I just moved in to school a day ago, I’m here a week early because I’m helping with welcome week. My roommates won’t be here for another 5 days so I’m currently living in a quint by myself. I’m not sure why but I feel horribly homesick, last year my parents were about 20 minutes away but they moved and are now about 3 hours away. I haven’t been able to sleep much at all and I just feel uneasy and keep crying. I haven’t told my parents and held back tears saying bye, I don’t want them to know I’m struggling with this because I know how proud they are that I seem totally fine with being far away.
Luckily my boyfriend goes to school about 30 minutes away so he’s around if I need him, but it just isn’t the same.
I’ve had pretty severe anxiety all my life and
never had a lot of experience being away from home/my parents because it would make me so anxious (and still does). My parents both work so it’s not like they’d be readily available at any time to drive 3 hours here to get me/see me. 3 hours seems like such a long time to me, especially when I’m panicking or don’t feel well. I just get scared that something bad will happen to me and they won’t be around, like getting really sick or injured or having a nervous breakdown or something. It’s not like they’re around the corner anymore. For the past few days I’ve had an upset stomach too just from being nervous/upset. I’m really hoping it wears off. I was able to stay up here all of July for a job I have here , and my parents were 3 hours away by that point but it didn’t bother me because it was only a month and less pressure than a whole school year. Last year when I didn’t feel well I could just go home for a few hours or a weekend but I can’t do that anymore.
I think my biggest fear is letting myself get so anxious or overwhelmed that I’m totally miserable and decide to go home. I have a 4.0 at this school and I’m super involved plus I was in love with the area/school last year so I don’t see how anything could’ve changed. I’m scared of breaking down during the semester and having to leave (my parents would lose so much money, between books tuition and all of the dorm stuff I’ve bought). I don’t want to let them down, my friends down, my boyfriend down, or even myself down.
When I think about being away for this whole year I feel so panicked.
I feel like this forum would be a really good place to seek advice. Thanks so much in advance
I had almost exactly the same experience at the beginning of my junior year, when I had to move in a few days early because my parents had to be back at work for the start of their school year. I was going to be living with my boyfriend and three other students when he arrived. I think it is often the fact of being alone in a big space without much to do that triggers these really severe bouts of homesickness. I held it together while unpacking and getting everything set up, but started to feel so anxious in the afternoons that I would call my parents in tears, saying horrible, scary things (for instance, that I wasn’t sure I loved my boyfriend of now nearly 3 years, for no reason) that I wasn’t sure I meant, but that felt super immediate and real.
As soon as my boyfriend arrived, I started to feel much better, although it took a couple of days once he was there for me to really feel content again. One major piece of advice I’d have for someone feeling this way is to get outside, and do things–especially with other people whom you like. Knowing there are people that like you and think you are doing awesome is an amazing feeling and will absolutely help you recover. When I feel like this it’s easy to think that this is how I’m going to feel for the rest of my life, but also remember that these feelings will pass and you’re still the same good student, daughter (?), and friend that you were before you started having these feelings.
Editing to add: If you still feel like this after a couple of weeks of classes, don’t be afraid to seek help from your school’s counseling center.
@GoatGirl19 Wow, that’s so similar to how I feel right now!! I was kind of questioning the same with my boyfriend of four years but I know it’s just the anxiety talking and that I don’t actually feel the way my mind is telling me I do. I haven’t cried to my parents yet but I know it’s probably coming soon, lol. I’m going to try to keep myself as busy as possible between now and the time everyone moves in so fingers crossed I’ll hopefully start to feel better. It’s really an awful feeling isn’t it?? Because I know how ridiculous/irrational I’m being but that doesn’t help me feel any better
@bopper That’s true! It’s like a weird in between phase and I’m not a huge fan of it. I’m not sure if counseling services are open full-time yet as there’s very few students on campus since it’s early but I might call over later and see if they have any availability
Can you skype or FaceTime your parents? A few minutes every day if necessary could help. It’s not like you’re new at this. Probably just need something to get thru the limbo time. Good luck.
