<p>I'm 18 year old high school senior who's a male, and it's very hard for me to connect with people around me in general. The only ones I can decently have a good time with are the "geeks," which I partially consider myself as. The other side of me is I guess you can call a loner... however, this isn't my choice.</p>
<p>I feel like on some days, I can be really outgoing and confident, but on others, for some odd reason I can't seem to just relax. I don't know why... it's just a cycle. There is a girl that I'm technically going out with now but it's clear we're only infatuated with each other, as neither of us know each other very well. It's been a week since I've contacted her.</p>
<p>Yeah, so as you can see, my problems are multi-sided. However, there is one thing I can somewhat have pride in, and it's that I'm good at math and want to do engineering at the University of Texas at Austin. I can say that this is my only hope&dream.</p>
<p>I try my best to be helpful and unselfish, but sometimes this comes off as being "weak" or even "boring?" to others. I guess I was brought up this way, self-control before self-esteem. However, I know to talk when to talk, and nice but not a pushover.</p>
<p>If anyone's lived or walked a similar life, please help me out. If not, I would still love to hear your advice. Please, no sympathy, just the straight up truth of what I should expect from life, what's around the corner, and what I need to do to improve myself. Any input would be appreciated :)</p>
<p>I’m not in college yet, but you sound a lot like my sister (sophomore in college). She never talked to anyone at our high school, like literally, she only had one person she hung out with (and not very often). She has Asperger’s, so she’s really smart and pretty much a loner. But when she went to college she joined some clubs and met a big group of friends, and got a boyfriend. It was really weird lol, like I didn’t expect that to happen, and so fast. But ya, just saying, there’s hope for everyone!</p>
<p>In college, you’ll have a lot more peers than in high school, so you are more likely to find a group in which you feel comfortable. Shyness is not necessarily a bad thing, and you shouldn’t think that it’s some worthy goal to become that loudmouth that everybody is annoyed by. But extreme shyness can be the result of a lack of confidence and self-assuredness, and college is all about finding what it is that makes you believe in yourself.</p>
<p>I was shy in high school and broke the shell in college. All you really have to do is look forward to school and when you are in your dorm room, especially the first few weeks of school have your door open. When anyone comes in just greet them and try to socialize and all. When people in neighboring rooms or in the floor have their rooms open just go in and socialize, thats why the rooms are open in the first place. Everyone will be shy somewhat so don’t worry about it. All you really have to do is not by really shy the first few weeks of school. After you make some friends, you will have a group to hang out with. This is all experience that I had @ Purdue. Even my current day best friend is a friend who I met on my floor, met him when my friend wanted to meet all the guys on my floor.</p>
<p>I was pretty shy until college. Becoming more self-confident was just a natural thing that came with maturing, for me. It may be for you, too. Don’t sweat it.</p>
<p>your problem is that you think too much. confident people don’t stay inside their head. also im very jealous of how many hot girls your school has. learn to enjoy yourself and you will have many friends and girls. i mean i dare you to go to a bar and whisper in a girls ear that you have a huge dong. you will see that nothing bad happens and there is no need to give a *****. good luck bro</p>
<p>As you become more self confidant in college you will be able to strike up conversations with all the people around you. Don’t be afraid. I told myself that I would be more social in college, and so far it has worked–sort of. I’m currently super busy right now and have little time to socialize, and I’m not meeting many new people as I was in the dorms, so its hard to work at my social skills.</p>
<p>It’s something you have to work on. Force yourself to get out of your comfort zone and try new things, talking to new people, see what works for you and what doesn’t. It’s really up to you to make it happen.</p>
<p>I was born slightly autistic, and I often had a hard time socializing with others. In fact, I was actually pretty shy until my last year of college!</p>
<p>From my experience, the best way to overcome shyness is to be willing to venture outside your comfort zone. Of course, there’s still a difference between being comfortable and being safe; in other words, don’t do drugs or anything! :)</p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<hr>
<p>Danny
University of California, Berkeley '09 (B.S.)</p>
<p>I was incredibly shy in high school…I had a close, tight-knit group of friends but didn’t often associate with anyone other than those 4 or 5 people.</p>
<p>Since coming to college, though, I’ve become MUCH more outgoing. Part of this is that the “popular” people at my school have values that are very aligned with me…they’re outgoing, confident, kind, ambitious, and just generally nice people. I’m really lucky in this respect, because at my high school they were the typical “popular” people (shallow, etc.) </p>
<p>My first months here, I just tried to be extremely outgoing and friendly. I joined a bunch of clubs and got involved with the leadership of several organizations. It helped that all the other freshmen were in the same boat and we were all just as awkward about having to meet a ton of new people all the time.</p>
<p>I got to a pretty small school (3000 undergrads) so this creates a great family-like atmosphere. The upperclassmen watch out for us, and we look up to them. Having some friends who are not necessarily freshmen can be a great thing, because often freshmen will be just as shell-shocked and stressed as you will be at times. Upperclassmen are great and more often than not will be happy to help point you in the right direction.</p>
<p>All it really takes is for you to make a close connection with just one person, and go from there. If you’re still really uncomfortable I would suggest the counseling services you have on your college campus.</p>
<p>I was a little like that in highschool. It wasn’t socially crippling or anything, but I hardly ever went out or anything, even though I did have friends and date a little. I didn’t really like talking to new people and always was afraid they wouldn’t like me or something.</p>
<p>It probably won’t be a popular opinion but one thing that helped was alcohol. It makes you more talkative, and the more you talk to people the more confident you get about it. If you can force yourself to talk to people (but not come across as doing such) then by all means go for it, but parties are a great place to come out of your shell. Just don’t get too heavy into it.</p>