Very Delicate Situation

<p>I am an incoming MM student at a top school (among/similar to: Colburn, Curtis, Juilliard, NEc, etc...). I also went there for UG. Great teacher, OK studio, don't like the city, suffocated by conservatory environment, free/full-scholarship. </p>

<p>My no.1 school for MM had 0 openings this year. They still let a small amount of people audition knowing the circumstances. I did and was put on the waitlist. I just unofficially got off because somebody just got a great professional opportunity and is leaving now. </p>

<p>I would love to go but current teacher doesn't seem to happy about it. They don't think it's fair at this point to leave a hole in the studio. Small world and love and respect them would not want to leave like this. But pretty unhappy at current school (teacher aside), excited for change and university environment. Also excellent, inspiring players at other school (major job wins every year), while I'm currently one of the older/better player in my studio which is already the best studio. Also, I just want to learn more and see what other teachers teach. But current teacher thinks I'm close to job win and should not 'change my game' now. I can't stress enough how much I love and respect current teacher even though I don't care for other aspects of the school and feel overall pretty depressed there aside from great lessons. Advice?</p>

<p>I thinking to maybe try to switch to shorter program at current school (1year diploma thing instead of MM) while deferring if possible other school (or reauditioning)? Not sure how to go about asking for this, and things not to do/say through this whole process.</p>

<p>That’s a tough one! Full scholarship/free tuition at the desired program?</p>

<p>Most people get that so I’d think. Wealthy school and they know I can’t afford to go otherwise. I guess I don’t know the other teacher as well, aside from summer thing but their studio and the school overall are producing job winners all the time, while current school seems to be producing some successful free-lancers, chamber musicians, teachers, subs, etc… but much much much less job winners.</p>

<p>I would check into the financial situation before proceeding with your decision. If by “job” you mean an orchestra job, and if an orchestra job is what you want for your career, then you should consider the new offer seriously. If you think you might want a more varied career, then consider staying. (I detect a hint of negativity about being a freelancer, chamber player, etc.) Not everyone wants an orchestra career.</p>

<p>It’s not negativity. I am on a student visa and cannot stat without an actual orchestral job from a major orchestra that can sponsor me. I honestly suspect money will be same or better. I have never ever heard of sonebody getting in but not getting their demonstrated beed met. So what do you think of doing one year diploma then going to the other school if they’ll have me still? Is it too late to switch degree programs most likely or do people do this? Or is there a good way to leave without making current teacher unhappy?</p>

<p>Sorry, trying to stay vague about instrument but it’s orchestral, there isn’t much else to do performance-wise aside from Broadway, other genres, maybe new music.</p>

<p>Have you been able to discuss it in detail with your teacher? I agree this is a very tricky situation. What does your current teacher mean when he or she says that you are “close to a job win”? I’m assuming you would be auditioning for a job. Does your teacher simply mean that you are at the proper caliber now to win a job or does he or she have some insider knowledge? On one hand you don’t want to throw away the incredible advantage of having a teacher who is supportive and kind to you. On the other hand it sounds as if you believe that your chances for a job are stronger if you move to the other school.</p>

<p>On Monday you should call the other school and find out what the financial situation would be for certain. And while you’re at it asked them if they would consider a deferral. I suspect that they will simply move to the next person on the list and the window they have closed. I don’t know what your instrument is but if it is one where there are rarely openings it could be risky not to accept the position latest offered. </p>

<p>And if you haven’t already you should try to get in touch with your current teacher to ask his or her opinion. And you should also call the office of your current conservatory and ask them what the procedure would be if you were to switch to a one year degree.</p>

<p>Then you will have a little more information to help you make your decision.</p>

<p>I had another thought which is that, reading between the lines, it sounds as if you feel unhappy in your current conservatory situation and then maybe you have outgrown it. Sometimes the best medicine is to get out of your comfort zone. It’s true that you have a teacher who is very supportive and seems to care about you and that the other teacher is an unknown quantity. But if you make the leap now you will still have two years in the US before you need to either find a full-time job or enroll in a different study program. If you take choose the new school you will have any landscape, new experiences, the new connections that you cannot even imagine.</p>

<p>Whatever you decide, you are in an enviable situation. Best of luck!</p>

<p>Thanks a lot! We had a 5 min phone call when they said they were against it/not happy that I’m in this position or that things are made to move so late in the game and that they can’t fill my spot if I leave. By ‘close’ they mean that earlier this year I ran up for a principal chair with a regional orchestra and advanced to the semis of a big national thing. I personally think there’s a lot I need to figure out still. There are a couple major auditions this fall that I’ll take. The other school has an established record of getting people jobs or NWF. In my 4 years at the school I’m due to enroll at only one person won a job (studiomate, small national orchestra, has been unsuccessfully trying to get smth better). The others quit to do other things, are still auditioning post MM or took teaching jobs at small schools or are making rent through freelance/private studio, etc… I don’t have the same amount of flexibility because of citizenship status and work authorization issues as I said. I only have 2 years to get a job (very different style back home so no shot and burned a big bridge by leaving home country top teacher to come to the US). So this decision feels like more of a life gamble than just weighting out two different schools.</p>

<p>It sounds as if your teacher is more concerned about his or her studio situation and about your career. How powerful is this person and could he or she potentially have a hand in blackballing you during your job search? If that is not a factor then the opportunity to change schools seems even more felicitous this time. One thing to consider is that whereas your teacher is one of only one to you, you are one of many to the teacher. That is true even if you are the top student in his or her studio. If you decide to leave in the school is most likely going to the waitlist and the studio slot will be filled.</p>

<p>Another thought (I am out walking my dogs and I just keep thinking about your situation): I know it’s hard to contact people during the summer, but have you reached out to any alumni of your teacher studio or current students on your level for an opinion? Has anyone been in a similar situation and faced his/her reaction? </p>

<p>Don’t make the mistake that many people (especially women) do in a career decision, which is to place another person’s convenience and comfort over your own best interests. </p>

<p>Well, it’s Sunday and most of the other post-ers are probably out enjoying the day. But perhaps some more will weigh in.</p>

<p>I’m not really sure whether or not it would be bad down the line. My teacher has been fairly generous to me I think, and concerned about me as a person, securing me a free spot at their prestigious summer festival when I wanted to go and generally very supportive with auditions, etc… The nature of job auditions is such (blind screen) that I don’t feel like they would try to make it hard for me. I would just hate to make them feel disrespected when I have nothing but admiration, trust and respect for them. I guess I don’t think they are aware of my concerns regarding needing a job rapidly or not being very happy at the current conservatory. It all would seem like excuses now I suppose. </p>

<p>Edit: yes, I talked to a friend/alumn who dropped out at the end if their 5th year in the studio rather than finish the MM. They were amongst the best and most polished players I have ever heard but they must have burnt out or smth and decided to quit altogether. They said the teacher has simply avoided subsequent contact, which they didn’t know whether it was out of resentment or because they didn’t particularly care to deal with them now.</p>

<p>Have you talked with your current teacher at length about this yet?</p>

<p>No just like 5 min phone call. They mostly talked and thought I need to stay in the studio. Do you have any suggestions as far as talking to them about it goes?</p>

<p>You need to get in touch with your current teacher and make sure that he/she really hears your concerns. I understand that you’re trying to be kind and to not ruffle feathers but it’s your life that you are planning and it’s very important that you do everything possible to make sure that you have every door open. Do as glassharmonica says and check on the financial aspects of the offer at the new school and then, if it’s still a viable option for you, make an appointment to talk to your current teacher in person if possible, or ask for a block of time to talk on the phone. Make a list of what you need to say so that you don’t get sidetracked, make sure that your teacher knows that you are very grateful for all that’s been done but that you feel that the time has come for you to gain perspective from another angle before heading out to the big auditions. You mean no disrespect and a teacher who has your best interests at heart should know that.
Wishing you the very best!</p>

<p>AloeV good luck navigating this tricky situation. I don’t have any wisdom to offer beyond what others have contributed, except the observation that at least in other disciplines, its actually more common for an UG to attend a different school for graduate work. This is encouraged for exactly the reasons you’ve posited in terms of growth and variety and to avoid an insular experience.</p>

<p>As such, I find it curious that your present school seems focused on its convenience in terms of its studio as opposed to your development at large. If all things are equal, go with your gut :)</p>

<p>I agree with Glassharmonica. It sounds like your current teacher is looking after his/her own interests. This is something you need to decide on your own. If you were talking about 2 different employers, you wouldn’t discuss a new offer with your current boss. I don’t think this is much different. Your teacher’s loyalty is to your school and keeping students there, so I would look at anything s/he has to say through that lens. As a woman, I want to caution you about the difference between making wise career moves and “disrespecting” your boss. If you’ve done the job you were there to do to the best of your ability, you’ve shown respect. Taking advantage of a better opportunity isn’t disrespectful. For a boss or teacher to hold back someone else’s career for their own benefit is disrespectful, yet it happens to women all the time. This is business. It has nothing to do with anything else. Good luck. Please let us know what happens.</p>

<p>I agree with what MM says, but I also know that some teachers are easier to talk to than others. We can all imagine a scenario in which a teacher’s ego or myopic sensibilities will prevent him or her from being able to hear the student’s concern. </p>

<p>That aside, I wonder if the teacher has any sense of the pressure Aloe is under, worrying about his/her visa. Some lessons are “all business”, and that can go on for years with the teacher knowing the student thoroughly in a musical sense, but not at all as a person. If this is true, then Aloe may be able to make his/her situation clear. It’s possible the teacher may have some insights or solutions. </p>

<p>Thanks a lot. You guys are right, I should check the finances then talk to them further. No, indeed I have not been too forthcoming about my concerns. I think sometimes it’s hard to quieter people to successful share such personnal thoughts and be understood. I think making a list will help a lot, thanks for the suggestion. We are at different festivals so it has to be phone call.</p>

<p>I do think of my teacher as a kind and fair person. A few people felt like sharing studios, taking time off, or applying to transfer, and were ‘allowed’ to without issues. I wasn’t allowed to share for the MM when I brought it up, because current teacher thought continuity was crucial then too. Perhaps I misunderstand the situation, but I feel like when they felt people should move on, they let them mostly.</p>