The only thing that’s been a bit frustrating is that I think people don’t understand why my son doesn’t have a top choice or hasn’t made up his mind. He wants to be in a big city and go to a good school. That casts a pretty wide net. He truly just can’t decide and of course merit aid will come into play. People seem really surprised when I tell them he probably won’t know until March or April.
Imagine responding with “UChicago” and “MIT” and getting, “So your kid is only applying to state schools?”
After that I really thought that simply being vague was probably the better way to go.
@NorthernMom61 I had that happen to me at my high school last year. I was telling a freshman (now a sophomore) that I was going to UNC Wilmington, to which she replied, “where is that?”
Oh, you know, it’s in Alaska.
Daughter didn’t make her final decision until well into April last year, and we were about to pay her enrollment deposit for one school, were making summer plans around orientation and move in days, when one of the financial reach schools called her to offer a wonderful big merit award and the sands shifted. Then people were really confused, “I thought you were going to go to…?”
OP here. DD did get into her SCEA school (yay!) but now I feel weird about telling people who inquire since she still has one iron in the fire. I sort of assumed if she were lucky enough to get into her dream SCEA school I’d be fine telling people who asked but now I’ve concluded I’m just a more private person than most when it comes to colleges and my kids. I guess it’s just in my DNA.
Make up some schools that your child has NO intention of attending. So if your child is rejected from the schools of his choice, you don’t have to tell anyone.
So I’m senior right now and was constantly asked where I was applying by practically everybody junior year through this year.
What I usually answered with were usually middle tier colleges. I didn’t really want people know I was applying to ivies and really hard schools so I tried to keep it moderate since you pretty much will get follow up questions later in the year if you actually got into the colleges you told people you were applying to.
This reminds me of a kid in D2’s class. His mom talked to the other parents all the time about where he had applied (MIT, Mudd, Caltech). He got in no place but a regional school, not even accepted at the state flagship. Now… I was pretty sure he wasn’t getting into any of those other schools (smile & nod…) But I think it was a shock to his mom, and she wished she hadn’t talked up his application list. It is easier to share good news later than walk back bragging done before the actual accomplishment.
I’ve only ever heard of that here on CC. A bit unusual and kind of sad, though. Meant she really wasn’t getting any solid information or advice, or couldn’t hear. More unfortunate for the kid.
So we do it (play it down or not at all) for the kids - when we can remember that they are not doing this for us.
When I was pregnant with the girls I made up all sorts of crazy names because we didn’t want to tell people the actual names.
I’m doing the same for colleges-I’m even using the same names- Why yes, she’s looking at Allegra College right now…
I get a lot of smiles and nods, and it’s wicked funny.
^^^ I like how you think … my personal fave that generates perplexed looks is West Dakotalina State.
I am also in the camp of those who enjoy sharing tips and advice. I’m actually reading this thread so that I don’t accidentally become that guy who asks too many intrusive questions.
So I try not to bring it up too much, but participate and share if asked. My DS applied for some long shot reaches and didn’t make it, but he didn’t mind sharing so I didn’t keep it secret. But everybody has different preferences for privacy, and that’s okay.
I’ve used the line, “I made him an authorized user on one of my credit cards, and he’s in charge of his applications.” Which is true - he’s got a card on one of my accounts, and he is in charge of the applications. It leads people to the conclusion that somehow I don’t know where he’s applying, and given my crazy schedule, I’m sure there are some people who think that I’m just a horrible, disconnected mother. I’m OK with that. 
Truth? My S and I have a really great relationship, we talk about the college stuff regularly, I usually (not always, but I try) manage to engage in discussion without giving too much unsolicited advice, and it’s going well. I’m pretty sure that only his GC, his gf, and I know where he’s applied.
I do like Allegra College and West Dakotalina State, though! 
Might need to remember those…