Urgent essay review

<p>Hello, I need a urgent essay review. It is the answer to the "No application would be complete without ... " promt</p>

<p>Small drops of water fall over me as I try to avoid them by wrinkling my eyes. The small wound on my phalanx was preventing itself to bleed out thanks to the high blood pressure of my hand, but this was a detail. The abrasive rock my hand was hesitantly trying two minutes ago turn out to be a good friend of my feet at this point. This is why I love climbing.
Who said giving up was an option? To me, it never was. I agree that conceding defeat is part of the game but god knows how obstinate I can be when it comes to reaching my goals. Most of the time, nobody comforted me in my failures and I turned out to be the only one who gave importance to the process. Acting is what society wants. We came to the point were speculation endangered the realization of our dreams. Acting is a relief. My parents always wondered why I love such a risk-taking activity as climbing. Actors own the future.
Deep breathe, head stretch, ready, and go! I just hanged the fifth quickdraw. Four meters left for the next one. Nine meters until the end of the Route “Soleil de Bamako”. I often questioned myself about my difference and why did I mostly had ideas that bothered my peers. But people always ended up proving to me that I was right at a certain extent. Why am I inflicting this to my self? Why should I climb rocks in the middle of the Todra Canyon ? Good question! In fact, it would seem to most of the inhabitants of this zone that these climbers are weirdoes. But it takes a weirdo to find what is sane.
However, the process does matter. It is what enables us to perfect our techniques. I found my self surprisingly advantaged by applying the pointe I learned during my ballet record. And my complicity with Mehdi, my belayer, helped us balancing our effort and enhancing our efficiency.
Stubborn ideas are the deviation that takes us to the reason. And just like I used the alternative route despite everybody's sighs, I ended up being the only one to touch the finish karabiner of the Soleil de Bamako. The silent clamor of the wind was enough to compensate the silence of my dumbstruck mates. I have acted.</p>

<p>I’m sorry, I’m having trouble relating it back to the prompt you’re saying.</p>

<p>This prompt is the least specific of common app, it is basically just about writing an essay to let them know more about us. Do you think it would be in my favour to choose this essay as the common app essay ?</p>

<p>There’s some intense lexicon action going on in there; I’d definitely consider it for prompt number 3 or 4. I could see how you might be able to link it towards a “challenging” belief people have about something like giving up or taking risks. Maybe you could talk about how you’re “perfectly content” while rock climbing as well as acting (prompt 4.)</p>

<p>There’s some INTENSE lexicon action going on as well. That can be both a good thing or a bad thing, but in this case you have grammatical errors that make it feel as if the words you’re putting in don’t coincide with who you are. Like you just put them in because they sound fancy.</p>

<p>I can’t see how this intense lexicon hamps the understanding. Could you pleaase correct the sentences or show me what phrases are confusing and why ? it would mean a lot to me ! Thank you in advance</p>

<p>Little up !! I really need some help !</p>

<p>This essay needs a LOT of work. Do you have an english teacher that can help you? Or someone fluent in English?</p>

<p>I don’t think you really want to tell admissions officers you are a ‘wierdo’</p>

<p>The ideas here could make this a really standout essay, but I’m afraid that unless you get someone to help you fix the grammatical errors, it will be difficult for admissions officers to see past them, and this essay may make them think worse of you. If you don’t have a teacher or parent who can help, perhaps using an online grammatical correction engine may help?</p>