My parents are divorced. One parent, my mother, the non-custodial one, has no income. They are living together though, don’t know if that changes anything. It is strange to me and I don’t understand it.
The financial situation is being managed tightly now. No gambling, no messing it up anymore. There is no instability in that right now. It is stable, in a certain way. From here on out, things will ONLY be improving on our end, unless its the IRS changing its mind on how much we have to pay them (but that’s kind of expected at this point).
Don’t think I would be allowed to go to Canada.
I don’t think I can find “some way to make it work,” to quote one (several?) of you loosely. That’s why I’m applying to 18 different schools, to see where I get lucky. Approx. 8 of those schools are likely to give me merit aid/are in my price range. I have 1 or 2 already that I know I can afford thanks to guaranteed merit aid. (The AES Distinction scholarship at UTD covers all tuition and mandatory fees as well as a $1000 stipend…and I would get to play a lot of chess and room with someone I know. I’m good with this option.) The other 10 are the more selective ones that may give me enough aid and are good to apply to in case something happens, but really who knows.
5)Finally, this thread, among other things, has really made me reconsider my thoughts on college. I’ve had a pretty unhappy existence at home thus far in my life, so I kept thinking that Vassar or another school of that type would make me a happier person for various reasons. However, I think I’ll be happy anywhere that I get to study what I am passionate about, and I’ll make it what I want to make it. Thank you.</p>
<p>Also, I’m pursuing more scholarships at Indiana and UTD. My friend goes to U of Rochester and told me that everyone he knows is on some merit aid, so maybe that will work. Kenyon too offers a lot of scholarships, and as you all probably know it has an incredible writing program. The English head there really liked me when we met. I have options guys, and I haven’t given up hope on even the loftiest of them. I just really didn’t like being admonished for my situation, which isn’t my fault. I also didn’t like the constant reproach of my parents, with whom I deeply sympathize but also disagree. On everything.</p>
<p>It sounds like you are moving forward and will have more than one good option when it comes time to choose, good for you!</p>
<p>I went to Vassar; it didn’t make me a happier person, in fact I left. We can talk about fit and prestige and stuff for eons but there is a relevant saying I’ll add here: Wherever you go, there you are.</p>
<p>*1) My parents are divorced. One parent, my mother, the non-custodial one, has no income. They are living together though, don’t know if that changes anything. It is strange to me and I don’t understand it. *</p>
<p>I don’t think the fact that they are divorced changes much since your custodial parent (your dad) is the one with the big income. </p>
<p>It sounds like your mom is living with your dad because they can’t afford to have her live elsewhere. Your dad would have to pay her spousal support, etc. </p>
<p>I misunderstood the situation. I thought that your dad was unaware of the financial issues until recently. I thought that your mom had caused some financial problems (gambling, taxes) and now your dad’s income has to pay the debt back. However, if they’re divorced, why would your dad be obligated to pay your mom’s debts??</p>
<p>mom2collegekids, both of my parents spent money frivolously for many years. My father expected my depressed mother to handle everything. She didn’t, and then was too scared to tell my dad because she thought he would leave her. This snowballed until fall of 2011, when she tried to kill herself so that her life insurance would cover the amount of debt we were in. She didn’t succeed, thankfully, and she has been getting better. Also, her gambling was a way of trying to get out of the financial situation i.e. striking it rich to pay the money before my dad found out. They got divorced early this year and my dad is left to pay the owed money to the IRS. Most of the money that we owe the IRS is from penalties etc., not actual money we didn’t pay them. So right now we’re in the stage of offer and compromise, waiting to hear back from the IRS. Ever since this went down, my dad has been very stingy with money (rightfully so) and has been controlling the financial situation tightly. He doesn’t even give my mother a paycheck (she works for him) and she has an allowance every week. I have a job to pay for any of the things that I want.</p>
<p>For all of these reasons, you really need to be in a situation where you aren’t dependent on them for college help. At some point, your dad may have to pay your mom spousal support. There may be an order already in place that he’s ignoring. If they were married for awhile and your dad has that kind of income, I can’t imagine that there wasn’t some kind of spousal support order.</p>
<p>anouilh - HI - just a question about your attempt at contacting schools for aid… I was surprised to hear such varying times that the schools wanted new info. I’d like to PM you, but I need to clean out my box to receive messages! Will try to do both tomorrow… Thanks!</p>
<p>IRS penalites will be removed if a doctor will certify that BOTH parent were mentally/emotionally–psychologically unable to have filed. I’ve dealt with a lot of these, and the penalities generally are removed. If they have a tax attorney on this, it can be taken care of. </p>
<p>I agree that OP needs to get something that will make her self sufficient during college because things are likely to be precarious with family.</p>
<p>This is the key and it sounds like you are handling a very difficult situation remarkably well.</p>
<p>College is the means to an end, not an end in itself. It’s four or so short years. The real end is the 50-70 years of the rest of your life. There are a lot of colleges that can help you, along with your own effort, to get to a satisfying life and concur with the others on choosing one that makes you the least financially dependent on others as possible.</p>
<p>If you haven’t already done so, make sure to apply for the McDermott program at UTD. This is an awesome scholarship that covers everything including transportation back and forth to home twice a year, and a stipend on top of all of your expenses being paid. I believe the deadline is early January so you still have time to apply.</p>
<p>Just a quick word of encouragement–my very bright, gift-writer daughter is at IU. She loves it and has found a lot of faculty support in her writing workshops, which are small and very good when you get to the upper levels. She also started out wanting a small liberal arts college but has found IU is a great school.</p>
<p>Just be sure if you choose IU, choose the dorms that fit your personality. In other words, unless you are a big partier, choose something outside NW neighborhood and choose honors dorms–you’ll meet many intellectual, fun, committed students that way. </p>
<p>If you have AP credits, you may not even have to take any huge classes. D only had a couple of those (math). </p>
<p>Bloomington is a vibrant town with something for everyone. Lots of arts/culture/music, lots of sports, great restaurants, etc. If IU is where you wind up, and it is affordable, you are in great shape.</p>
<p>PS–my D skipped most entry-level writing workshops by petitioning in with her portfolio. The entry level class was not bad, it was just below her level–she only took one entry-level course, then skipped to 300 & 400 level workshops which have been fabulous. Her other English courses have been very good to totally mind-blowing great. Foreign languages, if that is an interest, are also wonderful at IU. Hutton honors offers some excellent benefits, take advantage of those if you go (ie, you can apply for grants for study-abroad–that would get you out of Indiana!)</p>
<p>Being from Indiana, I’ve heard many wonderful things about IU. It’s definitely a serious option…I just applied for the SSA Scholarships. If I get something good out of there, then perhaps it will become even more of an option. And yeah, I’m applying for the McDermott and the Terry Scholarships at UTD. I’m a bit worried that UTD is more just math/sci though…really don’t know anything about their Literary Studies program. I’ve also heard the social life is a bit rough…which is the opposite of IU.</p>
<p>I’m PRETTY sure I’d qualify for a lot of merit money and the application is due Feb 1. I’m pretty sure that I didn’t miss the deadline for merit scholarships, but I can’t be sure. Here’s where I’m getting the info:</p>