<p>Hello, this is my first post on CC so forgive me on anything I do that's out of protocol. Since I was young I've always somewhat resented my parents and been "on my own". When I say this I don't mean financially or anything but I mean that I have always formed my own opinions and my parents have had little influence on me. My parents are loving and kind as well as the ones footing the bill for my education so you could say that I do owe them much. I'm excited to be on my own as I can finally start new and created a minimalist relationship with my parents so that I can eventually completely shut them out of my life. My question is, do I really have to visit them for holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas? I would prefer not to.</p>
<p>So they’re loving parents who are footing the bill, and you can’t wait to completely shut them out of your life? Wow. You’re going to have a long road ahead of you.</p>
<p>Go visit them - the dorms will be ghost towns during those holidays as everybody else will visit their families.</p>
<p>I don’t get it. Do you hate them? Have they done something wrong/are they annoying? I plan to shut my mom out of my life, but she’s honestly a good-for-nothing brute. If they haven’t done anything wrong and there is no visible tension I don’t know why you would want to ungratefully thrust them to the side like that. :</p>
<p>What?! Why would you want to shut out kind and loving parents?</p>
<p>I’m hoping ■■■■■…</p>
<p>To answer your question, you don’t have to visit them unless your dorm has rules regarding staying for holidays. For instance, my school requires that anyone in the dorms have to vacate for winter break. Even then, I suppose if you really didn’t want to go back home for whatever reason you could go to a friend’s for that time or something.</p>
<p>However, I would suggest not sticking around the dorms during holidays, because as kiddie said above there’s nobody there during those times. Also, you may feel that way about your parents now, but by the time Thanksgiving and Christmas roll around you may feel differently after not living with them for a while.</p>
<p>OP you have a lot of life ahead of you. If there’s no particular reason to cut parents out of your life, then I suggest you don’t make any rash decisions. It’s amazing how parents seem much more wise when we are in our 30s than they did when we were in college…</p>
<p>I share a near opinion to your. But I would actually enjoy going home for a few days to not just my parents but several family members and friends as well. I felt the same way you did about several months ago but then I’m like “hey there is nothing else to do at that time”.
I am planning not to come back during spring break because that is more of a go-on-vacation-for-real time</p>
<p>No, you don’t have to continue associating with your parents.</p>
<p>But I wouldn’t expect them to keep footing the bill for your education if you treat them like they don’t exist. Besides, they’re kind and loving and you want nothing to do with them? It sounds like you have an attitude problem and probably need to get over yourself. </p>
<p>Try to have a good relationship with your parents- they’re two of the most important people in your life and are more necessary than you think.</p>
<p>Trust me, once you get through 15 weeks of school, you will definitely want to go home to your parents.</p>
<p>You will definitely miss stability once you move out of the nest.</p>
<p>And I am not sure how your parents raised but unless they have done something to you, why in the world would you want to cut “kind and loving parents” out of your life? Don’t you love them as well?</p>
<p>So…you don’t want to go home even though it would make your parents happy… And they should just keep forking over the cash so that you can afford not to have to see them?</p>
<p>OP, you have some serious issues. I could see you resenting your parents if they treated you like crap, or abused you. But you stated that your parents are “kind and loving”. Why on earth would you want to kick them out of your life? One day you’ll need your parents and how would you feel if you couldn’t go to them because you told them to leave you alone forever? Don’t make a dumb decision.</p>
<p>New poster, who has logged on again presumably to look at responses, but not posted again. Hmm…</p>
<p>It’s most likely that he saw the responses that were all against him and did not get the answer he wanted to hear.</p>
<p>I know sometime I hesitate to respond to a disagreement with my ideas.</p>
<p>So, I sympathize with the Op and I’m actually going to take his/her side, esp since everyone is being so rude (looking at you MaineLonghorn). </p>
<p>I understand the feeling of not wanting to go back to parents. Obviously you don’t want to talk about your real reasons why you don’t want to go, and you also hear the side of your parents which is why you call them “loving.” You don’t want to feel like a spoiled brat for not giving them credit for the help they have gave you.</p>
<p>I have had the same thoughts and concerns. No matter how much I plan to not go back to them, I have to be realistic, I’m going to have to go back. Cutting parents off isn’t something you can do something really quickly and suddenly, esp if they are still helping you out money wise. It is a slow process and probably won’t take complete effect until after you graduate. Just wait and see.</p>
<p>I have a very close friend who cut herself off from her parents for very legitimate reasons. My grandmother cut off contact to her sons for stupid reasons and I’ve never known her because she wants nothing to do with us.</p>
<p>Unless there is abuse, neglect, etc I think it’s incredibly selfish to cut parents out of your life especially after you’ve leached tens of thousands of dollars for your education off them. </p>
<p>Don’t care if I’m rude. </p>
<p>If you want to cut them out at least grow up and pay for your own education.</p>
<p>^Agree with romani 100%. It seems VERY ungrateful to me, also. If you want the freedom of being a big boy or girl, you have to pay for it.</p>
<p>“Mom, I don’t want to see you. Oh, yeah, and when will you be sending me the tuition check?” Do you see how rude THAT is??</p>
<p>ML–actually, it’s even ruder !!! “Mom, I’m done with the semester, but I don’t want to come home for winter break so please make a big deposit to my checking account so I can afford to not come home…”</p>
<p>Lol well I do agree that it is completely ridiculous for the OP to do it this year, next year it is actually possible. We don’t know the situation of OP. I was just trying to give him/her the benefit of doubt (or however that expression goes)</p>
<p>But isn’t it really the student choice rather he/she choose to not visit parent(s) regardless of all they done for him/her.
I mean I’m sure there will be communication going on (I hope there will be for OP) but I don’t see the real point of visiting if I’m just going back for the holiday. If I went back for a birthday or wedding, it would be more meaningful imo because you took more effort instead of using the excuse of “no one here during Thanksgiving/Christmas”. But yeah I wouldn’t come home for thanksgiving if I didn’t want to change up my wardrobe for the winter and I wouldn’t come home for the holidays if the finals are weeks before and the area become a ghost town with snow adding to the creepiness (that experience would be awesome for me lol).</p>