Hi, I’m old here, so I have no clue how these kids do wedding invites. Way back in the day, we’d do an outer envelope, and the inner envelope would tell which members of the household were actually invited (Joe and guest, the whole family, just the parents, etc.). There would be a response card with a stamped envelope (or not, if you were Southern or just from a WASP background) and it would be really clear who was invited.
Now the rules are not as clear.
We’re ordering my D’s invites soon and she had the idea to print the response URL on the invites, but include response cards and envelopes only for those over, say 40. Is this a good plan? She thinks most of their friends will respond online. I think many of ours will, but some will need the response card.
We did not have an inner envelope. The names of those invited was on the envelope.
We chose to use written response cards, but I’m at the pont where I wish we had done the response online. It’s very easy to do on most wedding websites…and you can customize each person’s RSVP to what the are invited to. For example…some people might not be invited to the rehearsal dinner…but would be invited to a meet and greet, wedding, and brunch.
Plus online there is NO place for adding unvited guests to the RSVP…although I guess I would rather have a write in that some random uninvited guest the day of the wedding.
For the online RSVP we have gotten, there has been a little card insert in the invitation that says the name of the wedding website, and password, and a note saying, Please RSVP by going to our website.
I don’t think the URL to the website should be printed on the invitation itself. My opinion.
We just got an invite with the option of mail in or online RSVP. Not sire if that’s because we are old…or not!
@Thumper1, did the little card also double as a response card? I don’t want to use response cards, envelopes and stamps if people aren’t going to use them,but I also want to be clear. If we print the URL on the response cards rather than the invitations, that means we still have to send response cards to everyone.
I’d rather just have everyone respond online, but I know that some of my older relatives won’t get it.
We sent out nicely printed invitations, but only used online RSVP. As mentioned by thumper1, our RSVP online only allowed people RSVP to events they were invited to and only people who were invited could RSVP, so there was no surprised +1. The website was sophisticated enough that if a couple or family were invited to the wedding, each person could decide which event he/she wants to attend. I think because the website was so easy to use that we got responses back from everyone way ahead of expected time. There were a handful of people D1 had to chase, but all she did was to send an email or text with the url for the website.
One thing I liked very much of D1’s website is it was not searchable online. If you googled her name the wedding website wouldn’t show up.
I am not a fan of paper RSVP.
“Please respond to our invitation by visiting our website at www.blah blah blah”
No place to put names, no meal choices, no who is attending…nothing but a please respond by going to the website.
It was a little card…with the info printed on it. We had inserts on our invites printed on velum which is a Sheer paper. You could use something like that.
I think many people still think paper RSVP is more proper, but logistically it could be more difficult. Sometimes people don’t put their names down when replying, so people on the wedding thread have suggested to put numbers on the RSVP cards to identify guests. With the paper RSVP you would also need to update your spreadsheet as to who is coming. With online response, you can just download it.
I think etiquette is evolving as time changes, so do what makes sense for you.
Just got invitation with url for response printed directly on it. They used the knot. No response cards.
The envelope should be clear as to who is invited. A plus-one should be indicated as “and Guest”.
S & DIL, who did their own planning, used paper invitations and online RSVPs. The only person who had trouble with the online RSVP was my 80-something yo aunt who asked her boss (yes, she still works!) to do it for her. She also called me to tell me too.
My S and DIL used paper invitations with paper response cards/stamped envelopes, numbered as @oldfort mentioned above. The envelopes were addressed to those who were invited and there was no inner envelope, though there was a vellum sheet to protect the print from bleeding. There was a third insert with a note to go to the website (with URL) for information on hotels and transportation. For us (mostly MOB and me), this was a negotiated compromise since we are the “old folks!” The kids would’ve probably done it all online.
My daughter and her husband used paper invitations and online RSVPs, just like @shellfell’s son. There was no postal mail option. Nobody seemed to have trouble with it, but there were no very elderly guests. The few people who didn’t respond by the deadline got e-mails or phone calls from the bride or groom.
The only enclosure in the invitation envelope was a card giving the URL and PIN number for the wedding website, which is where guests had to go to RSVP (and where they could also find hotel recommendations, the registry, and other information).
My D and future SIL used paper invitations (no inside envelopes) and paper RSVPs. The envelopes included an invitation to the ceremony, a separate card with details about the reception and the url of the wedding website, and a stamped reply postcard. Each postcard was numbered as oldfort indicated.
No online reply was offered at all.
It all worked well for them - 100% of the invitees responded on time and no unwanted +ones. I argued for inner envelopes but was voted down!!
I have been invited to several weddings with responses online only and some where guests choose online or sending in response cards. As far as I know there were no problems. H is >75, but techier than I, but I was the one who went to the website as I keep track of our social calendar.
The wedding we are going to in June is all paper. The only online thing was the hotel booking. Now they are an older couple. My daughter’s wedding was all online and a couple of her friends we RSVP’d online.
Just got an invitation from my 25-year-old niece and her fiance. They are nerdy types. The invitation is very informal, it’s pretty but not formally printed - just color laser printed on a sheet of fancy paper, and folded in half. It The basic invitation is on the front (nice typography and graphics of a phoenix and a dragon), and when opened, the left side provides four options for RSVP - website, email, phone numbers or a ‘snail mail’ address.There is no card to send back or return envelope. The right side of the inside is directions and maps, and the back is blank.
Very non-traditional.
The website has a form to fill out to RSVP, but I just checked it, and it is broken. Have contacted niece to fix.
I remember when wedding invitations were super expensive and very formal. Now with VistaPrint and other online companies invites are relatively inexpensive and you have so many choices. I was able to get awesome high school grad party invites for less than $25 (I think it was 50 of them) and everyone loved them…they were fun and informal. I also had my own wedding invites done online about five years ago for a low price, formal and sweet with RSVP cards (yea, I’m old school and everyone invited was 50+ as well).