I just got back from winter break and am beginning my 2nd semester of Freshman year. I am an out of state student and the second I got on the plane, I was overwhelmed with anxiety about going back. I had a tough 1st semester and was constantly having trouble with relationships with friends and romance, but I thought I enjoyed myself. However, almost as soon as i got back, I started feeling like I wanted to transfer and change my major. I just want to start over, but I’m afraid I’m getting ahead of myself because I tend to go down slippery slopes the second I start feeling weird about something. I didn’t feel homesick at all in the 1st semester, but I always enjoyed going home when I could. I also have a friend who goes to school in the state that I’m from and she considers her school and its town to be her “new home.” I don’t feel that at all at my school. Should I consider transferring or am I just homesick?
Nobody here can really answer that for you… but we can say that
- you seem to recognize a pattern from the past that you want to watch out for;
- everybody settles in at their own rate- your friend is herself, you are yourself, so comparing is not helpful;
- a good third of students change from their originally planned major; for most it does not require transferring;
- if the hard part of 1st semester was largely social, the first little while back may leave you feeling almost new again- not really ‘part’ of the community, which in turn makes it easier to consider tossing it all out and starting over;
- you have a little time to think about it: many application deadlines for transfer are in March and April; and
- every year we see a lot of students apply to transfer and then when acceptances come in realize that they have actually settled in and don’t want to leave!
so my short advice: give yourself the next 4 weeks to seriously make a go of it. If by Valentine’s Day you aren’t in like with your school (don’t look for “love”!) then work on some transfer apps. To do that you will want to think about what, exactly you want to be different. Be honest with yourself- would a bigger/smaller warmer/colder sportier/less sporty school make all the difference? There is a saying that “wherever you go, there you are”. So before you change the where make sure you know the what and why.
Starting in university is a big change. This is a hard transition to make. Your friends from high school are usually mostly gone. You are in a new location with a lot of strangers. The academics are often quite a bit more difficult compared to high school. It takes a while for many students to get used to this change. As @collegemom3717 said above, different students settle in at different rates.
I did not see much discussion of academics in your post. Can you let us know which university you are attending, and what your major is? If you are thinking of changing your major, what do you want to change it to? Changing a major at this point is very common. Both of my daughters changed their major either in freshman year or later, and many other students do the same. I did not even pick a major until the end of my freshman year of university. Most do not need to change universities to do this. Do you need to take on any debt to attend your current school and are finances an issue?
Was your first semester tough academically, socially, or both?
Having trouble with romance is very, very, very common. That might be why there are so many songs about “love gone bad”. This takes time, and also takes getting lucky and meeting the right person. Very few people happen to find this easy at your age. For most of us it does happen at some point.
I agree that you should make an effort to fit in where you are. Attend every class. Keep ahead in your homework. Talk to your academic advisor about your wanting to change your major. Participate in one or two clubs that you find interesting. If you do not like the first club that you try, then try another one. If you do not like the second club, try a third. There are a lot to choose from at most universities.
And yes, college is harder. This is generally very true for most of us.