<p>I only left first initial of last name- when i say it i will say last names.</p>
<pre><code> I would just like to start off by saying how special it is for me to be speaking here today. Because of certain circumstances, about three months ago my family and I moved to Arizona. So for me, being here means a lot.
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<p>I would now like to take this opportunity for saying thank you to Mr. G and Mr. G for their help in making all this possible and especially to Mrs. T for taking care of what I could not. So thank you, I really appreciate all of your help. And of course, I would like to thank my family and friends for all their support these past four years.</p>
<p>Also, thank you to the Class of 2009 for making high school a great experience. You guys are what made these past four years unforgettable. I won’t forget Homecoming, the pep rallies, or watching our Dragon sports teams, of course. But I also won’t forget the average day of school: sitting in class, hearing John L’s famous laugh, then playing computer games with Steven J. Or going to lunch and hearing all the crazy stuff Alex B and Kayla S would talk about, and hanging out with Heather P and Ashley G. Or making the yearbook with Ashley S, Marseda K, and Sara J or how the editors Ashlyn M and Monica G made the Yearbook better than it ever was. I definitely won’t forget the Student Congress Officers and the meetings we had. I could go on and on about all of the priceless memories, but we would be here forever.</p>
<p>Delmore Schwartz said that “Time is the fire in which we burn,” and while some may see this graduation as the flame of the Class of 2009 burning out, I see this graduation as the birth of a phoenix rising from the ashes and going on to bigger and better things.</p>
<p>I hope that all of you will cherish the last four years as I will, and also look forward to the years to come.
I truly wish the best for you in whatever you pursue in life.</p>
<p>And finally, as our pointy-eared Vulcan friend says “Live long and prosper.” Thank you and congratulations to the class of 2009.</p>
<p>The beginning is really vague, and somewhat repetitive. Try to figure out a way to thank these people for the specific things that they’ve done to help you throughout high school. Also, I’m not sure how things are at your school, but it seems really short. I’m not sure if you want to add some anecdotes for humor or simply to stretch out the speech (just listing a few people and activity names isn’t really enough). Try to combine the last sentence with the previous paragraph to make your last idea more cohesive and strong. Lastly, maybe mention your excitement for your future, talking about how you hope to take what you’ve learned and apply it in real life (avoiding that cliche). Good Luck!</p>
<p>“pointy-eared Vulcan” is redundant and I would change “birth of a phoenix rising from the ashes and going on to bigger and better things” to something else. The sentence has a good opening, I just think that the wording with the phoenix metaphor is weird. Also, get rid of “just” in “I would just like to start off”</p>
<p>i only made the beginning vague cuz i dont want to have a sob story or anything- but i understand the repeptitive part. </p>
<p>i dont really want to do a long speech because there are other speakers and from going to past years i know they will be incredibly long and boring</p>
<p>ill just keep vulcan and reword the phoenix thing</p>
<p>I am sorry, but this whole speech is just…your number one? You must be a math person, not an english person. Go speak to whoever the AP English teacher is at your school to review and edit this…I would just rewrite this entire thing…Your speech is not suppose to be about you but your entire class and the graduation…you just spoke about you pretty much and things you will remember…Try something like, “And none of us will ever forget…”</p>
<p>Basically…your speech focuses around you which is the wrong thing to do.</p>
<p>Use one anecdote rather than the list of random things.</p>
<p>Get rid of the phoenix reference and the quote, and don’t add in any poetry or other famous quotes (at our graduation, almost everyone who gave a speech had a poem or famous quote in it–very annoying and cheesy).</p>
<p>Not bad; I agree with everyone else’s comments.</p>
<p>Also, I would be careful about using specific names, especially your friends’. Other people may feel left out. Consider lengthening it a bit but make every word count. As you said, you don’t want to be up there forever. :)</p>
<p>It’s always best to flatter your classmates and make your speech about them; keep it positive and if you can-funny. Avoid focusing on just the “smart” kids or your particular clique.</p>
<p>Honestly, it sounds like you’re accepting an Academy Award or something. Try to make to speech more about the class as a whole, not just your experience at the school. A valedictorian speech should be something that every member of the graduating class can relate to to at least to some extent and thus enjoy.</p>
<p>jamesjr- 2nd in the class not first, but the #1 is just gonna say thanks… didnt really need the insult, either.
i was trying to get ppl to start thinking about their own memories and look forward- if that makes sense… and most if not all ppl will know what im talking about because it’s a very small class.</p>
<p>skp- yeah, i see that it’s extremely corny and ill get rid off it</p>
<p>rose39- as i said earlier its a very small class-like 140 kids maybe-and ive looked up other speeches and such and name dropping was recommended. now i dont know lol</p>
<p>cs12345- i dont know exactly what you mean, but okay lol</p>
<p>jamesford- i dont really know what else to write. honestly my class wasn’t exceptional, test scores went down drastically </p>
<p>b’smom- same as above, im not trying to be mean or anything but the only good thing my class did was the football season and i dont like the idea of mentioning only one thing.</p>
<p>i<em>was</em>here- i said thanks to the class- many of the things i mentioned about the students were widely known. </p>
<p>thanks for all of the responses, i appreciate it.</p>