Urgent-need advice on disciplinary action

<p>LDS, did your daughter ask for your help? If not, I’d let her deal with this issue. I doubt it will scar her for life. I got suspended from school four days before high school graduation. I guess it was on my record, but not a soul ever mentioned it.</p>

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<p>Waste of a phone call. The Frosh is presumably over 18, so the college has zero interest in sharing. Indeed, it could potentially invade the privacy of a legal adult.</p>

<p>My best advice is to seek local counsel, who have had direct experiences with the college, and get a read from them.</p>

<p>This is what happens when parents think they are the consumers: they start thinking it’s OK to involve themselves in their adult children’s affairs.</p>

<p>Reminds me of my kids when they were teens: “it’s not fair” that this kid got a harsh disciplinary finding, so Mommy/Daddy is going to weigh in.</p>

<p>But if you are going to get involved don’t bring a knife to a gun fight: get legal counsel to help because parents usually don’t have any standing to request appeals of decisions made by their school about their adult children.</p>

<p>Serisouly, there may be no harm in your calling up to find about any additional information . . but please do not expect that you can challenge what they school decided.</p>

<p>I’m trying to generate an emotion related to probation from school that isn’t contempt.</p>

<p>Meaning contempt for joke that is school probation.</p>

<p>I’m not sure why this matters in the greater scheme of things.</p>

<p>Oooo…the school gave me a frowny face. And it’s going to be on my records for 8 years? Oh, no! Whatever shall I do?</p>

<p>Oh, that’s right. You’re a university. That means that I can completely ignore you and laugh at you to your face.</p>

<p>@ LDS, don’t worry, I agree with Hunt, this is a mild punishment. If she keeps her nose clean being on probation won’t have an impact. If a potential employer asks about the charge down the road she can explain what happened.</p>

<p>This is a learning experience to careful about what you post on Facebook or other social media, the internet is not private. Potential or current employers, school officials, people on interview committees could become aware of anything you have posted.</p>

<p>I have seen extreme punishments for the oddest things before, so this does not strike me as that odd.</p>

<p>There should be an appeals process. She should go through that process. When I was in college, I had a friend who was kicked out because she was once in foster care. It seems the administrator who did the process and put her through a hearing saw that as being equal to being in jail and that she was a threat to other students. It was pure bigotry. She appealed and won. But she also left the school. There was a lot of bigotry at that university.</p>

<p>Well that is going to teach her friends not to post everything they do to facebook. Really, it is a good lesson for everyone. </p>

<p>As far as it being “on her record”… have things changed? Do employers have access to student records these days? If not, it is a non-issue. As far as graduate school goes, I can’t believe that a graduate program is going to deny someone admission because she went up on the roof.</p>

<p>Was this NYU? NYU has had a fair number of suicides lately and almost all of them involved people jumping to their deaths. My understanding is that it’s gotten a lot stricter about access to high places. </p>

<p>The one thing I would do is ask your D to make sure that her record will show the exact offense and not some vague “violated school rules.” Request a transcript if there is one–I doubt it, but just in case there is, it doesn’t hurt to ask.</p>

<p>“I think it would be a great conversation starter in an interview-- Potential employer “I see you have a disciplinary action on your record, can you explain what happened”. DD-“Well, I went up on a roof”. Potential employer “And…” DD- “That’s it, I went up on the roof. Here is a copy of the transcript from my 'hearing”. Potential employer “lol, lol, lol, lol” .” SteveMA</p>

<p>The only thing I would add is, " . . . the view was stunning."</p>

<p>I would not worry about this at all. Every grad school will ask for an explanation. They will love the answer.</p>

<p>This is just stupid.</p>

<p>" . . . it is a large University on the east coast. "</p>

<p>That explains a lot.</p>

<p>Go online & google the university’s Code of Conduct. It usually falls under the office of the Dean of Students or similar office. The Code of Conduct spells out the disciplinary process, punishments, & the appeals process. Please be aware that a university disciplinary system has different rules than the legal system (procedure, burden of proof, appeals process, etc.). </p>

<p>Schools are very serious about students climbing on the roofs of buildings. 2 years ago a first-year UVA student slipped off the roof of the physics building and died. [‘Tragic</a> accident:’ UVA student dies in fall from roof | The Hook - Charlottesville’s weekly newspaper, news magazine](<a href=“http://www.readthehook.com/89649/tragic-accident-uva-student-dies-fall-roof]'Tragic”>http://www.readthehook.com/89649/tragic-accident-uva-student-dies-fall-roof) It is possible that your D is being used as example to others that the school takes these kinds of incidents very seriously. OTOH, 8 years’ probation does sound excessive. If you wish to find out more about this, talk to your D & 1) see if she would like to discuss and/or appeal this incident with the Dean of Students; and 2) if she would like you to accompany her to this meeting. If you decide to appeal, be acquainted with the Code of Conduct so you know the appeals process & the timeframe.</p>

<p>There should be a copy of the student handbook on the web. Your DAUGHTER should read this and see if there is an appeal process. The university will not speak to you about the probation or transcript due to FERPA regulations.</p>

<p>1) If D did not tell you about the hearing, I would wonder if she is now telling you the whole story?</p>

<p>2) Why does she tell you about it now? Does she want your advice? Your involvement? If she does, then help her and ask for more details or ask her to authorize the school to give you more details.</p>

<p>3) If she doesn’t want your help, I think at least point out to her how to deal with it on her own.</p>

<p>I wonder if it is possible that if she doesn’t get into any more trouble before she graduates if they take this off her record if she requests it too. Probably not something the advertise otherwise the effect of the threat goes away.</p>

<p>I don’t want to belittle you or your concern, but maybe look at this with a sense that hopefully, this is all your daughter will have to worry about for the next eight years! When I think about all the problems to be had between 18 and 26, (marriage/divorce/pregnancy/abortion/rape/death/health problems/financial problems/etc., a freshman disciplinary action from college for trespassing is nothing to worry about.</p>

<p>^^I disagree. Depending on the state, trespassing can be a misdemeanor. It is worth finding out if this will be on a permanent record. Yes, the D should own the process & consequences of her actions, but sometimes kids are overwhelmed, especially if this is the first time they have been in trouble, and it is important for a parent to be involved for advice & to help mitigate damage.</p>

<p>But as 50ishwoman also noted, perhaps this experience can serve as a “wake up call” & lesson learned.</p>

<p>If there was no sign then she ‘could not have’ known that is was trespassing and it wouldn’t hold up as a misdemeanor</p>

<p>Who would ever see a record of this nature outside of school personnel? I’m going to guess the likely answer is “no one.” She went on a roof. She got a slap on the wrist. Don’t do it again. And stay out of it. There probably isn’t anything more sinister to her not telling OP before the hearing than she didn’t want her parents to “make a big deal out of it.”</p>

<p>I agree that no one will probably see this record outside of the university. Probation is probably a reasonable punishment/incentive for the D to be more abiding of rules. I agree that the risk of a potential suicide jumpers is probably why it’s such a serious violation. I’m not sure there is anything to “fight” here and I agree that you probably won’t get much support from the college.</p>

<p>I happened to see this post and here is my 2 cents:</p>

<p>Obviously, it is dangerous to be up on the roof. Your D could present a case to the university council that the university created a safety issue because the access door wasn’t locked. Especially, if there has been a history of students going on the roof to take a ‘study break’, wink, wink. I know it is common sense but “how was I supposed to know that I couldn’t go up there?”</p>

<p>I agree with others; if this is all it was, as long as she graduates with good marks, stays out of trouble, grad schools or future employers aren’t going to care about it. I am sure there are plenty of people who have done worse that have made it into good grad schools.</p>