Wanna help me on my essay?

<p>So I finished my essay for the common app....anyone wanna critique it?</p>

<p>yes! PM Me.</p>

<p>Yeah sure. PM me</p>

<p>Ill be glad to help PM me</p>

<p>sure, pm me.</p>

<p>I'll read it too.</p>

<p>SURE pm me</p>

<p>i'll read it!</p>

<p>I shall read</p>

<p>PM meeeeee</p>

<p>PM me. I'll read it.</p>

<p>Sure! PM me as soon as you can.</p>

<p>You have some GREAT piece of writing.
Only thing that disturbed me were your figurative language.
Being descriptive is good, but I found it too much over-used.</p>

<p>*Remember, Adcom does NOT read the entire essay. Moreover, they do NOT read it as thoroughly as we do. They just VERY BRIEFLY scan over it to see the main idea of your essay. Most of All, they HATE reading an essay with too many descriptions. You should minimize it at all cost.</p>

<p>You essay deserves an A if it was your English paper assignment.
However, as an Admission Essay, try to be more brief and more straight to the point.</p>

<p>i will!!!!!!</p>

<p>PM me if you still need advice.</p>

<p>thanks a lot dhl3...</p>

<p>can i read it? if you need anyone else..</p>

<p>Pm me too plz</p>

<p>If you want, I can read it too.</p>

<p>P.S. I do taekwondo too. Do you compete?</p>

<p>I have to disagree with the "adcoms don't like descriptions" notion. Take a look at any sample essays from books by Harry Bauld or Harvard Crimson. All the application essays in there had VIVID descriptions, along with DESCRIPTIVE anecdotes. </p>

<p>But I'll have to take a look at the essay first. PM me.</p>