Weird interviewer?

DD had the oddest experience last week. It’s only just occurring to me to wonder if it was even real. Are there people out there pretending to be college interviewers who are not?

I just emailed the following to the school and I really wonder whether this was a scam. I delayed contacting the school well first, because I was busy but also because doing so puts one at significant jeopardy I imagine. Parents complaining cannot possibly be a good thing for one’s kid’s application. But as I think more and more on it - and this interviewer never did respond after failing to appear or after learning that “rescheduling” was not possible - I think this was off-color. I am glad I did not let the kid drive to the meeting place alone (at least).

So how badly is kid hurt, either by the non-happening interview or nosey-parent’s letter?:

I am the parent of an applicant. I would like to note a rather unusual event, one that makes me not a little bit uneasy about your school, its reputation notwithstanding, quite frankly.

My child was contacted by a local interviewer. This representative arranged with my child to meet alone. My child was told it was important that this meeting be sooner than later, before the New Year or else it was unlikely her application would be considered. It was said she would be “at a significant disadvantage” if this interview were not conducted immediately.

My child arranged (all without my knowledge) to meet this interviewer, though the arrangements were difficult between juggling her commitments as a competitive swimmer and also her finals schedule. Agreeing in advance to scratch her swimming finals (not a good thing to do from her coach’s perspective), a meeting was setup at a local McDonald’s. On the day of this interview after significantly impacting her schedule and mine, too, she texted the interviewer simply to confirm the appointment. An hour before the appointment the interviewer inquired, vaguely, by text as to whether it might be “possible to reschedule for next week”.

Next week was not possible as it happens, because our family was traveling for the holidays.

Contacting an interviewee so close to the appointed time, and with such an indefinite statement - the meeting was never specifically canceled, just inquired as to whether it was “possible” to reschedule it - is simply unfair. It was not even clear whether the meeting was being canceled and no further clarification was sent in this regard.

On reviewing the whole situation then, my husband even suggested the entire meeting sounded suspicious (we live in a big city after all). I therefore accompanied my child in the driving rain to this ill-fated meeting, not to hover over an interview but because it had suddenly started to sound quite illegitimate.

The interviewer did not appear.

Indeed I am left now wondering whether in fact this contact was even from one of your staff.

At the very least it seems improper to conduct a business interview in the space of another, unrelated and uncompensated business. Does McDonald’s approve of conducting … interviews in their dining room? Was the interviewee expected to purchase a Big Mac in exchange for the use of their facilities? As a rule our family does not visit McDonalds although it is true that we ate at one once in response to my kid’s direct request to sample this iconic staple. My distaste for the chain does not extend to believing they deserve to be turned into an interviewing locale for an unrelated commercial concern unbeknownst to them.

I would appreciate a response at least assuring me that this interviewer is known to you. If not, then perhaps the security of your application system is compromised? It had never occurred to me to worry about all this but arranging strange, inconvenient meetings in slightly “sketch”, if public, places just doesn’t seem like the sort of relationship you would condone among incipient students. I suppose it is possible this process could be destabilized and you would surely wish to know this. Perhaps it is important for all of us to warn our students to be wary of arranging a meeting with unverified “interviewers”?

I can be contacted …

Thank you.

I think you should contact the school, though your letter wanders way off track (the issue of whether you go to MscDonalds, whether they allow interviews - they won’t stop them). I don’t know why you think it’s the security of the app system that was compromised. Do any of your D’s friends know she was applying to this school? Could it have been a joke from them? And I have to wonder how/why your D did all this arranging without you knowing about it, particularly scratching swimming finals (does that mean a competition). Just too many questions at this point. I do agree a letter to the college is in order though I would have made mine more fact based.

so…an alumni interviewer doing it for free and wanted to meet in a McDonald’s or Starbucks etc…happens everyday.
and they cancelled…it happens too. the person came across as hurried to do the interview they are donating their time and probably trying to squeeze in the interview…happens too. nothing out of the norm. I hope you did not send the email to the school already, it sounds like a helicopter parent looking for problems and your child has not even been accepted.

would you prefer he conducted the interview in a hotel room?
when two people go on a first date for coffee at Starbucks is that not an interview? do you think that McD’s or, a coffee shop minds people grabbing food and talking at their establishment?
in fact if my daughter was doing an interview with a stranger I would only want it in a public place and I would not sit with them but I would be either in the restaurant sitting far away or at least outside the door!

Most interviews now take place in public places, like Starbucks. That part isn’t weird at all.

Interviews are generally in public places, like a Starbucks or something unless the school has a set place for them. So that is not odd.

I would drop it. More harm can be done than any good with your letter.

The sarcastic attitude about McDonalds is very unpleasant.

When I think about how much my friends put on social media about their dream schools and their applications a cringe. Not saying that’s the case here, but it sounds very creepy. Agree with @“Erin’s Dad” about the McDonalds tangent, it kind of detracted from the serious nature of this potential problrm.

I agree with Erin’s Dad, I think the following points are distracting:

It seems like here you’re either subtly blaming your daughter for going behind your back, or else painting yourself as a helicopter parent.

For this part, I think you’re wrong. Most interviews are conducted in places like cafes or Starbucks. It’s just not an issue, the chain does not care that their facilities are being used for an “unrelated commercial concern unbeknownst to them.” I mean really, what’s the other option? The interviewer rents out an office space at a local corporate building? The only interview I went on was at a coffee shop. I ordered a coffee “in exchange for the use of their facilities.”

The real (only?) issue is the interviewer didn’t show up and was ambiguous about meeting.

“I think you should contact the school, though your letter wanders way off track …”

In the future, keep it simple. State the concern, make the inquiry about the legitimacy of the interviewer, and state that you request the courtesy of a response at this busy time.

This must have stressed you terribly, so I hope you learn that the interviewer was simply someone the school had newly begun to work with, and that they will re-train, re-direct or discontinue to ask this person to represent them as interviewer. Glad your child is safe.

I sure wish you had asked us before emailing this letter to the school. Way too much info/too many tangents. Having worked in a college admissions office, I would wonder if this letter might “make the rounds” amongst the admin counselors and indirectly change the focus of your child’s admissions from her stats to her parents.

All you needed to do was say “My D skipped a high level swim championship meet in order to meet the interviewer’s tight schedule, and the interview never ended up happening. Is this interviewer someone you use regularly? If so, I wanted you to know of this situation and how it impacted our family.”

Interviews regularly take place at coffee shops and fast food restaurants. If I was an interviewer, I would not want to reveal personal information like where I work or live to an applicant. It is much safer for everyone to meet in a public place.

And to throw in your dislike of McDonald’s food is just off the charts. (I agree that the food is awful and my family doesn’t eat there. But it is inappropriate and just muddies the real purpose of your letter.)

So here’s the actual story, apparently. The local interviewer e-mailed the student to set up an interview. They exchanged e-mails trying to find a mutually convenient time, and the interviewer said it was important to do it soon so the interview could be considered. They agreed on a time and place–a public location. Just before the interview, the interviewer requested a change in time, and then didn’t show up at the previously arranged time.

There’s really nothing weird about any of that. There may have simply been a misunderstanding about whether the interview had been cancelled or not, and I would blame the interviewer for not making that clear. You could send a message to the school saying that your interview was cancelled at the last moment, but that’s really about it.

My daughter wanted to set up an interview last year. She emailed one of the interviewers from a list provided by the school. He did not respond. She emailed a second interviewer from the list provided by the school. He did not respond. She finally emailed a third interviewer from the list, and this person was located about 25 minutes away (no big deal). I drove with her and waited in the car while they interviewed inside Panera. They both ordered a drink and sat down at a table for about 45 minutes.

I would have had your daughter email the school to tell them that she had an interview scheduled, the interviewer sent her a vague text asking if it was possible to meet at a different time, and then did not keep the appointment at McDonalds even though it was not technically cancelled.

Meeting for interviews in public places is very common. Kids meet at Panera, Starbucks, diners, etc all the time.

I haven’t interviewed anyone this year, but I used to meet at a Starbucks.

I’m an older female and I still feel the need to protect myself from allegations that I did something inappropriate during the interview. Male interviewers are generally even more concerned about that. That’s one reason why many interviews are scheduled for public places.

Many of my interviewees come from poor families. Despite that, many insist on paying for their own beverage. Even Starbucks is a stretch for some of them.

I think the OP sounds like every college administrator’s nightmare parent.

@jonri You must be tempted to fib and tell them the college is paying…

My daughter had one weird alum interview - starbucks on valentines night at like 9 pm.(was supposed to be earlier and he was delayed) I sat in the car and watched from the parking lot (since the entire thing seemed strange). He was legit, but it was strange.

Oh good grief. Your letter is SO long-winded. Get to the point.

Is it normal for a college interview to happen at a McDonald’s? Sure. Starbucks is nicer and more of the usual default, but McDonald’s serves the same purpose.

Is it normal for an interviewer to cancel? Sure. People have lives. He could have had a personal or business emergency. It happens. Don’t be so arrogant that you think your kid’s interview is the only important thing in this guy’s life. He could have been more clear, but your kid could have also texted back to confirm.

Who cares that you don’t like McDonald’s? I don’t eat there either, but it’s completely irrelevant. It’s where the interviewer preferred to meet. It wasn’t about your family’s personal dining preferences.

And why do you think it’s sketchy to meet with your kid “alone”? He’s not interviewing you. If you are there for transport purposes, your role is to be invisible. Sit in the car or run errands.

If your kid had his text number then by definition he had his phone number. CALL and confirm “you’re canceling this afternoon, right? How is next Wednesday?”

“It had never occurred to me to worry about all this but arranging strange, inconvenient meetings in slightly “sketch”, if public, places just doesn’t seem like the sort of relationship you would condone among incipient students”

How would you have reacted if the interviewer had invited the kid to his house?
And as for “inconvenient” - it’s too bad your kid has a busy life, but we all do. It’s not about the convenience for you. It’s about the convenience for the interviewer, who is doing your kid / the school a favor. He gets to set the time / place (within reason).

Kiddie - why is Valentine’s night strange? Normal adults don’t have their worlds stop just because it’s Valentine’s Day.

Wow, “…every college administrator’s nightmare parent…”

I had no idea. From some the perspective is I’m too passive, from others too wandering, from others too clueless, etc, etc.

sigh.

I just can’t understand how I’m being a “nightmare” though?!

Bottom line is, there was inconvenience and trust from this end, and disrespect from the other. I get it we all have lives, but that goes all around. This event instilled problems in our family’s schedule and as one responder noted, not a small amount of stress and retroactive second-guessing and wondering from me.

But how can I be both “helicoptering” and insufficiently involved, as implied by many?

Well, harms’ done I guess. Now I’m also guilty in addition to helicoptering, and woefully inadequate parenting-wise. (And I really do wish I’d thought to inquire here before posting. guiltguiltguiltguiltguilt…)

Thanks for all the thoughts about this.

Good thing is kid’s into her first choice school (UofC), so this is just gravy and ego-bashing at this point.

And BTW - the “unpleasantness” noted by many regarding the McDonald’s tangent … you’re right, that’s back there in my mind and is some of the reason I didn’t respond earlier; I just couldn’t get over that. I doubt very, very, very much that kids from a non-poor school would be being asked to an interview at McDonalds. There’s no way to test this assertion, or not easily by me at least. But I strongly suspect this is an incredibly unpleasant cultural reaction to the interviewee’s home school. I really, really object.

So OK, maybe I am a"nightmare parent".