p>
<p>1) Apply to some top schools that will award some merit based scholarships and see what shakes out. These can be your financial reaches.</p>
<p>2) Apply to some match schools that probably will award some merit.</p>
<p>3) Apply to a couple of schools that you know FOR SURE will award your son large assured merit for his stats. Those can be financial safeties.</p>
<p>In response to your questions…yes, of course we have saved a lot for our kids education ever since they were born. I just know they both want to go on to grad school so we are looking to for quite a few years ahead of us. I am not looking for need based aid, nor do I think it is appropriate that we would consider getting any. I truly was looking to find out if there were colleges out there that we have missed that might have an opportunity for him. I know merit is to a very few at those places, but I’d rather him apply there and try than to try at a school where it is need only. That’s what I was looking for, so thank you for the ideas that were posted.</p>
<p>And not that is anyone’s concern, but sometimes there are other reasons for needing to retire early (health???) that may not be just wanting to live the easy life. You don’t know me, and it is not fair to judge priorities.</p>
<p>Some top private schools do have major merit awards, but very, very few students get them. We are talking a handful. (As mentioned before, the common data set can give you a perspective on that.) </p>
<p>Mostly when people talk about “good merit aid” they are speaking of amounts from $5K to $15K per year–maybe $20K at a few schools. With many schools in the $50 - 60K+ range all in, you are still speaking of spending a lot of $. You need to come to terms with that reality and chose your list accordingly. If you want to go after more realistic full scholarships, you will need to go down the ranks even further for schools. D has a friend getting a full scholarship (merit) at Syracuse University. He got into some highly ranked schools (just below ivies), but went for the full tuition scholarship–plus $ towards other perks. </p>
<p>Consider Syracuse, BU, GW, American, Brandeis (more limited), NYU (tippy top), U of Chicago (tippy top). Good luck!</p>
<p>As an NMF, your son would qualify for full tuition merit aid at Northeastern University in Boston and Fordham University in NYC. He has two excellent options there but they may not match your definition of prestige.</p>
<p>Actually TomSr… those are both on on his list. </p>
<p>It’s his “reach list” that he is trying to choose and wanted to find some for that list that have some hope that something might come through rather than, nothing could come through, so don’t bother.</p>
<p>You also are under no obligation to pay for their grad school. One thing some parents out here do is give their kids a choice. Tell them there are “X dollars” for their education. They can spend it all on undergrad, or choose a cheaper undergraduate option so they have some money left for graduate school. Also, depending on their grad school major, their grad school may be funded by the grad school (this will likely be true for my D2, who will be a STEM major). D1’s employer will pay for some of her graduate school expenses, so that is another possible route that doesn’t require you to pay for it.</p>
<p>Knowing that you have not only undergraduate, but graduate study ahead for your children, you might entertain the possibility of your state university’s Honor’s College, or perhaps that of another state. Some of the good ones provide an elite environment within a much larger context, attractive to some kids. If you have a good state uni, it’s a beautiful deal. Save your money for grad school.</p>
<p>U Chicago seemed very sincere in their desire to work with us, and did give a merit scholarship. If that’s an attractive school, it’s probably worth an app. You can check the U Chicago forum here on CC, and check out the size of the scholarships people have received in the past. I did check out all the school forums here on CC that D was interested in, and found that historical information very useful. </p>
<p>Most helpful for us was to come up with our own number, what we were comfortable paying per year. Then looking for situations where that was possible. NMF does help, but you do need some flexibility. ASU’s Barrett Honors College was a great deal this year for NMF’s - full tuition and all fees paid. D seriously considered it but in the end decided to stay closer to home. The NMF forum here is also very helpful.</p>
<p>We didn’t pay for oldests grad school - we didn’t even help her screen schools.
Since most people don’t have a college degree, I doubt many have expectations of paying for their children’s graduate degrees.</p>
<p>Schools may have you file FAFSA and PROFILE even for merit aid, and may expect you to spend education savings on undergrad and not for 4 or 5 years down the road.</p>
<p>The thread listed above provides information about the percentages of non-need freshman who received merit aid at various colleges based on those colleges’ reporting information on their Common Data Sets. It also provides info on how you can compute these numbers for any college that publishes a CDS.</p>
<p>A good number of folks are in your position, bsmom123. I have always referred to it as financial purgatory. We made too much money for anyone to feel sorry for us, but not enough to write the check. My husband is retired from the military, so my retirement is really underfunded. Anyway, child one just graduated from Pitt where she attended on a full tuition scholarship. She was accepted to Chicago and Georgetown where we would ave been full pay. Child two was awarded an ROTC scholarship after one semester at his school. </p>
<p>Anyway, do some looking around on here. There are many, many fine schools that are looking for bright kids. Some of them throw some pretty good money at the kids.</p>
<p>I’m in the same situation and it sucks. My parents have an income of about 200k with little home equity or savings, and have a lot of expenses due to providing for a family of 6. While most 100% of need schools’ calculators do point to some financial aid, it seems unlikely that we will be able to afford many of the most prestigious schools. </p>
<p>The hard part of the decision is that most of the professions that I’m really interested in do in fact take prestige into account heavily. Management Consulting, investment banking, and buy side financial jobs (asset management, private equity, venture capital, hedge funds), all favor prestigious schools greatly.</p>
<p>I’m in agreement with you in prioritizing retirement over college saving and spending. Odds are you and your spouse have worked your tails off for years, diligently saving and not spending lavishly. We also save some in 529’s every month, but divert much more to the 401K account for retirement. In the end, no one will help fund our retirements, and there are plenty of folks who have to retire early unexpectedly. I’ve told our kids we will provide about 1/3 of their college costs via savings. The other 2/3 need to come from their own summer job savings, part time jobs, scholarships, along with whatever help we can kick in while they are in school. I’ve made it clear we will not borrow any money, cosign any student loans, rob the 401K or take equity from the house in order to pay college expenses.However, the goal of getting a college education really needs to be accomplished by them. There are other options, such as military service, working for a gap year, Americorps service, and so forth, to accumulate some cash. Many employers also provide tuition reimbursement, and a student with a marketable associate’s degree can tap that source to finish a bachelor’s degree.
My father made really good money, but gave us a limited sum to pay for college. He said if we attended community college then transferred to a state school, it would fund us 100%. He was right. Sure, I wanted a top school as well, but had to work within the means. 20 years later, I can honestly say the 2 years of community college has never been an obstacle in accomplishing my career goals. State schools are a great value overall.
Best of luck to you!</p>
<p>bsmom, I am sorry you feel picked on. Do know that a lot of people are in your position. I think there is something about the “deserving” merit from elite schools that gets under people’s skin sometimes. Things are just really different now from when we were applying to college, and there are far too many talented kids for the available spots and dollars.</p>
<p>I was curious about where you were from to see what might be your state flagship and I saw your son’s stats:</p>
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<p>While he is very bright, he is unfortunately also “regular-smart” among kids applying to top schools. If he is interested in grad school, I think your best bet is to find a state flagship honors program (as previously discussed) OR an LAC (outside the top 25-30) that wants him. My son had comparable stats and this was the strategy we followed. He was offered substantial merit aid at a number of really good LACs that brought the cost down below our state flagship. He too will likely go to grad school so we are in for a long slog (although as others have said, there’s no obligation to help with grad school and for all we know he will get funding). He is at an LAC that is intellectually stimulating, with lots of other smart kids and awesome opportunities for undergraduate research and funded internships. We are confident he will be able to reach whatever goals he has set out for himself. I am sure your son will, too.</p>
<p>As a number of people have indicated, you are not alone. Many here can relate to your circumstances and many will think you are selfish and that at that level of income you have no financial concerns and it is your duty to balance the economic inequities that exist in higher education. Once reality sets in you have to either look for schools that are generous with merit aid for a student like your child or look at your flagship state schools (perhaps with honors programs).
Your child has wonderful academic credentials and should have great merit aid possibilities at a number of really fine schools. Best wishes!</p>
<p>Been there, done that. Unless your kids are looking to go to law/med school, they will be independent students and can fund grad school any number of ways on their own steam. If it means trying to get a fully funded PhD, employer paid mba/EMBA, working a few years then going off to b-school (a couple of D’s friends are doing this). I knew D was looking for professional school and she did have options. </p>
<p>She was told that if she went to state U, we would have some left to help fund grad school. However, she went Ivy, and the commitment was that in our house it was the 4 year plan, and help to have her graduate as close to debt free as possible. Grad school would be a matter of where her grades, scores and money would take her. Ended up with good grades, good scores and a 3-year full tuition scholly after having to turn down a higher ranked school where **she would have had 200k in debt<a href=“as%20the%20parent%20bank%20was%20closed”>/b</a>.</p>
<p>As a person who “goes” through the college process every year, I also agree with Sally, that your very talented kid is going to be in a very competitive pool for top schools (go to the school forums and look at the ED/RD admit threads). Let him know that there is no shame in applying broadly and following the money. Make sure that you and your son use a bottoms up approach making sure that he has at least 2 true safeties; schools that offer his major, that are financially feasible options for your family and if it were the only schools left on the table, he would be happy to attend. </p>
<p>I think you should also look up some of the threads by curmudgeon, whose very talented smart/athlete kid had to turn down Yale and Amherst because they money did not work. Took a full ride to a another school, lower ranked and is at Yale Med.</p>
<p>Look of some of the post by mom2collegekids, whose sons took the $$ at Alabama; one in a top PhD program, the other in med school. Look up some of the threads by Katwkittens and Cptofthehouse who have been through the process with 5 kids each as both will tell you that there is always more than one route to get from point A to point B.</p>
<p>^All good advice. Another thing to keep in mind is that with so many smart kids out there–many of whom fall into the same financial situation as your son–and so few available spots at the “top” schools, these kids are all ending up somewhere. The composition of the student body at schools you may have never heard of is thus often very strong, and a smart kid like your son should be able to find a high level of academic rigor and student engagement in a lot of different environments.</p>
<p>You are very fortunate to have choices, a luxury that most don’t have. It’s your right to choose to spend your savings how you want, but the idea you should get financial aid due to such choices is somewhat absurd. </p>
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<p>No one said you were required to live on your salary minus your EFC. I suspect many live on less than that amount. EFC is meant to be paid by a combination of current salary, savings, and loans if necessary. If you get financial aid, it will only take it away from those less fortunate.</p>
<p>bsmom – Let me add my voice to those who say they are in the same boat. I was in your shoes just one or two months ago. My DD1, a rising senior with great stats, was stuck on the elite schools. After investigating financial aid options, I was shocked and in a state of disbelief when I realized that there was no way for us to afford those schools. The very knowledgeable and kind participants on this board helped me understand that there are many EXCELLENT colleges that are not in the top 25 or 30 on the USN&WR list, and once you get over the “my D/S is so fantastic she/he deserves to go to Harvard/Yale/Princeton/Stanford” trap that so many of us fall into, you will realize that there are some great schools out there that offer merit aid, up to and including full tuition. This has been a paradigm shift for us, but we are adjusting. You and your DS will too. Listen to the people on this board. Most of them know what they are talking about.</p>
<p>p.s. to Iron Maiden: I don’t know where you live, but $200k/year is definitely middle class in a lot of places in the U.S. Where I live, shabby 3 bdrm/2 ba tract houses in decidedly middle class neighborhoods go for $800k to $1 million. Even with a $200k income, after paying state, federal, and property taxes, a $5k to $6k/mo mortgage, two car payments, insurance, fuel, utilities, food, clothing, medical and dental expenses, etc., there is not going to be a heck of a lot left for college savings, if anything.</p>