Upper Middle Class Parents Need Wisdom From This Crowd

<p>“Isn’t OP in CA? Neighborhoods in NYC probably aren’t so relevant.”</p>

<p>To me, the relevancy is, what you give up in cost of living or quality of life, you can sometimes make back in opportunity. So there are public schools that offer more, there are opportunities to get involved in the arts or in research. Maybe there are work opportunities available. We don’t know where in California OP lives, but in some parts, like in most of NYC (and I spent a time in Brooklyn this fall; in the not trendy parts), is access without a car. I have a nephew that lives there now, and would gladly help my D pay rent when she graduates in 2012, to let her live that life for a bit. I can admit the neighborhood she grew up in was not so good, in that regard. </p>

<p>BTW, this is the precinct I grew up in, and if I am reading this correctly, they actually show a DECREASED crime rate in the last twenty years.</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.nyc.gov/html/nypd/downloads/pdf/crime_statistics/cs113pct.pdf[/url]”>http://www.nyc.gov/html/nypd/downloads/pdf/crime_statistics/cs113pct.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>OK, back on topic…</p>

<p>I also suggest she look at women’s colleges for merit aid, though Wellesley does not offer any (purely need-based).</p>

<p>Good idea…I think Mount Holyoke gives merit. Don’t know if Smith does.</p>

<p>Also try Santa Clara…nephew was offered half tuition scholarhsip for an ACT 33.</p>

<p>OP, given that your D loves Yale, I’d also have her apply to Rice. Excellent school, residential college system, and there are some big (albeit highly competitive) merit scholarships that don’t require any additional application. RD app deadline is January 1. One of D1’s high school classmates won one last year–she was turned down SCEA last year but said it would have been unaffordable for her family even if she got in. She’s very happy at Rice this year.</p>

<p>so important to talk to financial aid office at Yale. make it happen for your daughter for her first year. talk to your high school’s college placement counselor about a vast array of merit based and other scholarships. congrats on EA!!</p>

<p>just one thought about merit scholarships. make sure the scholarships come out of the amount that the family needs to pay. make sure it just doesnt reduce the amount the school offers.</p>

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<p>Eli…college is for FOUR years, not just the first one. It’s important for the family to take a four year view at the affordability of Yale, or any other college for that matter.</p>

<p>If they look at that “vast array” of merit scholarships you are talking about, they need to find out if the money is awarded annually for ALL four years. Most private scholarships are one time awards only, and while they can ease the load for freshman year, they are not available in subsequent years.</p>

<p>The good thing about SCEA is the student does NOT have to make a final commitment immediately. The family can see how the finances “shake down” and compare with other offers as well.</p>

<p>Shrinkrap, crime rates are down throughout NYC , and the reason, wait for it…Roe vs Wade… Read Freakanomics, very interesting cause and affect case made</p>

<p>SlithyTove - yes, she had intended to apply only to Princeton, but now may throw in a Harvard app. to see how their aid stacks up. I like your other suggestions too, but she eliminated womens’ colleges early on and will not seriously consider Rice due, I am guessing, to how Texas is typically seen through eyes of CA teen. </p>

<p>EliRivas - as you and others have suggested, we did contact Yale’s FA staff and found that we made a key error in filling out the forms (using projected gross proceeds rather than net income for schedule C consulting business, among other errors). Turns out some aid might be possible. We will rush to complete our 2011 taxes in early Jan and re-submit. </p>

<p>Lesson learned - we rushed to complete the CSS profile for SCEA, but now that we have found errors, we have learned it is not possible to go back and fix them.</p>

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<p>You cannot amend the Profile online BUT you CAN make changes and submit to the school if you made an error. You need to contact the SCHOOL to find out their procedure for making corrections to the Profile. We had to do this. In our case, two schools asked that we print out the Profile and write in the corrections (we did so using red ink) and mail it to them. Another school used IDOC and said it was not necessary to make changes as part of IDOC submission was tax forms…all of them.</p>

<p>We are in a similar situation to the OP, but with different backgrounds. We only moved to the USA 7 years ago, from a country where education is generally supported by taxation.</p>

<p>We originally moved to the US on a short-term secondment, but decided to stay. When we made that decision, we had no college savings but realized we’d have to save aggressively. Luckily we have a good family income (who can tell what the future brings).</p>

<p>With a HS Junior and Senior, the tsunami is about to hit. Like Japan, it’s higher than we expected. Over the past couple of years, we’ve had conversations about how much we’re able to contribute to their college education. It’s no way near a private college’s costs, but sufficient to allow them to graduate from the excellent state college with minimal debt. I anticipate that both of them will be interested in graduate school, but they are aware that there is a limit to our check book.</p>

<p>My son, the senior, is a NM Semi-Finalist. I’ve encouraged him to apply to schools where this drives merit scholarships. In addition, he’s applied to a couple of top tier schools who offer no merit money. He’s now been accepted to 3 excellent colleges, each of which is within our budget given the merit awards. At the end of the day, he will have to make a decision, with significant ‘advice’ from the parental corner. I strongly believe that leaving undergraduate college with significant debt is a millstone that can destroy an individual’s options in life.</p>

<p>Given the OP’s experiences over the past few years, their D should understand that life can be unpredictable. However, not going to Yale is not going to destroy her life (nor will attending make her life). There are many schools you can afford, which will give her the challenging environment she needs to thrive. College is not the destination in life, just part of the journey.</p>

<p>Sit down as a family (including your younger child), work out the options, and move on with the knowledge that your family is still far luckier than many. </p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

<p>^^^</p>

<p>Impressive post. Bravo to you and yours. </p>

<p>:)</p>

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<p>You are indeed fortunate. We could send a second kid to college on what we spend for insurance and the bills that insurance won’t pay.</p>

<p>I have no good advice for the OP, except that I wish your D the best of luck. She obviously has great stats and should have no trouble getting into other great schools which are more affordable. The other good thing is that you live in a state with great public universities.</p>

<p>I hear/read so much about what great FA is given by the ivies and how they are making it affordable for so many. Sadly there are still students like the OP’s D who fall through the cracks due to various circumstances. I know a student (personally) from an upper middle class family who also had to turn down an Ivy acceptance because the cost would have been a hardship to the family. I do not know if this child was offered any FA, but whatever, it just wasn’t possible. I am happy to say that this student is thriving at a more affordable school.</p>

<p>FWIW - if I were in charge of the FAFSA, I would have a cost of living index built in. I also live in a very expensive area (because that is where the jobs are) and what sounds like a very princely income to some is not that great here. As for the argument that salaries are lower in lower cost of living areas, that may be true but the FA calculators look at income so the folks in the higher cost areas get the shorter end of the stick. I am not saying this out of bitterness, I am blessed to be able to be full pay for my own kids.</p>

<p>Op - Best of luck to your D.</p>

<p>On the subject of seeing exactly where you can scale your current lifestyle back to, and how much income that frees up, there’s a wonderful blog you might want to look at called “Mister Money Moustache.” He and his wife managed to retire early by scaling back expenses and he advocates some kind of radical moves (like losing your second car!). Not everything he suggests is doable, but it has definitely gotten me thinking about what I am currently spending money on and where I can find more to save for college.</p>

<p>OP, what you can afford is a personal decision depending on the lifestyle you want to maintain and deciding where to live. Although I would be fortunate to make 175K, I do understand how it may be difficult for many to live with. None of us know your personal circumstance. </p>

<p>My daughter applied to a number of 100% full need met schools. There was a 30K difference between the best offer and the worst offer. All the schools had similar reputations for good financial aid. My advice is to cast your net wide. You can PM me if you want more details.</p>