Wait, is it actually likely to fail at life EVEN if you go to a top college?

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>Wait, is it actually relatively likely to fail at life EVEN if you go to a top college?</p>

<p>This is kind of long, but bear with me, I’m really interested to see what other people think.</p>

<p>I’m currently a freshman at a top 20 US university in my second semester here. One of the struggles that I’ve had here is one that many smart overachieving graduated high school seniors realize once they go to a top university: I’m shocked by how many smart, amazing students I’m surrounded by. It’s almost disconcerting, how stupid I feel compared to a lot of other people. As of right now, my grades kind of suck – especially compared to how they were in high school – because I’m still adjusting mentally, both in terms of the workload/different lifestyle as well as because of my contemporaries, who challenge me and are, for the most part, a LOT smarter than I am and it’s difficult to compete. Despite this, I’m confident that I’m going to adjust so that I will be able to manage my grades and workload before my sophomore year begins.</p>

<p>At the same time, though, I’ve noticed that a large chunk of my peers are seemingly unmotivated and, quite frankly, appear to be screwups. If I ran into them on the street or at a party without knowing that they went to my school, I’d probably think that they were dumb. And for the most part, these aren’t the “secret genius” types who just do really well in school on the side while they party all the time – these are people who can’t seem to manage their time here and claim “I don’t care about my grades, it’s what I do with my life” – that sort of thing, although their reasons for not putting their all into schoolwork will vary. Some of them party literally EVERY night, smoke weed, drink, and then berate those who don't do the same. Others are just plain lazy, especially kids who are on full rides (for both financial/merit reasons) and sit on their laurels with easy majors. (DISCLAIMER: I'm not saying ALL of them, just a surprising amount of them. I have friends who are very hard working and are on full rides.) The girl across the hall from me (she’s on a full ride here) literally sleeps most of the day, skypes with friends from back home, and crams for her relatively easy anthropology exams but doesn’t challenge herself at all, nor does she get involved in other activities on campus even though she was very active in varsity sports and volunteering in high school. </p>

<p>Anyway, this latter type of people at my school that I’ve described make up a higher amount of the student body than I thought. What I mean by that is, while it seems that most of the people at my school are obviously the same kids who did extremely well in high school, there’s still a sizable chunk who fit this lazy mold, more than I thought there would be. How is it possible that there are so many students who obviously did extremely well in high school so that they could get into a university like this one, and yet now, it’s as if they’re different people? Have they gotten discouraged by their peers who are super smart? Are they simply not adjusting to the way college life works? Is this the same case at Ivy league schools, at schools “better” than mine? Or is this just the case at my school? I’m willing to bet it isn’t. </p>

<p>I know that you don’t have to go to a top school to get a top education and still do amazingly well in life, and I came to my college because I love this school, not because I thought being here over my state school would give me an “edge” for my future. But right now I’m pondering this: the successful people who went to top colleges are part of what give those top colleges their prestige. However, you never hear about the people who graduated from those colleges, got their degree, but didn’t make anything of themselves persay because they didn’t make that effort in college and beyond. What triggers that transformation? I suppose I always thought that if you’re smart, going to a top school almost guarantees success in life. But I guess that’s not true.</p>

<p>Comments??</p>

2

<p>Wherever you go, there you are. Where a person earns a degree is less important than who that person is and how they move through the world. There are many examples of people who have mental health or character issues that may keep them from succeeding in life. I personally know of a Harvard graduate who came from a wealthy family with lots of connections, who hasn’t worked in about 20 years. He mooches of his family for money and even drove a taxi for a while about 10 years ago. This is not an example of someone scaling back purposely to live a less encumbered life. He is deeply unhappy and complains constantly that he has been dealt unfair life curves, when the truth is that he either has significant untreated depression or a sense of entitlement so large that he simply cannot function. Probably a little of both. No Harvard degree or membership in an elite eating club can make up for those kinds of problems.</p>

<p>You might also want to consider what it means to “make something of yourself.” Not everyone graduates from prestigious universities and then goes on to use their education in highly visible ways. For example, I know many women who attended top colleges but now stay home, raising their small children. Some of them struggle with the idea that they are not “making something of themselves” because they are not sitting at the head of the boardroom table. Others realize that their wonderful education has enhanced their lives, and thus helps them as they raise socially conscious, well-rounded children. Consider, also, the many teachers, social workers, community activists, artists etc who graduate from elite schools but use their time and knowledge to impact the world in small but meaningful ways. You won’t hear about them because they don’t make big waves. But we’re out here. I’m one of them.</p>

3

<p>One certainly doesn’t have to make “big waves” to be impactful, I totally agree there. If you work toward a passion, whether you’re becoming a social worker or an engineer, THAT matters. But with some of these people, I can’t even see them really pulling their weight as individuals, whatever that may mean for them personally. Perhaps I’m simply being judgmental, but I honestly don’t see how they must have had so much passion in high school to have gotten this far, and yet now they’re partying or laying in bed. It’s strange to me, and perhaps they’ll change, but some of them are rising juniors and it just shocks me.</p>

4

<p>Lots of people spent a large amount of the energy from their childhood and adolescence preparing themselves for college admissions. They are burnt out, and banking on going to the “right” school as a guaranteed ticket to success. you are right, though - the school only provides the opportunity - it’s up to the student to take advantage.
for what it’s worth, most of the people I know who go to top 20 schools never struck me as particularly intelligent. They generally just had good habits that led to good grades, and/or a passion for something outside of school.</p>

5

<p>College admissions is a game which favours those who play it right
top 20 bla bla doesn’t mean as much as it seems it would</p>

6

<p>Oh wow other people don’t live exactly the way you think they should. They must be failures.</p>

7

<p>So what if these students indulge in long periods of relaxation? I don’t think there’s anything unhealthy about that at all. For once, I think people should just stop and do nothing. It’s about time they realize what life should really be about-- it’s not supposed to be this huge rat race starting in pre-K going through old age.</p>

8

<p>You dont need to be really smart or really hardworking to get good grades in high school. i barely studied in high school but i still had a good gpa. so getting good grades in hs doesnt really mean anything.</p>

9

<p>

</p>

<p>[Citation needed]</p>