Visiting Schools: Advice Please!

Parents Forum
1

<p>Our kids are in 8th, 9th and 10th...so we have some time yet.
However, when going on vacation this years we are considering just doing some quick drive thrus/walk arounds of schools. This is mainly for the oldest. We have done this in the past simply because, honestly, a college place was a GREAT place to stop when the kids were little because there was plenty of room for the kids to run around, restrooms to use and cheap cafeteria lunches on site!</p>

<p>However, now the reason would be for them to get SOME idea of what size of campus they might be interested in (again, the oldest mainly) and in what area of the country. So my questions are:</p>

<ol>
<li>Is sophomore year to young to do surface level visits?</li>
<li>If not, what she we have them keep and eye out for other than the types of kids around, the 'feel' and location of the school and the distance from home?</li>
</ol>

<p>Like all, our kids are VERY different . Oldest very strong student getting recruitment stuff after PSAT and summer gifted programs, loves challenges, action and big urban feel; middle child fair to poor student, laid back, people person, no desire to push himself,president of his school's debate club and VERY good at it; youngest son shy, quiet and works incredibly hard to get average grades, hard working kid in and out of school). I am thinking they will not have the desire or needs to be at the same schools or even similar ones...though again, we do have a ways to go.</p>

<p>Advice? Too soon? Too much pressure (though not intended)? Good timing?
T</p>

2

<p>If you live in/near any colleges, the initial goal of checking out urban/rural/large U/small LAC should, IMO be started that way, without dragging the younger ones with you. If you plan a trip, make it a family vacation and a college visit trip. When we started the college tours with older s (spring break 10th grade), younger s was only in 6th grade, and the last thing he wanted was to be dragged around many college campuses, sit in on info sessions, etc. He did tolerate some of that, but for the mostpart we coordinated the college tours around other fun things (winter- skiing and snowboarding) so we could have some family vacation time and also pair off- one parent doing the college tour, the other hitting the slopes or whatever local fun thing thre was to do with younger son. </p>

<p>What I do recommend is to check out the schools in the harsh weather. We did the NE in the dead of winter and southern CA, the SE and TX in the heat of summer. That is an important thing to know if your child minds the temp differences. It is not always going to be beautiful, sunny and in the 60-70’s on campus. Older s discovered he didnt care about the temp/weather conditions. Younger s discovered, while being dragged along, that he did NOT want to go to college in the cold. </p>

<p>Have fun</p>

3

<p>Very helpful advice. Thank you. The goal right now is not to do formal visits but to ‘stop in’ at various schools while already on vacation. For instance, when we head to Atlanta we may see Emory and Georgia Tech while in town to go to the Cola Cola place and Aquarium or to Visit William and Mary and drive to UVA while in Williamsburg to go to Colonial Williamsburg and Busch Gardens, etc.</p>

<p>Now I am wondering, however, should we schedule formal tours for the oldest or can we start with just roaming the schools a bit as a family? Ours are so close in age that I want to take advantage of that without buring out the 8th and 9th grader.</p>

<p>Taben</p>

4

<p>If it were me, especially if I was travelling far and it isnt easy to get back, and especially if I was visiting a school that is big on “demonstrated interest”, I’d sign up for a tour or info session at some of them, not just walk on campus and chat with students. That is good to do, it just may not be enough for your oldest to get a good feel. He/she sounds like a strong/motivated student and might like more info and an opportunity to really check out a few schools. It isnt too early for her/him. What does he/she want to do? If the younger ones are not likely to be considering the same schools and may not have the interest/patience to sit though info sessions, they can do the tour, and there are also cool things on many of the college campuses. For example, when you are at Emory, take the younger ones to see the mummys at the Carlos museum! Then go check out the fitness center, the college bookstore and the cafeteria (or the snack area at the Carlos museum). Go walk past the CDCP (CDC) and the medical centers. Lots of cool stuff to see.</p>

5

<p>I think a quick drive through or a casual walk through is the most appropriate at your kids ages. If you start on the formal tours this early you really will burn out your kids. Colleges really don’t have the personnel to handle family tours where the oldest child is not even a junior.</p>

6

<p>Here is an old, but very helpful thread about this very topic from several years ago. <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/35770-incentives-younger-sibling-college-visits.html?[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/35770-incentives-younger-sibling-college-visits.html?&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Also, In reflecting back, I believe I misspoke. I believe we did the first round of college tours with older s spring break of JUNIOR year, not sophomore year, so younger s would have been in 7th gr. Apologies. But that said, I agree with kathiep. Don’t burn them out. Just be clear on what your goal is. After a while they all start to blend in your head, and your oldest may not remember much about the schools he/she walked through.</p>

7

<p>We started visiting colleges for the oldest in her Soph year, in spring. It was a nearby school & we figured it would be a good way to start learning the college-visit ropes, whether or not it was really a good choice for her. By nearby I mean abt 30 min drive. I’m glad we began when we did with her, because it meant we were not cramming them in later when there are all the SATs & other things going on! It only took an afternoon & we did two schools that day (both right next to each other, and as we realized that day, neither suitable for her–but she learned that early on & she also learned something about discerning the feel of a place)</p>

<p>We started much earlier for the last one, the third. We just would include a casual visit to a school while we were in that town, do the tour & eat in their caf. Or sit on the lawn and watch the students going by while we ate picnic lunch. We did that with Gettysburg, because we were there. She was in 8th grade. Also with Wm & Mary, because we were vacationing there. I think she was about to enter into 9th grade for that one. We sat in the info sessions for both of them & I am glad we did. The AO staffs were able to get the message thru that studying & getting your best grades really do matter to them, while coming from us it was–well, coming from us!</p>

<p>It turned out that neither of those schools was going to be a good choice for her either, but the message about grades & highest effort having gotten through to her was worth it. </p>

<p>When you are looking the second time, make sure your student gets to sit in on a couple of classes. </p>

<p>I don’t think it is a bad idea to bring all of them along when doing visits, especially simple casual visits when you are still early in the game. I would tell the younger ones, we are not visiting this school for you. But you might want to pay attention to the place while we are here because you can get an idea of how you like the size of a school, type of city or rural area it is in, etc. 8th gr is not too early to begin thinking about these things!</p>

<p>Also, one parent can be sitting on the lawn while the others throw a frisbee, eat at the caf, etc or if the place has any young teen oriented museums or other sights —and the older one can be doing to tour & info session. However if they were my kids they would be sitting through those things; they are not too young!</p>

<p>You already know that when you are going back to schools for a 2nd look the oldest has to be more focused – but you will be surprised how much narrowing down you do by getting these casual visits done early! </p>

<p>I remember our youngest D at age 5 spread out on the floor of Notre Dame’s AO, coloring & doing puzzle books, while her big sisters did the tour. I had seen enough college campuses by then; I figured if either of them apply here I will be coming back anyway.</p>

8

<p>i honestly cannot remember the first time we visited a college with the kids- it may have been when they were in preschool. it was always when we were driving by on the interstate or visiting family, etc. the campuses are like visiting a park. walk around, get some cookies, go to the book store and get a notebook, etc. i feel the most important part of visiting is for your kids to get a feel for what a campus is like (city vs country, etc) and then you can more easily compare them when the serious time comes. i found that virtual visits are easier to understand if you have been to quite a few campuses.</p>

9

<p>We started the summer between soph and jr year. My daughter was embarassed that we were “so early” until she ran into a rising Senior, who said “GEE I wish I started when you did - I am so stressed now!” Never got another complaint. </p>

<p>It worked out wonderfully for us to do five “serious” colleges in August before Jr year, regroup and do three “serious” schools at Veteran’s Day of Jr. Year, and then do three “serious” schools in February on a random school holiday closer to home. By the third round, she knew exactly what she wanted, and the first round really gave her strong motivation going into her all important Junior year. </p>

<p>I would absolutely, positively not bring your younger kids along - please see my comments on the incentives thread above. In our family, DD2 stayed home with Dad, and DD1 went with me. We all had a fabulous time, and DD1 called all the shots. It was possibly my most favorite memory of all time with her - we both nearly cried when we came home from her second visit to the school she had ultimately chosen, and knew the process was over. It would have been a far different experience with another couple of people to compromise with, and far more expensive too!! FYI, the other thing I did in her Junior year is I took away almost all of her weekend chores, and replaced them with a required 90 minutes research and development time in the office with the doors closed. I didn’t care what she did - it just had to be thinking about and researching colleges. She got my undivided attention, and most of the time gave me jobs to do. I channelled my inner secretary, and pretended she was my boss. There were a few storms, but we chipped away at the process, had some fun, and by the time senior year application and essay season came around, we had a routine. (I know some kids did it all themselves - but I knew that wasn’t the path to success for our daughter.
Helicoptering? Can’t say, but I will say that now that she is at her chosen school, she is functioning beautifully, and couldn’t be happier. )</p>

10

<p>And by the way, casual visits did not work for us at all. Noone cared where we were, noone looked around much. If you don’t know much about a school, sitting on a lawn doesn’t really entice anyone in our family, much to my disappointment.</p>

11

<p>You might want to search for a thread with Schmaltz, who did a driving tour of a bunch of colleges for his daughters who I believe are the ages you’re talking about. Or PM him.</p>

12

<p>My older son visited colleges as a junior dragging his 8th grade brother with him. S2 brought a book and was generally a trouper, but it really wasn’t his idea of a fun way to spend spring break. (With the possible exception of Caltech which had great pizza and great stories about the pranks and Senior Ditch Day.) S1 didn’t like it either. He said he knew what dorm rooms looked like from summer programs - he’d taken classes at Columbia in high school. He didn’t care where campuses were. So the rest of the visits for him waited until the acceptances came in. </p>

<p>S2 ended up enjoying college visits, but we really didn’t focus on them until February of his sophomore year.</p>

13

<p>Uh- we started in 8th grade. In 9th we would stop by and leave our name with admissions and walk around on our own. In 10th we went to either a tour or a formal admissions presentation and left D’s name. We didn’t have younger siblings but I probably would not bring them to an admissions presentation but would on a tour.</p>

14

<p>Thanks for the replies and advice. The oldest, in 10th, said she wants to start looking. She wants a feel for places. Our youngest, in 8th, is a patient easy going kid and will be fine in any situation. He also loves sports and as long as he gets a cap or jersey of the sports teams (even bad or unknow ones) from the schools he will be happy. He is the first to find the cafeteria on the map also!
The middle one, 9th grade, is the one I am most concerned about bringing. He will be bored. But he also can be a selfish kid and in some regards I think walking through a couple of campus tours would be good for him. He lacks motivation in school and I do wonder if it will register with him that if he wants a reasonable choice of schools he will need to get his act together. He will behave well while in the moment least my husband’s wrath. But, he will sulk before or after. Sigh.</p>

<p>As of now, the thought is to combine the trips with one or two tours and one or two family fun things not associated at all with the college visits. Therfore, it will be a vacation with a couple of visits thrown in, rather than a college tour trip with a little bit of fun pushed into it. To my husband it is a non issue. When we are away we will do some tours and the boys will come along and deal with it. Period. “They have a good life and there are worse things then spending part of your break on college tours. They’ll live”. Hope it works.
T</p>