<p>A friend's daughter is accepted at several excellent schools and wait-listed at U of Chicago. Mom asked for my advice. I suggested that it's time for her daughter to fall in love with someone who loves her back. My son "saved his heart" until the end so his first choice would be a sure thing. Others can do what they want, but being heart-whole rather than broken-hearted is very sweet.</p>
<p>OK, does anyone have any suggestions about this?</p>
<p>S has been waitlisted at 5 different schools at once. He likes them all for different reasons and would rank each of them higher than the two schools to which he has been accepted.</p>
<p>While we recognize that the odds of beings accepted from any one list aren't good, he's now on so many lists we feel like we're going through the admissions process all over again.</p>
<p>Advice?</p>
<p>I viewed waitlist invites as polite rejections at best, and at worst being used by the colleges as their insurance policy against an unanticipated drop in yield. My son received 2, and immediately declined both. Fortunately he already had several acceptances from schools he was more interested in attending.</p>
<p>I think that our kids need to focus on the schools that accepted them. It underscores the need to apply only to schools you would be happy going to especially your safety schools. If our kids hold out hope that their dream waitlist school might come through they are wasting psychic energy that could better be directed at falling in love with one of their other schools that accepted them. If a kid is lucky enough to get more than one acceptance then she should be evaluating where she should go. She should go to accepted student days. Mourn your dream school quickly and move on.</p>
<p>My D was rejected at Williams, Amherst and waitlisted at Middlebury. She got into Colgate, Bucknell and received a much coveted Marquis scholarship at Lafayette. She is waiting to hear from Wesleyan. By Monday she will know which schools were smart enough to say yes to her and she will begin her decision process. So my advice, tell your kids to, in the words of the Crosby Stills and Nash song to" love the one you're with".</p>
<p>Dana's Dad</p>
<p>Heres our dilemna...D accepted to all west coast schools(top tier w/honors) and waitlisted to all east coast schools..and she wants to study back east!..does she accept all the waitlists-as its all such a crap shoot...advice?</p>
<p>Staying on the waitlist is free, and doesn't need to take much psychic energy. Send in the cards with a "yes" to the waitlist schools and consider them like a lottery card (chances are small that you will get it, but it is always a possibility) - then concentrate on the admitted schools. If you are accepted off the waitlist - great! If not, well, you have been concentrating on the schools you were admitted to.</p>
<p>I think she should start getting excited about staying on the West Coast, personally. I agree with Danalynn. I think it's best for the student if she starts getting excited about the school that she's most likely to go to instead of holding out hope all summer for something that's very unlikely to happen. This is especially true given how waitlists are now used as "polite rejections" at so many schools. I think waitlists are only worth staying on, really, if that school is vastly better (in the student's opinion) than the schools the student was accepted to. I'm assuming that your daughter got into a UCal, in which case she's not only going to an excellent school, but your family will be saving a significant amount of money. She can go to the East Coast for graduate school or in the summers to work. Get her excited about where she got in. Remember, it's much easier to stay relatively close to home in terms of moving there and back every year and visiting home for Thanksgiving or a long weekend. I'm a pretty independent person, but I start missing home if I haven't been there for a couple months. Sometimes you just need a break from college. Many students at my school have reported similar feelings. My parents are nice enough to fly me home for a long weekend every term, but it's definitely more of a hassel than one of my friends who can just take the train home. I'm about a three hour flight and hour and a half drive away. Your daughter would be much further.</p>
<p>The thing about staying on the waitlists and thinking of them as lottery tickets is that so few seventeen year olds are capable of doing that. They will still, in their heart, be holding out hope a little bit. When people ask where she's going to college, she should be able to say "I'm going --------" with a smile on her face, instead of explaining that she sent in her deposit to A but is on waiting lists for B, C, and D.</p>
<p>Perhaps she could focus on a few E coast schools. Besides returning the postcard, I'd send along a note about any recent accomplishments, and perhaps an extra evaluation.</p>
<p>Just reading CC, I'm amazed by how many colleges some students are accepted at. There probably will be some use of the WL.</p>
<p>I don't think that there is anything wrong with staying on the waitlist if you have the right attitude. Speaking from experience, I don't care if it is a polite rejection--a waitlist is a lot easier to stomach than a rejection. I plan to stay on the waitlists that I was offered (Brown and Columbia), although in reality I doubt Columbia will take anyone (and certainly not me, at any rate), and I don't really know if I will want to go to Brown in the slight but possible chance I get off the waitlist. Being that I have already started to move on, I don't think I am in danger of being too attached to what are probably essentially rejections.</p>
<p>I agree with Danalynne. Love the one you're with.</p>
<p>Thirtysomething years ago, I was waitlisted by my first choice college. I chose immediately to go elsewhere and not accept the place on the waitlist. Within a few days, I had adjusted to the fact that I would be going to College B instead of College A, and I was focused on my new plans. I think it is quite psychologically difficult to commit to B when you're still on the waitlist for A.</p>
<p>Love the one you're with is a great strategy, and most well-adjusted (or even not-so-badly-adjusted) kids gravitate to it naturally. That's one of the best things I remember about April and May from my daughter's year. April 1, there was a lot of pain and disappointment going around (and elation, too, but that's not what we're talking about). By about May 15, everyone was in love with the schools they were going to attend.</p>
<p>Almost everyone. One of my daughter's close friends remained quite unhappy and apprehensive. She had only gotten into one college, and it was one she maybe shouldn't have applied to in the first place, because she really wasn't falling in love with it. She was a difficult kid to read: not a great student, very involved in music but without great natural talent, tremendously strong, but very quiet character. You had to know her well, for a long time, to appreciate how great she was; it wouldn't have come through on paper at all.</p>
<p>She did get into her first-choice school off the waitlist, after a full-bore campaign by her prestigious private school to make it happen. It helped that the school was perfect for her and she for it, and that it was a school that regularly took some substantial number of kids off the waitlist.</p>
<p>Keep in mind that while most colleges will end up taking a few students from their waitlist, many will prioritize full-pay students, legacies, or other hooked applicants. Even if the school is need-blind, they are generally need-aware when it comes to the waitlist. Just one more factor to take into account when evaluating chances of admission.</p>
<p>Danalynne- "love the one your with", is what it's all about. D was waitlisted by one of her dream schools so now the decision process is in full swing. Revisiting or visiting schools that accepted you is what we are up to this coming week. We will not waste time on the waitlisted school. Time to move on.</p>
<p>Good luck, everyone.</p>
<p>This page is the best!</p>
<p>S has decided to do the following:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Send off a letter to his favorite wait list school about how great a fit they are for him, just so he can know he's done everything he can (no, S does not go to a prestigious private school - our school has rotated counselors 3 times this year alone, so counselor doesn't know S at all - nor would school be able to apply the kind of pressure an elite private school could and would apply).</p></li>
<li><p>Forget about the waitlist after that. </p></li>
<li><p>Love the one he's with.</p></li>
<li><p>If he does hit the lottery, I'm sure he'll either find a way to be happy switching or find a way to be happy saying to the waitlist school,"Too late - you don't know what you could have had!"</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Oh my...how I appreciate the sage advice. We are "dumbfounded" by all the "waitlist" rather than a flat out rejection...As a parent I was thrilled to see both Berkeley and UCLA accept her. They are INCREDIBLE, and made more so by the number of highly qualified applicants..I guess our D needs a little time to process this...as do we...</p>
<p>D last year was waitlisted at four schools, accepted to six. She sent in the card that she would accept a position on the wait list but did not do much more. I think she felt compelled to "try" to get off the lists but after visiting her other top choices, she did fall in love with a great school and is VERY happy. I look back now, with the benefit of hindsight, and see that the school she is attending always was the best choice for her, for many reaons, that I will spare you! Those wait lists were really rejection, it just didn't sting as badly. We knew that statistically she would not get in and really encouraged her to become invested in a school and move on. She did; we did; it just took a month. Good luck!@</p>
<p>WSJournal article - overlapping wait lists make the next phase of the admissions process trickier for both colleges and students since colleges don't want to offer admission to students who are unlikely to accept. This year colleges are concerned about their yield as they see more applications per student and vie for the same pool of talent. </p>
<p>
[quote]
"In recent years, the waitlist has become "almost like a second early-decision process" as colleges grow more savvy about measuring students' interest before making offers, says Ken Fox, chairman of the admission-practices committee at the National Association for College Admission Counseling and a counselor at Ladue Horton Watkins High School in St. Louis. Already, students who have accepted slots on waitlists say they are feeling pressure to show a firmer commitment, in order to stand out when schools turn to their waitlists next month.</p>
<p>That can pose ethical dilemmas: Alisa Rudnick, a senior at San Francisco University High School, was waitlisted at half of the 12 colleges to which she applied. She chose to stay on the lists at two -- Reed College and Skidmore College -- but is also considering enrolling at Bard College, where she has been accepted.</p>
<p>"I'm in a really weird position because it's hard to declare one as your first choice," says Ms. Rudnick, who plans on writing a letter to each college to show interest. But she says she doesn't feel right telling each school it is her No. 1 option -- which is what schools want to hear when deciding who will get offers...</p>
<p>To broaden its options, Amherst College offered 1,450 spots on the waitlist this year, up from 1,258. With students likely to be on multiple waitlists, "we know we are going to lose a bunch," says Tom Parker, dean of admissions and financial aid.</p>
<p>Northwestern University offered waitlist spots to 2,700 students this year, an increase from 1,750. "We find it more challenging than usual to model how many of the admitted students will enroll," says Keith Todd, director of undergraduate admission at Northwestern, which saw its applications increase by 19% this year to a record 21,949.</p>
<p>The University of Pennsylvania -- which offered waitlist spots to 2,800 people, an increase from 1,800 last year -- says it calls a handful of candidates on the waitlist and their high-school counselors after May 1 to gauge the likelihood that students will accept offers. ...</p>
<p>Efforts by colleges to measure commitment can be frustrating for students who are uncertain where they want to go....When making waitlist offers, the school promises to go to the priority list first, before its regular waitlist. But to nail down students' commitment, the school asks those accepted to make a decision quickly...</p>
<p>For some students, losing an enrollment deposit to a school that accepted them is a no-brainer if they are later admitted from the waitlist to their top choice school. ...</p>
<p>Many colleges say they don't advise spending money on a campus visit, given the rather small chance of being admitted...
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Thanks for all the good suggestions! We're using the "Love the one you're with" strategy. But still.... :D</p>
<p>Does anyone know a way to get the Wall Street Journal articles for free? Sometimes the newspaper makes them available for a short time.</p>
<p>Madmax - Good strategy. My S is in the same position. W/L at his 4 top schools and accepted to his 2 safeties. The top schools are significantly superior to his safeties, so he's inclined to play the waitlist lottery, but make preparations to attend one of his safety schools. You never know!?!</p>
<p>I just got taken off the waitlist at Hampshire College. I had gotten into Bard, which is obviously a much, much better school, but I really liked Hampshire. I emailed them to see why I was waitlisted and they told me they felt my analytical essay (they required a paper from school) could have been better. I recently just sent in a new one and the officer told me it was "really fabulous" and now am accepted.</p>