<p>My DS is one of those kids who was admitted with very significant FA. I want to make it very clear that we absolutely know how very lucky we are. I immediately signed the contracts for fear that somehow this crazy incredible opportunity would disappear. As far as the interviews, I never really pushed how wonderful my child is. I anything, the interviewer at the school where he was accepted was a bit negative about his chances. I stated what my concerns were with his attendance at the school. I didn’t really talk him up at all, it just isn’t my personality. What actually happened is still a bit of a mystery to me. I think that it had to do a lot with the fact that he is an athlete and an URM. That being said, we know someone with very similar info and that person was rejected. At many of the top BS it is a bit of a crap shoot. We are still pinching ourselves as we can’t believe that this is truly real. </p>
<p>:) 
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<p>My mom said she wonders if I would’ve gotten in had she made her parent statements bland and made herself sound less educated. </p>
<p>@stargirl3, We can only be who we are. </p>
<p>Agreed, ideally it’s the kids who should be “selling” themselves. But consider that u are competing against families where the parents, and/or possibly a well-connected feeder-school placement office or a well-connected private consultant, are aggressively advocating for the kid.</p>
<p>In Hunger Games parlance, it is like competing against “careers”. But sometimes, the kids from District 12 do triumph over the careers…</p>
<p>That was my thinking as well.
But now I’m just feeling glad that I will probably get to keep my kids around. The adrenaline rush of competition is fading out and District 12 (well, maybe 8 or 9) looks pretty good.</p>
<p>My DD received substantial FA at 3 schools. We were really in the dark as to how in the world this was going to play out. She has virtually no EC’s and her school does not grade and she is not a URM but hails from an underrepresented-ish state. Of course we feel ridiculously lucky and huge compassion for those who were not lucky this go around. All these kids are great kids, my daughter included. I think sometimes it is simply luck. We also have 4 kids and a low-ish income. There is no question that this was a factor. Wishing everyone on WL, FA-WL luck in the coming weeks…</p>
<p>I think the kids “sell” themselves by being who they are - their grades, test scores, teacher evaluations/references and interviews are what gets them admitted. However, I strongly believe that parents can help polish the package by helping to send videos of crucial sporting events/updates on significant awards won, etc. I actually believe that it makes sense for parents to do that in college applications as well. I dont consider it helicopter parenting, I look at that as on the par of a company hiring an ad agency - yes they can come up with a jingle on their own, but a professional would do a better job. In terms of a post saying that you are competing with kids with strong placement professionals, or feeder schools pushing, I think you are not. Its a different pool. Keeping fingers crossed for a good outcome.</p>
<p>I honestly am of the belief that things work out as they should. Sometimes it takes the benefit of time to understand what you have gained through a particular outcome. If not this year, then maybe next if it was meant to be. Who knows, there are quite a few that come to BS as new juniors when schools lose students for various reasons. I think a student can reap all the benefits of BS with 2 years in as well as 4. And it is quite a bit more affordable if that is the way it works out for your child. At my D’s BS the new 2nd and 3rd year students assimilate seamlessly.</p>
<p>Twinsmama, even if your kids don’t get off their waitlists, perhaps this is a good thing in the end (easy for me to say, I know). Your disappointment, I hope, is temporary. You can regroup and your twins might benefit from another go-round. From what I read here and in other threads, they are bright, talented and motivated but am I possibly correct in inferring that they aren’t particularly assertive? BS cultures are all about kids who ARE assertive and outgoing. So, may I suggest, have another go next year. They are just 13. Many students enter the prep world at 14, 15 or older. In so doing, your children might be more attractive to schools with more maturity and confidence. If you think they absolutely need that freshman year they could apply as repeats. Your family hasl earned a lot (and taken some tough shots). You are wiser and tougher for all of it and I would put money down that your twins are going to be stronger candidates and better self advocates if/when they come back at it for the following year. Once upon a time I had a mentor who taught me: “No is a slow yes”. </p>
<p>@Agincourt, Thank you for that bit of perspective and wisdom. You are right that my children are not terribly assertive - except at home! - and that they are still very young. I hated to see them so disappointed, but I may even be a little disappointed myself if some waitlists come through. I will be very happy to have them at home, and I agree that they may be better candidates next year if they decide to give it another go.</p>
<p>Yes, and you get to have them at home for another year. Once they go, they go. Best to you!</p>
<p>My brother is suddenly very assertive when he decides he is not going to do the dishes. :)</p>
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<p>+1000 to Agincourt. Do not underestimate how BS will affect your family. Kids are different but, if you have a very independent kid like we do, you are basically sending him off to college four years early. I didn’t realized until the end of freshman summer that our kiddo is basically a guest in our home, touching down briefly for breaks, but definitely permanently launched. It can be wonderful to watch but, oh, that hole in my heart gets bigger every time he leaves.</p>
<p>So maybe I dodged a bullet - to the heart. But @ChoatieMom, it might not have felt too different if your son were home. I joke that my son only needs me for food and hugs, but it’s not really a joke. They’re becoming men, and it’s such a huge transition that they have to almost divorce themselves from their little-boy selves and from their mamas, no matter how much it hurts both parties…although I suspect the pain is pretty much one sided! It seems different with girls. It’s stormier, but the closeness remains. Girls don’t have to change as much to become women as boys do to become men.</p>
<p>edited …</p>