very frustrating

<p>Hi all,</p>

<p>I posted something similar in the college life forum but i thought i'd post in the engineering one as well. </p>

<p>I'm a super hard working student who has done fairly well so far. Lately i've been competing with people who just seem to have it all. Better grades, a girlfriend / boyfriend, better internships. The worst part is that they can do it all with less effort.</p>

<p>Its just very frustrating for me to compete with these people. I know people are probably gonna say, its not about comparing myself to others but its just hitting me harder right now than usual. I'm not sure why. </p>

<p>It just really bothers me that these genuises out there can put in so little effort yet end up better than me in many ways :(</p>

<p>anyone with similar experiences? I'd love to hear them.</p>

<p>I feel this way many times during the school year. You can't let this ruin the show, however. Try to focus on things you're good at and concentrate on those. And remember that there's always someone out there who's better than you. Also, some of these supposed "geniuses" may have certain advantages over you. For instance, some foreign students are far ahead of the game because of the extremely competitive and tough environment they're used to. Similarly, some people have had an overall more intensive K-12 education that has helped them with basics such as studying skills, test taking skills, time management, and workload management skills.</p>

<p>If you find a weakness within you, work hard to correct it... if you keep at it, some day you will be far ahead of everyone else. Its just much easier said than done.</p>

<p>Yep it happens, but you cannot compare yourself to the top percentile if you feel they are smarter than you.
If when studying new concepts you understand them as quick as them, then you can compete with them.
But the world is not fair, and some people do get a genetic gift of intelligence.</p>

<p>@thermo1,</p>

<p>What you're experiencing is fairly common - see How</a> do you study? How fast do you process info?</p>

<p>Some people get around this by focusing on something they do really well (and enjoy very much) and make it their career specialty. Others pick an professional area that's not getting much attention but for which there is a need.</p>

<p>That's life? There's always someone better than you.</p>

<p>Yes, there is always going to be someone smarter than you, etc. but those people have issues to deal with as well. Don't think that their lives are perfect just because of what you see.</p>

<p>Good point AL</p>

<p>It is really tough not to get jealous of others people successes, but don't let that get at you and just focus on your own. I have seen people let it eat them so much that they end up quiting out of fustration, doing something really stupid, or burn themselves out. </p>

<p>One guy I know was extremely jealous of this VP at work. This guy was about the same age as we were but graduated top of his class at Stanford MBA having gone straight through from BS through MS in engineering. My friend never talked to this guy and felt that the only thing separating him from the top office with the limo was a MBA. So, my friend jumped at the first MBA program that offered him admittance; University of Pheonix. Regardless to say he regrets this decision. </p>

<p>On top of it all, I spoke with the VP and found him to be very smart and very receptive to anything I, a lowly engineer, had to offer. He expressed he was jealous of us in engineering because we got to do the real work, the work he initially went to school for. Not that he regretted his career path, because it paid very well. However, it also put him in the targets of a lot of older VPs and execs, someone as young as he was surely had faults. He was constantly wondering if he had gone another path he may of felt more secure with his position, have less anxiety, and would be able to work less and have more fun with life. Also, the limo turned out to be another anxiety issue; he was scared to drive in the bay area.</p>

<p>Thus, a very successful person in the eyes of my friend had issues I doubt my friend would acquire for that success. My advice would be to try and be less jealous and more admirable, this will win you more friends, greater appreciation for life and your challenges (which they share), and in the end greater success. Additionally, don't think because they seem to have so much going for them that there isn't something that is not, and this could very well be something you take for granted. Finally, if you do find that one shinning example in the whole world that has it all together make him friend because that is Jesus, risen again!</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Study habits. All colleges have offices that can help students with this. They are not just for people who are failing. Use them. May help.</p></li>
<li><p>Course loads. If you are engineering you cannot compare your life to that of the English majors.</p></li>
<li><p>Underlying "ability" and how it matches the course requirements. Some people are just better at this student thing than others. Do your best, use the resources available to you (see 1, above), and get on with your life.</p></li>
<li><p>Illusion. In college I knew people who always seemed to be floating above the stress. Doing fine in their courses, having social lives, etc. Come graduation I was surprised to discover that I , and many of my fellow suffers, had better credentials than did those who gave the impression of doing so well. Years later I also find that the air of ease some of them gave off did not translate into more career success. My greatest example is a person who was my unattainable ideal in college. Great grades (or so I thought) fascinating extracurriculars, usually the center of attention in social situations. Headed for stardom. Now guess what? We ended up on the faculty at the same medical school, and I outrank my former idol, by a lot. Don't pay too much attention to what you think is going on among your colleagues. </p></li>
</ol>

<p>If you have an acquaintance who is really choosing between the Rhodes, the Marshall, and that first round draft pick, well good for them. Life goes on.</p>