<p>I found the best one way to deal with this is to take a two-pronged approach. </p>
<p>First, make it clear that the possibility of him staying is irreversible. A bad recommendation/reference, etc. will not be fruitful in manufacturing the desired outcome of keeping him at the school.</p>
<p>Second, work to instill a sense of pride in the school for doing such an excellent job of preparing your child for this next, exciting step. Have them feel a sense of ownership in the success of his application. Get them invested in it. I had to keep from gagging, but I wrote a letter to the head of the school praising the work of all the teachers and advisors, etc. who worked so hard to mold him. I even used some of the language that I was using in my parental statement…in hopes of planting seeds. The head of school asked for permission to circulate to the teachers and that’s what happened. I had several teachers a coach thank me over the next couple of weeks for my kind words. </p>
<p>I have no idea if it actually helped, but I felt more confident that they were on board.</p>