@Sue22 I guess I never thought about it that way. When I talked to her she kept telling me she was un-sure. She just kept asking me what I thought, and I don’t really know how to respond. I guess i’ll just let her do XC to open up more tell for her to enjoy her interests without pushing the fear of college on her. I guess she only is a freshmen after all. Thanks.
I think that for this question, my daughter said it best when she told me “Mom, you have to look at the big picture!” The big picture is the academics, not athletics. There is little chance that it matters in any measurable way whether which of those two sports options she chooses. Freeing up THAT much time to focus on academics and just in general, have more time for academics – this seems most important to me too. Her course work rigor and grades help her application more AND it helps her more for her actual performance in college. Of course, if her personal passion is the more time consuming sport, well, that makes the choice more complicated.
In an objective sense, running is a better choice than crew for a young human who wants lifelong fitness habits - running can be done anywhere, anytime, with or without others and with no special equipment, from ages 1 to 101. (Not that I’m a good runner, but I admire those who are.)
I told my boys (one mediocre swimmer and one mediocre runner so far) that even if they never beat anyone in any competitive sense, even if they lose or are cut out at every meet, that no one can take away the increased lung capacity and decreased blood pressure.
As a teacher I see kids/families make a poor decision sometimes of undervaluing sleep. If a kid adds on all kinds of commuting and activities, and still enrolls for “Honors” or AP classes, s/he may get worse grades, and no one wants that outcome in the CC context.
I don’t agree that recruited athletes all started in Kindergarten and were washed up by third grade if they aren’t starters. My daughter did start early, but she was very small and even through high school was small. She wasn’t going to be recruited by a top program, but had a lot of opportunities across all divisions with athletic and merit scholarships at D1 and D2, and admission help at some top D3 schools. Her team even had 4 soccer players who had never played lax before. One even left soccer and now only plays lax (life’s more fun when you can hit with a stick). With over 500 schools offering women’s lax, there is a team for everyone but everyone isn’t going to get into Maryland or Syracuse and very few are going to get full scholarships.
My nephew played at an elite level, and while a few of his friends and teammates play in college, a good number of them do not. These are kid who won state championships, were All Americans, but were just done with sports, leaving spots for others in college.
While I don’t think rowing should be chosen with hopes of getting into college, it is a really fun and challenging activity and I don’t think it should be dismissed if the child wants to try it. It isn’t like other sports where you can just try it for an 8 week session at the rec center, but takes a commitment of time and money to really get a sense of what it is like and what it requires.
The bests thing you can do, in my opinion, to help a freshman early in high school are:
- to begin broad early discussions about potential interests and college options now. Not to make decisions, but to start them thinking about it, and discussing pros and cons with you as they are taking classes and planning future schedules.
- to spend a little time on naviance (if your school offers it) and understand the grades and test score levels that students from your school need to be admitted to a wide range of schools, and incorporate that into your discussion. That will begin to give her an understanding of why good grades and solid rigor matter.
- to encourage her to choose the sport that she will enjoy, and do it for her. Many girls don't grow a lot taller in high school, but some do. Often kids begin a sport long before they know if they will be the right size to be really good at it. If she likes crew, she is the perfect size for a coxswain now. I would encourage her to pursue it even if she ends up growing later. It is still a good experience, and you really don't know how big she will get. If she wants to run cross country, that is an excellent experience too. She will benefit most from doing the one she wants to do.
In my view, athletics are more important for girls than boys. If they enjoy it, and even more so if they have any level of ability, I believe it develops self confidence, positive self image, strong work ethic, a deep understanding of what it means to be part of a team, how to compete, the amount of effort that it really takes to be good at something, and an ability to manage a packed schedule. I think either one of these has the potential to provide those benefits.
- to show her that you see it as your job to challenge her to take risks and try new things, to encourage her to set the bar high for herself, to support her, and to consistently show her that you believe in her and her abilities when she puts her mind to something.
What would she be doing if there were no such thing as college?
THAT’S what she should do.
@brantly Thank you so much. I think that is the best piece of advice I have ever been given. That changes my opinions on how about… EVERYTHING!
The OP lives in Massachusetts.
Our HS X country team welcomed anyone who wanted to participate. They did NOT have to train for months during the summer…or even weeks. There were some kids who didn’t even come to practices before school started. Didn’t matter…they could still be on our X country team.
YMMV depending on the school.
@brantly "What would she be doing if there were no such thing as college?
THAT’S what she should do."
I am not sure what this means? I think perhaps you talking about the sports? Then I agree.
I don’t think you mean, don’t worry about grades, and rigor?
@Much2learn It means that she should do whatever ECs and activities that she desires without regard to what looks good to colleges. Be sincere and genuine in your pursuits.
If she really loves to row, and she really wants to row in college, and she would like go to an ivy than pick that. She will still have a life somehow because busy people do more.
Rowing will not get her into an Ivy. Running X country won’t prevent her from getting accepted at an Ivy.
She should do,the sport she wants to do.
Aaaaaagggghhhhhh!
Baarf!
Baarf!
Baarf!
You have no role to play here. No activity will help her college admissions process.
It is what it is.
Just let her be.
Let her do whatever she finds meaningful even if it’s nothing.
What will be will be.
Park the helicopter and let HER figure out who she is.
Anything less and you are stunting her development.
^Let’s not overreact. I agree that the decision should primarily rest with the daughter (see post #37) but
In other words if the daughter were to choose crew someone, probably mom, would have to pick this kid up at school and drive her to and from the boathouse 6 days a week. The family would also have to spend money they wouldn’t if she were to continue with school-based activities. Activities like this can become a family commitment, so it’s not unreasonable that mom have some input.
Recruited athletes have a tremendous advantage in admissions. If this is the rowing program I think it is it’s a very high quality program and the top kids it produces do quite well in college admissions. Every girl in the top boat has ended up at an Ivy League school for at least the past few years. I know one of them. Nice, hardworking kid, but in middle school no one would have pegged her as Ivy material. She started rowing and it was apparent from the start she loved it and was willing to fully commit to it almost to the point of obsession.
The fact that the OP’s daughter has done a 6-week rowing program and is still waffling about which sport to do tells me she probably doesn’t have the ardor to end up playing either at a D1 program. But then what do I know? I don’t know this family personally; I’m just some anonymous schmuck on the internet!
@ElleLakes wrote
She has a good shot of remaining that size if she’s a freshman in high school already. I’m 5’9" and my husband is 6’4". Our daughters at 17 and 16 are 5’8" and 5’7", and haven’t grown for about a year. My mother was over 6 feet tall. It doesn’t always follow that tall begets tall.
I think you want to let her do what she’s doing now and is enjoying-coxswain. IF she grows too big to do that (unlikely, at this point, in my opinion-tiny freshmen girls don’t usually shoot up to become tall sophomores, unlike the boys), then she can do something else rowing-related.
Do NOT try to play the college admissions resume game!!!
Regarding sports. A healthy addition to music and academics to a HS student’s activities.
Regarding cross country. I HATE to run, I’m a walker. Husband and son are runners. Son joined hiss CC team as a freshman. His school has huge numbers of both boys and girls in CC- 60 of each gender when he was there (around 2000 students- overcrowded but the extra HS was voted down, partly because some parents were afraid they would be redistricted to a less desired HS).
Cross country practice meant every participant ran every day after school. The most experienced/better runners ran further. At meets there were 4 races- JV and Varsity girls and boys. All team members ran the same race for their gender. Only 8 could be varsity, the rest ran JV. You can imagine the flood of my son’s HS runners in the JV races. Who made varsity depended on one’s times in the previous race- runners bumped each other from the race all of the time. This was a wonderful experience- no bench sitting.
Other seasons. Runners could use the indoor track for walking or running during the winter. The hard core distance runners usually ran outdoors- despite snowy conditions and cold. So kids could keep up with the physical activity. Some of the distance (CC) runners joined the track team, likewise varsity and JV races. Others did a different spring sport.
In college most do not expect to make a competitive team. Not a reason to choose a D3 college over a D1 school. Choose colleges for the overall academic and other fit. Most schools will have some sort of club or other running activity. My son’s school (UW-Madison, with elite running sports teams) had a club level CC team that allowed participation in meets t other regional colleges/U’s. Plus there was a more casual running club. In addition anyone can do distance running on their own. HS CC team membership will give the training do’s and don’ts to help prevent injuries.
Regarding Crew. I still remember the girls in my dorm who joined it at UW many decades ago. Perhaps I should have. Today it would not be that easy to walk in with no athletic ability or experience due to the increase in HS opportunities.
Overall running is a much better lifetime sport. btw- most (not all) of the CC team were top students. Son was with academically likeminded peers. Not dumb jocks. Many also in music and academic activities. Plus, perhaps uniquely, they had a great social experience with after meet parent run parties (suppers).
Addenda. CC meets are fun to watch.
I love rowing and had a child that competed. BUT transportation was an issue and the estimated 3000 cost per year (rowing fall and spring seasons but no summer camps) was, in retrospect, too much. also there were some reasons we encouraged the 5 day a week practice for that kid, but for a typical kid out there i believe it would be more harm than good, especially if it’s club rowing with kid from other schools at a distant boathouse. I vote CC, or something else that kid decides!
For what its worth, my neighbor’s daughter got a FULL RIDE plus$$ to be a coxswain at U of Oklahoma (she is from NJ) - she is an average student and an average (at least for around here - we live in an ultra-competitive crew area) coxswain. She also had many other $$ college scholarships to be a coxswain.
Many, many coxswain in our area (it is a power crew area) get big$$ to row in college…
That said she has to love it bc it is very time consuming, intensive and expensive to participate in hs rowing -