<p>Trend watching: Longer freshman orientation programming marks a concession to "helicopter parents" who resist letting go.
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Colleges and universities are learning to work with a new breed of parent who stretch the first-year send-off into a multi-day affair. Dozens of schools offer two- or three-day parent-orientation sessions to get Mom and Dad comfortable with everything from housing to campus security...
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<p>At this moment, there is an NPR radio story on this topic on "Talk of the Nation". I guess it is the "in" topic right now.</p>
<p>Jeez, my H thought it was bad that I took 2 hours with my freshman son to help set up his room. This year, it took about an 1-1.5 hours. My H also thought that was excessive. He thought dropping off his stuff at the door and saying good-bye would have been ample. I just showed him this article. He had a one word response, "sick".</p>
<p>At my alma mater one of the big reasons for Parent Orientation (and Parent Campus Preview Weekend) events is to keep the parents who are going to show up anyway, out of the way of the student events.</p>
<p>Not that this always worked...I remember working events where there was a "Students-only" (as labeled in the schedule) event and another version, across campus, "for parents", going on at exactly the same time, and still we'd have to throw half a dozen parents out of the students' event.</p>
<p>jessie, I'll bet that is bc many helicopter couples would split up and one parent would attend the parent event to see what they are doing, and the other would attend the student event to check out any important information that they might be missing :)</p>
<p>What's with everyone jumping on the parents for being a little sentimental? Geez - some of the folks in that article flew 3000 miles to take their child to school and probably won't see them again until December! (the way the airlines are working they might not get back home until December) Cut us a break if we want to do more than just slow the car down and push the kid and baggage out the door in front of the dorm!</p>
<p>I went to a 2 day parent & student orientation and I complained on the survey afterwards that they kept the kids with the parents WAY TOO MUCH. The kids didn't have much time at all to get to meet a few new friends. It wasn't until the end of the two days that they finally separated us all (for different meals). All the parents felt the same way - let the kids have some time together and let the parents have some time together ( we, the parents, had a ball chatting together without our kids there!)</p>
<p>The school even offered to let parents stay in dorm rooms overnight (I said "no" - I booked a hotel room). Good heavens... stay in a dorm room???</p>
<p>northeastmom: Believe it or not, I never thought of that before! Wow, I bet you're right!</p>
<p>My mom dropped me off at the hometown airport with my bags when I left for college - I had two bags with me, and she shipped the rest later. It was a heartfelt good-bye, but a brief one, and that felt right to me. Even if she'd wanted to go out there with me, it wouldn't have made sense - I did a pre-Orientation program that involved going out West with a dozen or so other freshmen to go camping and do geology fieldwork for a week, so she wouldn't have gotten to stay with me for very long anyway.</p>
<p>It drove me crazy as a student when the parents, or administrative attempts to appease the parents, got in the way of student events. We live in temp rooms during Orientation and choose our dorms during that time after a few days to explore them. An event that was originally designed by students to get new freshmen out of their temp dorms by assigning each student for one night of Orientation to a dinner in a dorm that wasn't their temp, got redesigned so that they were eating IN their temp dorms because parents didn't want to have to walk to a different dorm.</p>
<p>Next thing Mr. G. Jeffrey MacDonald will be writing an article about how he brought his freshman daughter to college and how nice the parent orientation was... LOL.</p>
<p>(This is, of course, a reference to this thread: <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=391932%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=391932</a> )</p>
<p>jessie, Don't feel badly. I only thought of this bc at open school nights in districts with parents who attend, they get very concerned when they have more than one student in different classes. Many parents usually split up and take notes, so that they don't miss anything. College orientation at colleges where parents are paying tens of thousands of dollars, the student is new to the school, the family is new to the school's culture, student is leaving the safety of their parent's nest, make these events really "high stakes". I have a huch that I pinned down what was going on.</p>
<p>We thought nothing of dropping our kid at the airport curb.<br>
Good riddance ;)</p>
<p>My parents go to Parent's weekend in freshman year and this time we've noticed how 'therapuetic' the parent lecture offerings are. At my older son's uni, the university organized many truly cultural events around the city. This time, for my younger son, his uni is offering four or five seminars on how to 'let go' or assist your child. Needless to say, my parents aren't interested in any of that business.</p>
<p>It's too much handholding. Ugh.</p>
<p>cheers</p>
<p>I respectfully disagree. I hardly ever left my son with a sitter until he was old enough to verbally report everything. Overprotective? I've treated babysitters who have abused kids and also the kids who were abused.</p>
<p>We increased freedoms over the years and my son was totally ready to be left on his campus, but I LOVED that his college showed a lot of concern for their students during orientation. I left with a light heart, feeling that he was in a great place.</p>
<p>The parents' orientation at S's school consisted of a tent where you could sign up for phone service, and a couple of other odds and ends. At the end of moving day, they had a wine and cheese party. We met some lovely parents and listened to some music.
I believe they addressed the parents' needs in a meaningful, caring manner. (Insert winking smiley face here.)</p>
<p>weenie: You funny, funny girl! Probably right, too.</p>
<p>Williams showed us what they thought of parents: This is what they had for us -- one one hour talk in which they outlined the horrors of helicopter parenting. I didn't go, H did. However, there were no student meetings at the time, so no infiltration there, though I wouldn't have gone.</p>
<p>Prez Morty Shapiro in support of his position quoted D's Prez Judy Shapiro (no relation, isn't that weird) who apparently coined the term "helicopter parent."</p>
<p>They had no food, no wine and cheese. Just a please don't bother us though we're always here for you. Haha. </p>
<p>I didn't mind, but it was just a teeny bit anti-climactic.</p>
<p>On the other hand the JA's (junior advisors) walked in the room and started including S immediately. They said there was dinner that night, but it wasn't a required orientation event, and we could take S to dinner. I said, "No way; we've had him 17 years, now it's your turn." Actually I didn't want to take anything away from bonding time for S.</p>
<p>So we helped him set up his room and left. </p>
<p>All were well.</p>
<p>Orientation at Humongous State U. in May was a whole day affair for both parents and our incoming freshman D. Our drop-off day a few weeks ago only involved moving in, helping to set her up (especially the computer connection), lunch, to the bookstore to pick up her book order, and then, before we knew it it was 3:30 p.m....adios Mom & Dad. I hear there was a session for parents; we didn't have any time to attend it. Convocation that night was only for freshmen; parents weren't invited.</p>
<p>Same as Springfieldmom (big state U)...orientation in the middle of summer, two days. 48 hours of hell, as far as I was concerned. Fortunately, both kids go to the same U so after the first, I just learned to drop the second off and go back to the hotel. The parent stuff was from 9 to 5, both days...all kinds of "info" sessions, tours, whatever. I'm not a "meeting" kind of person, so I get antsy after about the first hour. </p>
<p>The dropoff event was non-eventful... strictly drop off, say goodbye, and leave. Although I was very impressed and appreciative of the students (I think they were working for the university) who were driving around on golf carts offering bottled water for free.</p>
<p>After going through the application and acceptance process last year, making difficult choices, and then flying a long way to drop our kid off, I appreciated the day and a half of events, which included a great concert and opportunities to meet faculty -- I left feeling confident that the choice was a good one and that he was in good hands. I skipped the "letting go" session. The new media obsession with helicopter parents strikes me as mostly just another example of the hyped up anti-baby-boomer psychobabble we've been subjected to through the years.</p>