<p>So it was just under a year ago that I first lurked on CC. I read the stories of those who were waiting patiently (not) for acceptances, denials, scholarship awards and appointments to academies. Fast forward to 2006 and it is my turn. I am surprised at how much the angst (<dramatic) of waiting has effectively overshadowed any sadness related to the prospect that my DD will be moving away from home sooner than later. Do I want April to come? or do I want the days to move slowly??? Things are actually exciting at this point as we wait to hear from dream schools about dream acceptances and dream scholarships. JK. Safeties are in already and so if bigger and better things come up--it's icing. Anyway- best wishes to all of you who are...waiting.</p>
<p>It is an interesting time period this magical three months before the emotional roller coaster of admits and denials. You mentioned the sadness about the eventual moving away. Made me realize that I haven't even confronted that aspect of this process myself. I hope it doesn't hit me like a freight train.</p>
<p>I remember last year when we were in the midst of waiting - I was thinking about it pretty often, but to my son it was a non-issue. His part was done, why worry mom?</p>
<p>Time flows in strange ways during senior year. From September to December, it seems to fly by with deadlines for one thing or another coming one right after the other. Then from January through March, it seems to crawl, waiting for news to come back. April passes in an instant in a flurry of decisions. After that, students and parents experience time in different ways.</p>
<p>For students, May and June crawl. They want high school to be over in the worst way. July and August are almost as slow, waiting to find out what things will be like in college.</p>
<p>For parents, May through August flash by almost as fast as April did, because they know they are in the last few months with their kid at home.</p>
<p>Momnipotent, she of the cool screen name: I felt just as you do now...wanting a "stay" or a delay to savor the last things from this era and to not get lost in the rush of senior events. In April, we took turns going to a few really rewarding Accepted Students days with my S, and I treasured those visits so much because it was a privilege to still be the sounding board and a valued ear while he made such an important decision. June is a blur..so many "final" events. July was for me a time of some parental dread setting in, and I recall the turning point was when his roommate wrote him and the facebook started to become important as he started to get excited about his class of 2009. I became instantly happy for him when actual classmates emerged from the computer...and ready to think forward beyond the letting go and more toward embracing the new faces and new place. Somehow leaving my S was not so hard on the final morning? Why? I got sick the day after the move in and was in a hotel throwing up during the very emotional parent/student convocation and goodbyes. ha Could this have been psychosomatic? Yes! It's possible. But I had already had so many great senior year and college search outings and talks to remember sharing with S that I did not feel cheated or dwell too much on missing that one ceremony. I watched it online later. But on Parent's Weekend in the fall, I was struck by a new insight that you will likely also share. Our children's new peers are really quite complete as mentors and friends for them. I liked so many of the students I met at Duke, and realized he could wander up the hall and ventilate or get good common sense advice from a score of future fine adults he had already befriended. They are all highly motivated and also they tend to help each other with weak points or tough days. This gave me a sense of peace and the ability to recognize that my S could now turn day to day to a new moral support system that was quite effective for him, and in fact this shift toward peers as mentors and supporters is the right shift at the right time. Recently, we were consulted by S over issues regarding sophomore housing choices and we were consulted about some curriculum options, but our roles are changing. By next fall, I think he will have a clear support system at school and be even more grounded.<br>
happy days to you and your senior</p>
<p>Faline2, BassDad et al. Thanks for your sharing thoughts. My DD are so very close and I can't imagine next year at this time. Thank goodness for the internet and free cell phone minutes after 9 pm. Till then, I am savoring our evenings together. </p>
<p>Besides what I might be headed for, I also worry about how the 2 brothers will hold up with her gone. The 3 of them are so close. Like all other things in life, I am sure it will work itself out. Change is inevitable...right?</p>
<p>I very much feel the loss, and will need a good bit of time to regroup. Just put an exchange student from Asia on a plane early this morning so we temporarily had a Big Brother dynamic back in our household. I sense that if we can redefine our relationship with S, we may not really "lose" him to his future. This takes change on both sides as S also is working hard at establishing a Self out in the wider world and freshman are only fledglings in terms of identity. This seems to be a challenge that is more art than science and we are feeling our way through it as a family in a bit of a fog with occasional clearings.</p>
<p>Our son is a sophomore out there in collegeland now.
We (alright, mostly me) went through the letting go thing two years ago. It was not so much fun.....
Now, the accomplished, focused young man that calls and visits (once in a while, if nothing else better presents itself) is truly amazing.
I would not have predicted such a transformation in two short years.
It is so cool to witness that I (almost) am passed missing the 12 year old, little leaguer I once had!</p>
<p>I dreaded taking our older som to college -- I feel like I've been anticipating this for 18 years! All summer, I bounced between excitement for him and sadness about his departure. When the actual day arrived, though, I was fine. (BIG surprise to me!. Try to imagine Steve Martin in "Father of the Bride" when he tells the fiance that Annie comes from a long line of over-reactors!)</p>
<p>We are close enough to visit periodically, and of course he was home for Christmas. He's very happy at his school and has matured in many ways, so that's fun to see. But I have to admit that I miss my son the way he was in HS. It's like when your baby learns to walk -- you love watching him walk, but you miss the baby you had to carry.</p>