Visitation process question

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
1

<p>Starting the visit process with my daughter.</p>

<p>(I had previously said she was a 'he'- wanting anonymity and fearing people would know me- but clearly that is not a problem, nor do i particularly care now that I am more clear that this is a good direction of education to explore for her- phew, got that out of the way...) </p>

<p>Because of our schedules, we had to put the school she is most interested in first in the line-up of schools we are visiting. I imagine, at 13 1/2, she barely knows how to talk about herself, although her comfort level with adults is quite high. Something about rehearsing interviews with her gives me the willies although I am sure a modicum of practice would serve her well.<br>
Any advice?<br>
I really want them to get a sense of who she is so I hesitate to talk with her about 'how' she should talk with AO's. A) because I have no idea and B) because she is a cool, unique kid (aren't they all?) and it would benefit her if she just showed up not feeling like/sounding like she was coached. But not talking with her before this really important FIRST interview I fear would not serve her well.</p>

2

<p>freshlook: We did this a year ago, and I felt exactly as you do. My D refused my coaching help, she said that she just wanted to be herself, and that coaching felt phony to her. Her reasoning was “If they don’t like the real me, then I don’t belong there.” Of course, I was concerned – but I did give her a list of the commonly asked questions – there are CC threads on this topic – and she came up with her own responses. Just having an idea of what she is likely to be asked will be very helpful. I think that in many cases, trying to remember rehearsed responses to questions makes it awfully difficult to really engage in a conversation with the AO. (My d proved she was right – she was accepted to nearly every school she applied to, even one ‘reach’ that really surprised me-- and just about every AO made a point of telling me how much they had enjoyed talking with her. If she is comfortable interacting with adults, she will likely do just fine. Best of luck to you as you start this adventure!</p>

3

<p>Use your parent network to locate a college prep counselor who would (for a fee) simulate an admissions interview with your d.
College prep counselors are often guidance counselors from local high schools that have made the transition to private clients helping them with college applications, essays, school selections.
They have the experience to know what kinds of questions are asked in admissions interviews, guide the conversation to get your d to talk about herself and can evaluate your d’s session, not necessarily coach her.</p>

4

<p>We did zero coaching. Our preparation consisted of discussing likely questions and of telling her they would absolutely ask her if SHE had questions. Told her to come up with at least 3 questions from which to choose if so asked. She asked questions that showed she really had thought about the details of living away from home - vs. more about academics etc. I would not have thought of those questions so they (in my opinion) sounded authentic and “un coached”. No idea if that is the best approach but it worked for her. Good luck.</p>

5

<p>Agreed that coaching is not on the table.<br>
I was thinking more on the lines of her ‘journalling’ (no need for her to share it with anybody) a little about why she wants to go to boarding school, or what her favorite book is, or who her favorite teacher is ect might just allow these things to bubble up to the service so she can access them easier. Maybe I am thinking more about my aging brain and not hers!!!</p>

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<p>You can find a lot of possible interview questions on some school websites as well as cc threads. My D and I practiced a fair bit, but it was nothing I forced on her. We made flashcards with possible questions and every once in a while she’d have me ask her one. This could be done silently if your D prefers not to actually role play. She can do the whole thing herself if she prefers. It was a fun bonding activity for us. Also, you’re going to get interviewed too (people differ on how in depth the parent interviews are but mine were pretty in depth, not just “Do you have any questions Ms. D?”) so you will benefit from the preparation process.</p>

<p>Our goal was never to memorize any answers, just to become comfortable with the process and have some brain fodder readily available. </p>

<p>My D was using “like” a lot in those days so we did work on that (as in “I was like going to see like my best friend who is like really smart and we like have been friends for like five years…”)</p>

<p>We also made flashcards for memorizing a few facts about each school, to help keep them straight ahead of time and during visits. We focused on what made each school stand out in the selection process and attracted D–private art studios, classes in certain fields that aren’t found at many schools, etc.</p>

<p>I look at it like a job interview. If I have an interview coming up, I always look over some possible questions and beef up on answers that are not instantaneous or are always changing–what’s a team effort you were on, what was your part, tell about a difficult situation with a customer or coworker, how would your friends describe you, what is your greatest weakness, etc. I don’t memorize, I just don’t want to draw a complete blank when asked! It’s not age, it can just be nervousness or just that it’s topics you don’t normally sit around thinking about.</p>

<p>You will definitely find two schools of thought on interview prep–practice makes perfect and let it be completely natural. I think it’s not black and white. Take the advice that works for you and D.</p>

7

<p>We didn’t practice with our son, but we did sit down ahead of time and talk through some of the things that make him unique, his particular interests, etc. Then I gave him some examples of how he could try to work those things in to a conversation. For instance, he’s very interested in WWII history and reads a lot of adult-level non-fiction history books. So he understood that if he was asked, for instance, “what’s your favorite book,” he could say “Eragon” but a better answer would be “Well, my favorite book might be Eragon, but I just read this really interesting book about D-Day in Normandy, and here’s why I found it interesting…” This is basically the same skill they need to master for writing their essays (both on the school applications and in the SSAT), so it’s time well spent figuring out what things your child should highlight and then at least talking through (if not actually practicing) how to work them in.</p>

8

<p>Based on our experience, some prep/coaching makes sense. From this site (do a search) or other places on the net, you can get commonly asked questions, for which the applicant should have some formulated thoughts. We used an educational consultant who had, for 4 of the 5 schools our D applied to, questions commonly asked by that school. Very Helpful. He also did, on two separate days, full 30 minute mock interviews that he videotaped. After the interview, he had my wife and me come into the room and he did a full analysis (with our daughter) of the body language, eye contact, tone, energy, etc., as well as how to better frame the answers. The videotape was probably the most helpful and I would recommend using it to train.</p>

9

<p>Freshlook, </p>

<p>Your concern is very valid and I think you are handling it very nicely. OPs would usually know if the student is coached by adults. Just let your daughter be herself. Kids at that age can actually handle things much better than parents may think. </p>

<p>You can however ask her to have a look at the general interview questions. Tell her there is no right (or wrong) answers. Also, an interview is two-way process in which students can ask about the schools. </p>

<p>She will just do it beautifully.</p>

10

<p>In my previous posting, OPs should be corrected to AOs.</p>

11

<p>We didnt practice but we did review the mission statements, special programs etc in the car on the way to each interview so dc could answer the one question every school asked - Why do you want to come here? and so dc could highlight how well she fit at an individual school. Also remind your child that the student tour guide is also evaluating them! Most student guides fill out post tour forms for admissions.</p>

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<p>Freshlook, You have the right idea. Do not over think the process, encourage your daughter to be herself so that she finds the right school. There is nothing wrong with giving her a list a potential questions so she can think about her answers ahead of the interview. We are not a boarding school family and we got into the process in October of 2012. We did our interview locally and never stepped foot into the admissions office. My son was accepted into the 2017 class at Andover. All of his scores were not in the 94th percentile, his grades we straight A’s, he plays sports, and he is very independent. Grades and scores are only one piece of the admission puzzle. I would also recommend staying away from college confidential until you know where you are going. There are many obsessive people who frequent this board and offer advice freely when in fact no one on this site has any power over the admission process. We prayed as we went through the process and I know that he is going to the right school. Good Luck.</p>

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<p>One thing I would practice is a firm handshake.</p>

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<p>a firm handshake and lots of eye contact.</p>

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<p>I think practice helps, because kids are socialized not to stand out, be “prideful, conceited” or toot their own horn in our school system. My daughter initially felt that answering the common question “Why should we take YOU and not the # others applying to the same spot?” was hopelessly embarassing. Plus the first interview tends to provoke panic. </p>

<p>I think spending time helping your D see her unique strengths would be very helpful, like “I love writing and can contribute to the …newspaper and the …literary magazine, and hope to possibly study with Mr. … whose book… I read and enjoyed.” Or pick math, science, languages, arts, athletics. Just pick something! Things that will make her stand out as a good match for the school. She will usually have about 2 minutes to do this. This theme should also be woven into as many essays and short answers as you can. Takes some research. KNOW THE SCHOOL, specific courses maybe, things it sees itself as strong in. Mentioning that she is aware of specific school offerings and strengths shows she is genuinely interested and has read the web site and glossy book carefully. </p>

<p>Not “I think BSchool would be good for me because I need motivation, and it might be fun”, this answer is way too general, and they are asking what unique talents she will bring.</p>

<p>Other very common questions, "Discuss interesting book (check out Outliers), challenge you have faced outside of school, where you want to be in 10 years, and the scary “do you have any other questions?” Instead of asking about the food, a good one for that is “How would you advise a new student to be successful here?” </p>

<p>Do not complain about current school (you will be labelled a compainer even if accurate). If there was a goof up in your prior behavior, you may need to discuss, but do so in a straightforward way, accept full personal responsibility (do not blame others in any way), and explain what you learned from the mishap. </p>

<p>Dress conservatively. Maybe a little fancier than you think you should (my D wore a skirt, flat shoes, blouse and jacket). Arrive with lots of time to spare, getting into parking problems or lost happens, give yourself extra time to arrive relaxed. </p>

<p>Parents be pretty much invisible. They are just checking you are not intolerable.</p>

16

<p>@freshlook,
I am bemused by the term “visitation” in this thread’s title, instead of “visit”. </p>

<p>“Visitation” is usually reserved for prisons ;)</p>

17

<p>… or monasteries! :)</p>

18

<p>I keep thinking of “illegal v’s” at Exeter…you can guess.</p>

19

<p>mmm… interesting slip on my part, I suppose… I think I was trying for the more grammatically correct phrase… mmm…</p>