<p>A close family friend is in the process of writing the optional rec for me. I thought it would be a good idea since he can write about me from a non-academic perspective. The content of the recommendation includes descriptions of the hardships that I have overcome and examples of my service to the community.
However, I overlooked an important part on form 6.
On the optional reference form, it says:
[quote]
We discourage the submission of extra letters of recommendation beyond the required Secondary School Report and two teacher references. We recognize, however, that for a variety of reasons your counselor or teachers may not have the opportunity to know you well. There may also be someone in the community or another staff member at the high school who may be able to share special insights that would not be reflected in the required references. If this is true in your case, you may give this optional form to a recommender of your choice.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Is it appropriate for me to send in the optional rec? Would it do me any harm if the adcom thinks I shouldnt have sent it?</p>
<p>hmm... according to Stanford's website, most people do not send it.
Who's writing your optional rec, nngmm?
I'm curious to know if lots of applicants are getting optional rec from regular recommenders.
thanks</p>
<p>This would not be an appropriate use of the optional rec. The optional rec is for coaches, fine arts teachers/leaders, debate coaches, research supervisors, summer program leaders, etc. (I did a summer program at Stanford the summer before my senior year and I had the prof from that program write me a rec.) Family friends will always write positive recommendations so they are unlikely to add anything. Whatever you think this rec might add, try to bring it out in your essays instead.</p>
<p>I am not a student, I am a parent. My kids, as well as many-many of their friends and classmates applied, and I haven't heard of a single one that did not send the optional rec. Stanford does not give you an option of sending extra stuff, so it seems reasonable to use whatever options they do give you.</p>
<p>People I know had their letters written by debate couches, sports couches, flight instructor, research mentors, old teachers, club sponsors, etc. Having it written by a family friend sounds unusual, but it probably had been done as well. I am not sure if it will be helpful, but it is not necessarily inappropriate, especially if there is something important this family friend can tell about you that others would not have known.</p>
<p>If there is something important the family friend can tell about you that others would not have known you can either 1) tell your other teachers or 2) just put it in your essays. If there was some family trauma you had to face junior year or if you had to work to support your family and that prevented you from doing anything after school, there's a place in the application where you can explain that. I really don't think it will help at all to have a rec by a family friend.</p>
<p>Have you read the Gatekeepers? One of the kids there had a letter written by his friend's mother. That letter was instrumental in his acceptance. Some information can only be valuable when it comes from the original source (and not from a teacher or counselor who heard it from the student or his parents). Since we don't know the exact situation of the OP, I would not be sooooo categorical in giving advice, marlgirl. After all, we all are just guessing here...</p>
<p>thanks everyone.
I asked one of the admission officers at Stanford today. she said it is acceptable.
my recommender is more than just a family friend. he is like a mentor, or even a godfather to me. so I will probably send his reference.</p>
<p>did u get into stanford? just wondering. i am a senior right now and i attended stanford's summer college program, too. im also getting a rec from my professor!im just wondering if anyone else who went there got in</p>