Urgent- this is the most important thing you can know about bs

<p>I hope everyone will stop telling me I am a fake. It is seriously hurting my feelings that you would even think someone would come here and try to undermine peoples feelings and beliefs. I really do hope you know what you are doing as you all say. You have never truly been, so I do not think you can say anything on the matter.</p>

<p>My grades: I am doing extremely well. I am getting mostly 5’s and 4’s at Andover. This is pretty good compared to other freshman.
Grade: I am a boy and a freshman.
Advisor: My advisor is very nice, but I have not been able to connect with her. I find she is normally very involved with her advisees that are more outgoing. Therefore, she is closer with them because of their social competence.
Status: I am a boarder.
Home: Not sharing this information.
Friends: I do have friends, but not in any abundance. I have my group of friends as everyone else does also. Andover is extremely cliquey and the “cool” people only hang with themselves.
Drugs and Alcohol: I believe that doing either of these things are stupid. I do not do any of these. Many people do however. It is extremely hard being in an environment where everyone is doing these things and it is the norm. Also, Andover has a one strike policy, so I could not do these things for fear of getting kicked out.
Worst Experience: It is the middle of winter and I am having trouble with my english teacher. He never seems to treat me fairly for my papers are much better than my classmates yet I get lower grades. I have tried to meet with him many many times, but he always snubs me off. Then, when I went to my advisor she said to try to meet with again. I explained the situation, but her attention was already off me. Later, when the progress reports were due. My advisor comes to talk to me about my English class, and how my English teacher does not think I am trying my best and how I am getting low grades. I reminded her of my previous conversations, and she acted as though she did not remember them.
Social Worst Experience: I was at the “meeting” for the cluster after a study hall one night. Everyone was sharing pizza and popcorn and talking and watching tv. We started playing this game ( leave unnamed), and they simply left me out. Nobody asked me if I wanted to play or cared. Every single other person was playing. I asked one of my friends who was playing if I could join. He said there was not enough room. I sat alone in the corner while everyone laughed and ate. Not even a teacher said anything. I then left and went back to my dorm and cried. I have never felt so left out in my life. </p>

<p>I could go on and on with bad experiences. These may seem childish, but until you experience them you do not know how bad it feels for no one to care especially when you are not with your parents. I can not leave Andover because the public school where I live is terrible. It is simply not an option. Almost nobody goes to college let alone a good college. I hope this is enough detail for all of you haters. It is because of people like you guys that I hate it so much here. You should really think about what you say even though no one knows who you are. Listen to this! Please! I am sincerely trying to help.</p>

<p>I’m sorry your experience at boarding school has been so far miserable, but I really don’t believe that it’s that terrible. I know people that have gone or are currently going that call it an amazing experience, the best education they’ve received in their lives, closer friends made than in college, and so on. I visited four schools in the last few days, and everyone said hi to me as I passed them, lead me around, introduced me; they were all very friendly and happy and sociable! I know not everyone has a good time but it seems like you - correct me if I’m wrong - haven’t been fully interacting, going to dances, trying to talk to new people. I know there’s an insane amount of pressure, as well as drugs and cliques and stress, but I don’t think you should go around trying to discourage other people from going. And if you really think that it’ll be horrible for us to go, you should answer if there are any happy people at your school- explain the experience from more than one side, because I’m sure there are many people who adore boarding school and never want to leave!</p>

<p>EDIT: Sorry, PAA, I posted this before I saw your newest post!</p>

<p>could it just be that you are going through seasonal affective disorder, my friend at choate got super-depressed in the winter and was on the brink of dropping out and going home. winter sucks especially if you’re not from the north-east. the spring is supposed to be sweet maybe then you will feel better</p>

<p>im glad that you shared this with us too many people on this forum don’t get that any boarding school is just like any other high school with cliques, drugs, drinking, and sex.</p>

<p>I sincerely feel sorry for your experience at Andover. How about requesting to change your advisor since you have not been able to connect?
Yet personally, I find that your bad experience examples a little childish. I don’t want to sound rude or anything, but I have gone through similar (and worse) experiences without my parents beside; the experience were indeed very frustrating and tough, but not quite unmanageable.
I hope you will be able to find the strength and maturity to deal with hard times, and best of luck to your Andover career.</p>

<p>I am not a hater. And I am sorry for you. Please get some help or find a day school closer to your home. Your experience was not that terrible but you hating it so much means bs is not for you. Thanks for sharing your experience and let the prospective students know how bad it can get and how tough they need to be to not be defeated by it.</p>

<p>It’s definitely time for a new advisor, for starters.
Every year, there are many threads where freshman in college describe the same feelings of isolation and loneliness that you are experiencing right now. You might find it helpful to search for some of those threads, which have lots of good advice for digging out of freshman doldrums.
Is there an EC where you can connect with other students that you might like?</p>

<p>I do not want to come across as everyone hates boarding school because this is not true at all. There are people who love it. It is just that many of the people on this board seem to think so highly of boarding school. I really do not want to see any of these people who were so excited have their expectations fail. Good luck to everyone, I hope you find the right school as I obviously did not. I did not want to start a fight and create haters who feel as though i have bursted their “bubble” of the perfection of boarding school. On revisit days look at the dynamic of the students who are not talking to you because that is what you should notice. I notice a lot of separation between students and many stereotypical groups on my revisit day. I should have taken these things into consideration more carefully. Thanks!</p>

<p>Your first winter term can be really really rough—the newness of the experience is over, it’s dark and cold and so much work. But it should get much better. Consider checking out Graham House, that’s what they are there for.</p>

<p>Well sorry to hear you didn’t find the right match, but I was just saying don’t tell everyone that they wont be happy at boarding school, and that it’s a horrible decision, because it is not. Like I said before I have a cousin that went to Andover, and also have a cousin that goes to Lawrenceville, and they LOVE IT! They claim to say it was the best experience of their lives. In addition, there are people all over CC that go to boarding school right now that LOVE it, although some have their dislikes, since nothing is perfect, they mostly say great things. I am just saying don’t be a debby downer, and bring down all boarding schools, just say it wasn’t right for you. Like olivia457? did, she left choate, but she didn’t down it in any way, she just said it wasn’t for her, and that’s what you need to do, you can share your experiences, but don’t make Andover seem like a drug and alcohol infested school with a student body made up of stereotypical students who don’t care about anyone, and leave people that are outside of their click out. That is not true, some individuals may, and that is their personality, but that doesn’t mean the entire school is like that, maybe you just aren’t around the right crowd. Anyway that’s all I have to say!</p>

<p>I just wanted to say Andover is not the school. I wanted to change the name for anonymous purposes. I’m sorry I did not add this in earlier posts.</p>

<p>To add to sandakm’s nearest post, olivivia567 (?) left Choate in the middle of her freshman year, but then realized how much she loved Choate and returned for her sophomore year.</p>

<p>Hold on, PAAndover. Did you just say that this whole time you’ve actually been referring to a different school?</p>

<p>Kid, thanks for beating on Andover when you’ve actually been talking about a different school. Well-played, bud. Now there’s a thread full of misinformation about my school. Thanks for that. Really smart of you. Seek help. If you’re on antidepressants every day, you’re chemically imbalanced - that has nothing to do with school! And if you were actually a freshman at Andover, you know what I’d tell you? Get over yourself! You’re a freshman - freshman year here is structured specifically so you can bond with the rest of your grade and generally be happy. You’re placed in freshman-only dorms and have an 11PM lights-out, for Christ’s sake, so it’s not as if you’re sleep-deprived and physically suffering as a result of your surroundings. You have what, three, four hours of homework maximum? The rules here are BUILT to keep you healthy! Try coming in as a new Upper, bud! Saying it’s like getting thrown in at the deep end would be the understatement of the year.</p>

<p>So quit complaining and try to be happy with what you have! Don’t impress your problems upon others - I, for one, am having an immensely fun time here at Andover. I could whine and moan about my barely-humanly-possible workload, but I don’t - school is what you make of it. Go out a little, listen to some relaxed music, attend speakers in Kemper, join some clubs, go to free swim on Sundays, make yourself a milkshake in Commons. If you can’t be happy and recognize how fortunate you are, then LEAVE - Andover is a SUPERB SCHOOL SPECIFICALLY because the kids here are so damn happy.</p>

<p>Oh, by the way, what the hell do you mean financial aid and full pay kids are segregated? Bud, it’s virtually 50-50. I’m on a full scholarship but it’s not as if I have it written on my forehead. You don’t know what you’re talking about…</p>

<p>TomtheCat, you are a smart person, haha. & assign, I brought up Olivia because she did leave the school, I didn’t know she went back, but I was just saying she didn’t bad mouth the school, she just said she wasn’t ready. Yea know?</p>

<p>

What are you talking about? You have Andover written all over you. And didn’t you shout “I am not a liar” for a million times? What is it? You had the guts coming on to this board to bad mouth a school you have been in for 1 and half terms and then tell people you just randomly picked a name to be anoymous? You are either lying now or were lying then. Either way you are acting irresponsibly and you ask why you see “haters” toward your thread. </p>

<p>Grow up now. No one forced you to go to a boarding school. If it’s not for you, just leave and move on with your life. What did you think you could help with while you yourself is a mess?</p>

<p>Assign, I think Olivia567 did not attend boarding school for her junior and senior years. </p>

<p>Will all of Andover’s defenders please calm down, and stop attacking a depressed freshman? Realistically, anyone could make any wild claim about Andover, and it wouldn’t affect the school’s reputation one whit.</p>

<p>TomTheCat, you claim to be on scholarship, but you also claim to be (if I recall correctly) a legacy, who transferred to Andover from an expensive private school in Europe. Your situations are very different. It is a terrible feeling to think that you have no other options.</p>

<p>When we toured boarding schools, in general, we did notice that each school has its own culture. A friend who has reason to know did opine that the schools vary greatly in the social implications of integrating FA students into the student body. It’s also a subjective matter of perception.</p>

<p>PAAndover, you have made a great step in reaching out to someone about your unhappiness. Unfortunately, this is an internet message board. Please go to your school’s health services, and talk with the counselors there. Everything you are feeling is important, and your feelings are “boarding school issues” which they know how to help. It sounds as if a new advisor would be a good first step. If you are on antidepressants, you are seeing someone. Please visit that doctor, and have your dosage checked. </p>

<p>If you are miserable, take steps to get the help you need. It sounds as if you are a quiet type, given to crying in your room. In order to help you, the school’s team need to know that you need help. Reach out for that help at your school today.</p>

<p>The person is not seeking help. He is offering to help others so they will stay away from boarding schools. But you are right he needs help. </p>

<p>To prospective BS families/students: carefully assess your options coming March 10. Find the best fit. Even if you get good FA from Andover, doesn’t mean you should go there. There may be better places for you, but remember wherever you go things can go rough sometimes. Be tough, be brave, and be grateful. Good luck!</p>

<p>Periwinkle, just to clear things up, yes I am a legacy, I did come from an expensive private school in Europe, and, yes, I am on a full scholarship. Legacy does not equal rich. Both of my parents are teachers - at my old private school. That’s why I went; faculty kids are not charged tuition. Just thought I’d make that clear. I’m not the fraud here.</p>

<p>I am actually skeptical that this kid goes here. Drugs and alcohol are NOT the norm - especially among the freshman class, though I’m sure at least a little goes on. Also, this poster alludes to Andover’s one-strike policy - there’s no such thing. Andover is a second chance school, and EVERYONE here knows it. As stupid as it still is, maybe PAAndover does not go to Andover and goes elsewhere. Or maybe not a boarding school at all.</p>

<p>Understand that PAA has already confessed that he does not attend Andover. The postings are curious and in my opinion, eccentric which is not always such a good trait in boarding school. Obviously a fit it is not. I’m going to refrain from dissecting his questionable statements and just leave it at that. Maybe venting here on CC is better than going postal from the school tower. What ever the case, he is screaming for help and hopefully it will come sooner rather than later. We may also just be preparing a banquet.</p>

<p>Not everyone adjusts well. It takes me a while to adjust to new situations, and that adjustment period is difficult. However, try to stay positive. You might have to change your ways or beliefs. You might have to accept that others are smarter or more talenteed that yourself, and you should use that to try to become better. Freaking out is not the way to go.</p>

<p>I usually don’t like to go on threads like these, but changing your school name to Andover for anonymous purposes is unneeded, PAA. I mean, you’re throwing dirt on an existing school when you could have just put School X to be anonymous.</p>

<p>Other than that, though, I wish you the best. This will tide over-- it’s only freshman year. I’ve heard the winter is really hard. To be really cheesy, I’ll quote Gandhi: YOU be the change you want to see. Go join some clubs! Give your dorm mates a second chance and try talking to them more. If you feel like you’re stuck at the school and know that social people are more happy, then why not try to be? Also, yeah. GET A NEW ADVISOR.</p>