<p>You have a lot going on in your life. Financially, you are bankrupt. What the heck are you doing even considering loans for your daughter and yourself, when you are in so much trouble? Or putting more financial burden on you at this very difficult time? I’m going to be straightforward with you: you are out of you minds considering “sleep away” college for your daughter in the same breath that you say you are “claiming bankruptcy”. </p>
<p>The SUNY schools tend to meet full need based on FAFSA for tuition. Not for boarding and food. And they do integrate their awards with TAP and PELL, so it getting the $20K+ you need for your daughter to go away to school is unrealistic, in my opinion, even if you are a zero EFC, given the max you can get between the grant programs at rock bottom zero is not even $12K. You really should NOT be having her take out ANY loans, even though she can, to the tune of $5500 this year. That is the only way she can get loans at her age without you or other credit worthy adult signing with her, or you applying for a Parent loand (PLUS) . But given your finanical catastrophe, why on earth aren’t you keeping her loan free as possible?</p>
<p>IMO, the best thing you can do, is have her commute to a local school, whether it’s community college, a local SUNY or some other local school that may give her full tuition remission if she’s lucky, or if she gets a full scholarship on her merit’s elsewhere. Let her go ther for two years, and if she does well, consider transferring and then borrowing what will be her junior and senior year allotments of $7500. You’ll hopefully be in better financial shape then and maybe can contribute something to her educations. Right now, it’s rock bottom, baby, if you are declaring bankruptcy. How much lower can you get? </p>
<p>I have to strongly agree with cptofthehouse. </p>
<p>If I were in this situation, and I had a soph D who wanted X or Y or Z school, I would tell her: "we already have credit issues that are going to haunt us for many years. I do not want you to face what we’ve faced. you dont know how much you’ll be earning when you graduate, nor do you know where that job may be. Your income may only cover your housing and personal expenses with too little to pay back loans. Even the basic Stafford Direct Loans will mean a monthly payment that is equivalent to a car payment…in addition to any real car payment you may have, plus your living expenses. "</p>
<p>I would also tell her: "A few of the SUNYs, CUNYs and other schools do give large merit scholarships for strong stats (high gpa and high test scores). If going away to school is truly your dream, then you need to do the work NOW in order to have some of these options. "</p>
<p>you will be able to see within the coming months how much she is willing to work for her dream. if she wont work hard and expects loans to bail out the situation, then you know that she doesnt have the right mindset for this. </p>
<p>The way I have personally viewed transfer students who have finished two solid years of college satisfactorily and now have full junior status, is that they are worth taking some risk for, to get that degree, hopefully in two years. Their mettle has been tested, and they have proven they have the discipline to do college work. The risks are still out there that they will be successful in getting their bachelor’s but meeting someone half way is fair. At age 18, to send a kid away to school is pure luxury. </p>
<p>I have not even begun to address your DD’s severe dyslexia and discalculia. IMO, kids with learning, behaviorial, any kind of disability that makes things questionable are better off at home with a supportive parents helping them with the college transition. Do you know how many kids bomb out who are 100% capable with zero dxed issues, no thought or sign of them? There is so much going on at college and all of those nasty mood disorders, and conditions all rear their ugly heads about this time in a young person’s life, and we all pray that they are temporary. There are social issues , maturing issues, executive function needs to be honed, on top of having to deal with much more difficult academics. After two years of dealing with this with your DD will give you AND her a better idea s to what she needs to do, how she has to function, the type of support she needs to complete college courses and she’ll be a lot more mature and able to advocate for herself and seek the services she needs. You throw her in as a freshman with all of those kids and just pray that she works it out on her own? I think you are nuts in that regard as well. She may well need to take a third year of general courses even after getting two successful years done, and can do this when she completes two years at home, so that the academic difficulty is reduced even further, as well as the transition. There is a huge difference between a 18 year old, still teenager and a 20 year, soon to be 21 and legal in so many more things. Absolutely enormous difference in maturity. Don’t throw her into an academic lion’s den by letting her just go off to school. It can be a difficult transition without learning issues in the picture.</p>
<p>I am agreeing with the others. First of all, it is difficult to get acceptance into SUNY with poor Regents scores, even if you have a stellar GPA. I saw this happen to several people. To improve scores, do as many practice exams as possible. It will make a big difference. Secondly, check out your local community college. You may be very surprised. Even more, if fed and state grants end up paying for her to go (which is possible) imagine how wonderful it will feel for you to know that her first 2 years are paid in full! </p>
<p>I also want to to bring up the fact that if you do send your DD away to school and she bombs out, it could affect future finanical aid so that her next and other year options are far more limited. You do have to meet certain standards of completion and grades to get that aid, you know. You drop too many courses, do poorly, you lose it and have a sit out period. For someone who NEEDS that money, that’s a huge risk to take. My one son lost a scholarship which was quite the blow. In your situation, to lose federal/state funding eligibility for your DD could end her school options for a while. Do what you can to minimize that risk. The money does have some performance strings attached. </p>
<p>This is true. and often when kids drop classes or don’t complete enough credits, they end up owing the school money for aid that was given for those classes.</p>
<p>I dont know how career-limiting those disabilities are, particularly the dyscalculia, but it seems to me that many higher paying professions would not be feasible. if that is true, then that is another reason to avoid loans as much as possible. </p>
<p>Your D is too young to understand all this. many kids think, "wow, I’m going to be making XXXXX when I graduate so I’ll have plenty of money to make those big loan payments and still have a lot leftover. " These kids have no idea how much they’ll be paying in taxes and FICA as single-earners with no dependents/deductions. And, these kids aren’t used to paying rent, utilities, cell phone, internet, cable, health insurance, car payments, car insurance, food, and all the other life expenses. They have no idea how much of their income will already be spoken for.</p>
<p>I know that you have generously offered to help with her loans once you are back on your feet, but please do the math. You will likely be in your late 40s or early 50s when that happens. You likely have too little set-aside for retirement. That is where any extra money should be going. You cant work forever.</p>
<p>That’s not true. It depends on how the child is taught. Students with dyscalculia, dysgraphia, and dyslexia aren’t unable to learn, they just have different learning styles than those used in most public schools. I’m a visual learner. If my entire educational program was aurally based, I wouldn’t have had the grades and test scores that I did. If public schools used only the methods appropriate for these students, those with these conditions would do much better, but visual learners might not fare so well. If a child with dyscalculia, dyslexia, and/or dysgraphia is taught to automaticity (starting in grade school), they can accomplish anything. If they aren’t, it can take longer, but they’re still capable of accomplishing whatever they want. Beryl Benacerraf is a 1976 grad from Harvard Medical School who also happens to have dyslexia. Matthew Schneps, an astrophysicist at the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics, is dyslexic. Franklin, Edison, and Einstein are all suspected to have had dyscalculia. So did architect Jorn Utzon. Agatha Christie is thought to have had dysgraphia. People with these conditions are neither stupid nor slow. They just learn differently.</p>
<p>Students with dyslexia, dyscalculia, and dysgraphia who go to college, as freshmen, are no more likely to crash and burn than neurotypical students. Investigate the services each school offers, make sure the student has the required paperwork if any accommodations are needed, and let her go. My brother-in-law’s severely dyslexic child did 4 years at Bowdoin with no issues and is currently attending a grad program at BU. If any child, neurotypical or otherwise, seems unready for college, I’d suggest a gap year. A student with dyslexia, dyscalculia, and/or dysgraphia who isn’t academically ready needs further remediation. I wouldn’t advise tossing them into community college. Continue remediation for another year, then reapply to whatever colleges they’re interested in attending.</p>
<p>Austin, that is absolutely not true. Students with any kind of disability are far more likley to crash and burn. That is something that many disabled parents groups are protesting. Yes, it is certainly possible for for those with even severe disabilities even without help to make it. Yes, most schools have some services, but many are lip service, and much, so much depends upon the individual student. </p>
<p>If such students are successful, more power to them, I’m in the front row applauding. If a family has the resources to risk that sort of thing just sending a kid straight out of high schools without the type of grades showing that this is an student who has been putting forth extraordinary effort and has been able to very well surmount these issues and work with resources available, I say go for it. Kid doesn’t make it, all is lost is the semester or year and the MONEY. For a family in bankruptcy who is DEPENDING upon federal, state aid to get the kid through school, not making it has some dire consequences in terms of future money. You can’t just throw away a term and then get next year’s money from the federal and state government, just like that. You have to appeal and hope it happens–and it may not. It can be a very costly chance to take when the financial resources are not there. </p>
<p>In this specific case, we are talking about a bankrupt family who is looking at LOANS as well as whatever the state and fed govt will give to send a kid away to a state school with SUNY Buffalo and Potsdam specifically mentioned. Look at the 6 year completion rates for those schools over all. Not reassuring. </p>
<p>I suggest doing something much more affordable with some parental guidance, getting this teenager accustomed to using the resources, accommodations locally, and then if the kid looks like she can do it, taking the big bucks gamble of sending her away to a sleep away school. And for now we are not talking about a small private LAC, top of the top school like Bowdoin, but a SUNY. A whole other story. I’ve had a kid in each, and can tell you that it’s a big difference. I don’t suggest tossing a kid anywhere, but gradually weaning kid from parental support, patterning them into use of the college resources and accommodations, getting them used to college level work before sending the kid off to be by herself 24/7 in a residential situation. </p>
<p>I have to agree with those saying it would be crazy to take on loans to send your daughter away. Surely your daughter is mature enough to understand how limited your finances are, what a burden the loans will be, and how devastating the bankruptcy is. You of all people should be able to say no to this. </p>
<p>You should both also be considering the points made above, that she is at higher risk to crash and burn, and she is less likely to end up in a high paying field due to her discalculia. Set a good example for her and make the responsible choice. She’s probably also dreamed of going to Paris or owning a Mercedes but you can’t just say yes to things you can’t afford just because it’s a “dream”.</p>
<p>A family I’ve known for a very long time, made the difficult decision to keep their DD who had issues (in this case not learning) that they felt were not resolved to the point of not having parental monitoring, and that needed more time, in a commuting situation even though that DD was an excellent student with acceptances to schools like Bowdoin and money was not a pressing issue. And, yes, there were issues and problems that benefitted greatly from parents being there and on the watch. Could she have succeeded had she gone away, and even excelled? Yes. But not a whole lot more as she did so well locally, but the problem is that the downside of that risk was the issue, not the upside. When things all work out just fine, it’s worth it, but when the possible consequences are such that suffering them can be a terrible blow, not just an “oh, well, so it didn’t work out”, then you think long and hard about them. So even if there is no increased risk in terms of a situation, the odds in general are not so great, and this particular student is not really all that strong right now, so why gamble that kind of money which can be a future problem on a kid’s desire to go to sleep away college? </p>