<p>What haunts me from the link:</p>
<p>"…many conversations were attempts to make sense of encounters that fell, in our own minds, into some murky realm…I was angry, I did not consider myself the victim of an attack. If I had been afraid of anything, it was only of some deeply awkward moment. I did not have it in me to make a scene…“There is a gray area in which one person’s rape may be another’s bad night,” [Roiphe] wrote. I was no ingénue, and had had “bad nights”</p>
<p>Gawd, that’s how it was. Murky. Oh, the awkward moments. Looking back at my group, we (the collective “we,”) excused a lot of it, saw it as bad nights- or found ways to ask friends if what they experienced was, in effect, just a bad night. </p>
<p>Part of this was us. Many felt a lot of freedom, sexual freedom was an option for many, and we tried to see the bad nights in that context. The author says it: I was no ingénue. In ways, I think we saw bad nights as just part of the price for our open interest in sex. At the same time, we were heeding the message to be brave and chart bold futures, go forward doggedly. </p>
<p>But now, now that our generation has grown up, looked back, re-evaluated- and the sexual climate has changed even more- I think we want to give our own daughters a different scenario than “oh, well.” </p>
<p>I’m not saying the pendulum has to swing the other way, nor that all unintended sex is assault. In fact, right now, I’m not going to comment on today’s gray, I’ll save it. But what I quoted sure resonated.</p>