Hello, out there. Has anyone out there managed to get a CSS non-custodial parent waiver–and how did you manage to do it?
What do people do when the noncustodial parent is a mess–impoverished, ill, alcoholic–and there’s no way to force the guy to fill out the financial information form? (I’m thinking I might have to track him down, but I can’t believe it would work.)
Re the waiver: Yale, Williams, Dartmouth, Macalester have each asked for different forms of “proof” that my daughter doesn’t have a relationship with her dad. But my daughter and I have no relationship with a church or synagogue or other religion (all the schools ask for letters from “clergy”). I have no legal documentation that the father is abusive or mentally disturbed, etc.
We haven’t had contact with him for 3 years. He’s a completely absent parent. But how does one prove that?
I’ve asked my daughter’s therapist to write a letter. And then I thought maybe it was a terrible idea to let the colleges know that my daughter is in therapy.
I would be eternally grateful for any advice!
It is a shame that you don’t have contact because if he is impoverished that is in favor and there really isn’t any income there to waive. I guess last year would have been the time to track him down and get financial records, you could have filled it out for him, with permission. We used our hs GC as the school knew he was not involved–no religious group either, but our situation was lifetime situation of absence. I suppose a therapist is a good one, others here have mentioned using one for the letter. At least they are a professional who is presumed not to be fibbing. But you should also describe what you know of his financial circumstances and the reasons for no contact.
Does your school GC have any idea about this? They might be a good resource, or have a creative idea about how to provide the info for the colleges.
Talk to your HS guidance counselor. How long has this been an absentee parent? Perhaps the school can verify that this parent has not been in the picture for a LONG time.
If the therapist can verify the absentee dad, then fine. It’s the financial aid office that grants these waivers, not admissions.
The HS guidance counselor often advocates for this sort of thing. Your daughter’s pediatrician/physician is another source as well as the therapist. That you’ve had no contact for a long time, don’t know where he is, he isn’t paying any support are all things in your favor. Since the waivers are per school, not one all around waiver, they may differ slightly or widely even in what is required, and YMMV as to the results. I know someone whose DD had similar schools on her list and 2 did not grant, and 4 did.
I dont’ think it’s a terrible idea that the colleges learn that your child is in therapy. The FA people aren’t the admissions people. And, many kids are in therapy. it isn’t odd that a child with an absent father would be in therapy…it’s actually quite normal.
You should try to track him down thru his relatives…your in-laws should know where he is. Since he had little/no income, it’s better just to go that route.
You guys are so wonderful! It is such a relief to hear from other parents – And your advice is wonderful. I’m going to ask my daughter to meet with her guidance counselor and give her the background information. I’m sure you all know this, too, but a lot of teenagers don’t disclose what’s going on with the absent parent, so their guidance counselors don’t know a thing about it. It’s time for her to start giving the details.
I’m very glad to hear, too, that I shouldn’t worry about the therapist thing. I was thinking perhaps the financial add staff could run across the hall to admissions and say “Don’t accept this one! She’s been in therapy for years!” That’s probably more than a little paranoid.
I think I might also try to track down her dad and ask him to sign a statement that describes his poverty. Maybe if financial aid offices see proof that he’s on medicaid, in a low-income housing unit, on disability, without a computer or car to get to the public library and use one there, etc… Maybe they’ll give a waiver. I absolutely don’t want to have to go through this process every year, that’s for sure. THANK YOU GUYS!!! You are the greatest.
BrownParent-- a quick question: You mentioned getting permission to fill it out for him. That might be a really good solution. Do you know if I’d need to get permission from him? Or from the college?
@thumper1 is exactly right. I was going to write the same things.
Ah… call me a helicopter parent, but I would want to be in on this conversation with the GC. Or I would send them an email prior to meeting with your daughter explaining the situation and why your D is coming to see them… getting these waivers saves YOU a lot of money, I’d be reluctant to leave the communication on this in the hands of my 17 year old…
Yeah, the only ‘statement’ they want from him is the CSS Profile filled out with his signature on the bottom. That is something they can evaluate to come up with your financial aid numbers. Since it sounds very likely his lack of income would only be a benefit I would try to do that and help him fill it out for the benefit of his daughter.
But at my dd’s college I only had to fill out out once and it was accepted and I never heard about it again. Same with the CSS Profile, only had to do it once.