<p>I want to go to a college that's about 500 miles from home, but my mother won't even talk to me about it. She keeps saying that she won't be able to visit me and that I won't be able to come home often, but I didn't plan on coming home very often even if I stayed close. She doesn't think I'll be able to handle it even though i'm pretty independent and have never relied on her to do things for me. How do I convince her this is right for me?</p>
<p>It's your decision, not hers. Which college you attend will ultimately determine what you do with the rest of your life (in a sense) ... this is not up to her.</p>
<p>My wife ended up going to college about 200 miles from where her parents lived. This made her mother happy. When we relocated to a different part of the country after college, her mother went ballistic. You will have to fight this battle sometime. If it is worth it to fight it now, go for it.</p>
<p>Get scholarships/job and find a way to pay for it yourself, and, if you're sure it's what you want, go. If you're over 18 your parents can't stop you. Just make sure you're going for the right reasons and that you can pay for it yourself so you won't be dependent on your parents to pay for it.</p>
<p>I can guess which responses are from kids, and which ones are from parents.</p>
<p>1) explain why the school is especially good, and why you can't get the same program at a school within a 3-hour drive (perhaps 200 miles?). 2) do a financial spreadsheet, showing the cost including trips home for Thanksgiving (or would you stay in a hotel? for most schools this is a 4-day weekend), Christmas, Easter/Spring break). Check the school calendar to see how many round trips are involved, plus move-in and move-out. How would these trips be handled? Would your parents have to take time off from work for them, or could you travel by yourself for some of them? 3) put together an emergency plan. If you need dental or medical care, is there a clinic on the campus? Does your medical insurance apply to doctors where you want to go? 4) Consider parents' weekend. Is it still do-able for your parents, since especially for freshman this is important to parents. If they have to worry about younger siblings, putting pets in kennels, etc., put together a plan for them (perhaps a friend could watch the pets, sibling could stay with a friend, etc. to keep the cost of visiting down). 5) verify your cell phone plan and internet access. put together an offer to call or text within a reasonable period. 6) try to get as much merit aid as possible for the distant school, so that the cost is more attractive than the cost of the closer school. Check with the guidance office, and see if anyone else from your school went there so you can show your Mom that it's been done before.</p>
<p>When you have all these answers, you can do a mature presentation and may have a shot at convincing your parents. </p>
<p>If not, you still have alternatives. You can consider transferring in two years, when your parents are more used to you being away at college (and can make sure that all of your credits will transfer, with this plan in mind), or you can figure out a way to pay for college yourself and be fully independent. </p>
<p>If you're the first child going to college, your parents are learning too. They also may have memories of a girl scout/boy scout camp or first sleepover when you may have been homesick, or memories of their own wild & crazy college experiences that have them worried for you. You need to gently explain that you expect to have a lot of homework and hope to develop new friendships, and don't plan on coming home weekends even if you go to school in the same town. </p>
<p>Good luck with keeping the dialog open. Also -- make sure that you actually have visited the dream school, since otherwise your parents may believe you're fantasizing as opposed to actually knowing that it's the perfect fit for you.</p>