Please Can you tell me how much is my essay worth and how could i improve it to get a at least a solid 11 !
It’s my second trial and the essay score is really keeping me back from my goal in writing . So , how could i improve this one or generally my style to pass the 10 mark . Thanks , help is appreciated 
Page 1:
i.imgur-com/r4gf8cj.jpg
Page 2:
i.imgur-com/Qsn6uIb.jpg
(Replace the - in the link with . )
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