For some kids who have more than one acceptance, a clear top choice may come to the forefront before the May 1 deadline. This was the case for our S. He had three terrific acceptances and one WL. Although H and I tried to get S to hold off on letting go of two of the choices, “just to be SURE”, it became very clear to S which one he could already “see” himself attending, the one that "fit"the best. He let the other two know of his decision a few weeks before the deadline (probably within a day or two of receiving the “no” from CMU). For others, the final decision doesn’t get made until 11:59 pm, on May 1. The WL glaciers will begin to break up soon. . .
@mom4bwayboy
But he had control, that can be really important at any age.
S did have one WL which meant a lot to him (and a few “nos”). It was one he kinda fell in love with at his very first audition. Although he could “see” himself at his current school, he held out hope for that WL until late into May, when they finally “cut him loose”. He sent very nice emails to the director stating his continued interest, but we did not do another visit. Would it have made a difference? Who knows. He’s only a teensy bit wistful . . .
@MTDad2020 You are correct. Every program requires a decision by May 1, the National Reply Date. Telling your wait list school that another program is asking for a final decision doesn’t make any sense to me. Colleges who have you on their wait list know you have to commit and put a deposit down at another school by May 1. Many schools cannot go to their wait list until they have heard back from all the offers they have put out, and for many schools, this won’t be until after May 1.
Also, in all due respect to @VoiceTeacher, I believe a wait listed student should visit the wait listed school if they have never done so in the past for their OWN benefit. Often when a wait list offer of acceptance comes through, a decision has to be made over a short period of time whether to accept the offer, and there may not be time at that point to do a campus visit, particularly if far away. Besides that reason enough alone, it never hurts to show interest in a school. A visit is not considered overkill, but rather, expected.
Also, the schools may tell you what they want. My D is on two waitlists (for design though, not MT), and they each sent an FAQ with the letter. One, which is a BFA program (and has an acting major, but not MT), said, “do not send us any additional information (ie updated resume, clips, etc, it will not help; just, well, wait.)” One, which is a BA program (and has an MT major), said, “send us an email if we are your first choice in addition to sending in the waitlist form.”
I found it interesting that the second school I mentioned calls people from the waitlist and asks for an answer within 48 hours EVEN IF the offer is made before May 1.
The first school sends an email and a follow up letter and allows two weeks for a response. I believe that they said they make waitlist offers any time a spot opens up, so if they get a “no” before May 1, they contact a waitlisted student for that spot. But that school only accepts the exact number of students they have spots for–there is no “yield management.” I’m not sure how typical that is for MT programs. This school is probably my D’s top choice, so she mentioned that in her email to which she attached the waitlist form.
Crossed fingers and toes to all those waitlisted.
For some schools, even if they get kids who turn down an offer well before May 1, can’t yet offer that spot to someone else because they have accepted more applicants than spots available in the class and so still need to wait to see all the results after May 1 before determining if they have gotten their yield, and if not, then go to the wait list.
There are some schools that put out offers only to the exact number of spots available in the program’s freshmen class. So, if an accepted student turns down an offer, they can then go to the wait list. But as mentioned by @supergirlsmom , a school that admits someone off the wait list may provide a very small window of time for the applicant to answer the offer. For example, when my D was on the Priority Waitlist for CMU, a school that puts out acceptances for the exact number of spots available only, the instructions were that if an offer off the wait list came through, she’d be given 48 hours to accept or decline (though if this were to happen, it would very likely be AFTER May 1). Here is a reason why it was good that we had already visited.
Lastly, as a college counselor, as well as many colleagues would also advise, that a wait list applicant should not do NOTHING. Just sending a form back is not enough, unless a school specifically says, please do not send us anything. It is not enough to just say you would attend if admitted, though that is a start. A letter should indicate why it is your first choice (IF it genuinely is…otherwise, can express it being a top choice), possibly bringing up anything from previous visits or discussions with people at the school, etc. It should include updates about the candidate since the last time he/she sent in an application or other materials. New achievements, activities, and so on should be noted in the letter. It is appropriate to send an additional recommendation from someone who knows the candidate in a different capacity than the previously sent required recommendations. In other words, don’t send more of the same. A new perspective by someone who knows you who can put in a word on your behalf can also help. A return visit is not necessary, but if you haven’t ever visited, then do so.
@soozievt your perspectives are extremely helpful. Thank you.
@MTDad2020 - yes all schools are supposed to abide by that deadline. In the past, some have not honored that, which caused a lot of distress for some students. Hopefully that will not be an issue this year.
~VT
Thanks so much @MTDad2020 for starting this thread. And @soozievt @VoiceTeacher @bisouu @MTRaleighmom and @toowonderful @mom4broadway for all the helpful responses!
I was just informed of my Waitlist status Monday for a program I was strongly considering, so this was helpful to read. They have remained friendly, and in touch since my audition, so I sent back in the WL form and checked off the “still highly interested” category. Is it necessary to follow up with a more personal email about my interest and other pending offers in a week or two? Also, an accepted school I’m visiting next month, happens to be in the area so I wasn’t sure if it was too much to do both of those things.
@destiny95 read my wait list advice (as a college counselor, and is akin to what most college counselors would also advise) in post #25, 3rd paragraph. Write that letter (include updates about yourself). Do NOT mention other pending offers. Visit if you are already in the area and do things on this visit you didn’t do last time (assuming you have already been there?). Learn more. Do it for yourself, but also try to meet people there.
Just read it! @soozievt I have not visited yet. Thank you so much!
@destiny95 Surely, if you have not yet visited, you should. If you should get off this wait list, you’ll be able to make an informed decision.
Good grief, surely if you are waitlisted and it is the only time you can visit and if you got in it would be a contender, by all means VISIT! If that is considered pushing the envelope then in my book, that school is a “bad fit.” Hrrrummph!!!
Thanks! Planning on it. 
We are trying to visit all waitlist schools over the next 4 weeks. If, perchance, a waitlist comes through before May 1, there will be a choice to make; if after May 1, there could be deposits to lose. It’s part of the process. I want to make sure my D is in a position to make an informed decision once the pieces all fall into place.
My son is wait listed for 2 of his top choices. One is a state school where I would be OK if he were to pay full tuition. But in the case of his other reach school that he is on the wait list for -what is the likelihood that he would get any merit aid? Paying full price would be nearly impossible.
Think it depends on the school- according to different people’s experience, some still have gotten aid as wait listed students, but some have not…