It seems that OP is a new member and is maybe not familiar with how forums on CC work ,and that may be why she is taking observations and recommendations made by other members of as personal attack or reflection on her( although it does appear that this may be a trend) . I may be wrong, but it appears that OP’s intent was to come on the forum and vent about a situation , and was surprised by all the responses.
She posted the text of an email already sent, in which she questioned the choice of McD.
Seriously, this is how microaggressions arise. Zero evidence to suggest the interviewer chose McD for any reason other than convenience. A simple choice got turned around into a diatribe of an assumption that the guy was classist and just keeping this student “where she belonged” and that he would have met other students in better places. Not to mention a diatribe on the business practices of McD - as if going there for an interview implies complete and total endorsement of every corporate McD practice. There’s enough of this going on in the 18 yo set, we don’t need it in the 40 yo set.
I daresay if the interviewer had chosen SB, it could have been interpreted as a microaggression against poor people who would be uncomfortable in a yuppie-ish place and who don’t have $5 for a latte and look how they exploit the indigenous people in coffee growing regions so that yuppies can have fancy coffee, and besides it’smore authentic to choose a mom and pop coffee shop over Big Business. Can’t win.
"After all the ink spilled here, I have far more appreciation for the interviewer’s dilemma and sympathy for the decision to settle on McD. "
What dilemma? He chose a public spot that is convenient to him. If you asked me to meet a kid in my suburban neighborhood, I’d pick one of the 2 SB that are within walking distance of the high school. They’re convenient and conducive to conversation. There are other places I could choose, but I don’t HAVE to consider the pros and cons of the McD, the Peets, the Dunkin Donuts, Panera, etc from a nutritional standpoint or a corporate-policy standpoint. I would make a decision and be done and not add unnecessary angst to a non-issue.
I’ve been an alumni interview for 30+ years. Just want to clarify a couple things for any future readers.
- Some schools mandate that interviews take place in public places and recommend coffee shops, etc. We are not allowed to conduct interviews in private homes.
- Some schools give the student's name and contact info to a volunteer alum and the alum then contacts the student directly. Often the assignment is made by another volunteer and not school staff. There is no scam or impersonation going on.
I realize there are some highly class conscious people out there, but I think the vast majority of people do NOT think “I’m interviewing a poor person so I’ll meet at MacDonald’s; I’m interviewing a rich person so I’ll meet at Starbucks.” Interviewers do not see the tax returns of their students so have no idea of the student’s financial resources or their socio-economic class.
Finding a good location for an interview is a challenge. I dislike my local crowded coffee shops where people can overhear the interview (after one interview, when the student left, the person sitting next to me started a conversation with me about everything she had just heard. Yuck.) My goal is to find a public place that is as empty as possible, and if a MacDonald’s fit the bill I’d go there. I really miss the good old days when it was safe to interview in my house, but that ship has sailed.
To add to Fire and Rain’s fine post- ironically, the McD’s closest to my office has a pretty luxe restroom set up- always clean, rarely a line for the women’s room, hooks for your coat and bags. The Starbucks (across the street) has one room for both men and women; always a line, no space to stash your stuff if you are coming home from work.
So pity the volunteer interviewer- suggest the McD’s and be seen as a cultural imperialist making a judgement about the kids soc/ec status, or suggest the Starbucks and have to balance a tote bag, handbag and/or coat on the sink?
To everyone with a HS kid doing their alumni interviews- I know the process is stressful, but the alum is a volunteer balancing work, home, serving on Boards/volunteering for other organizations at the same time- just like you. He/She is honestly not trying to make the interview an obnoxious part of the process. Sometimes the suggested location is just not feasible (only accessible by car which your kid doesn’t have) in which case feel free to have your kid suggest another. But recognize that not every “convenient for my kid” locale is suitable for an interview.
Well, I would like to add a couple of thoughts:
First, the letter is understandable coming from a stressed parent. It is also done. Don’t EVEN worry about it! We all have “weird” parents, or parents who have “weird” days. A school will not hold that against us.
Second, the letter did not achieve a goal of requesting action. A second short (3 sentences or so) email -or phone call- should be sent by the applicant requesting an interview with a different interviewer, after the holidays, since the originally arranged interview was cancelled and not re-scheduled.
Third, the student should be encouraged to suggest an alternate venue if s/he is uncomfortable with what the interviewer suggested. My DD just last week suggested moving the venue from a crowded Starbucks to a less-crowded nearby Peet’s- no issue whatsoever. The interview should be in a location that is safe, comfortable, and neutral (including in terms of “power,” e.g., an office puts the power in the interviewer’s court)
Basically, what @bolssom said above. But another contact needs to be made. By the applicant. The interview is probably worth doing.
Good luck!
P.S. Why do several of the posters assume the OP is female? I don’t see an indication of gender.
@ItsJustSchool I assumed OP is female because she mentioned a husband. Also I don’t think OP is interested in another interview as she posted that it doesn’t matter at this point because her daughter is" into her first school UofC so it’s just gravy and ego bashing at this point"
@carolinamom2boys, Yes, I see that the decision has already been made. Good point. Where I live, “husband” does not indicate gender. You are right, though, it heavily implies gender.
In that case, there is nothing to be done. The OP was simply seeking validation and testing her (his?) perception of a cultural norm.
Water under the bridge.
@ItsJustSchool You are right, husband does not indicate gender, and it was an assumption . I’ll be more careful next time with my assumptions.
Upper middle class person here…our Starbucks…and there are several close to my home…are a three ring circus. Long lines, lots of noise, tables very close together, no booths, and to be honest…over priced.
Our McDonalds, otoh, have long drive thru lines, but the indoors are really quieter. Tables are spread apart better, booths available for sort of privacy, and much less expensive, and in my opinion, better coffee (Newmans Own around here).
To be honest, I’m not sure what “demographic” the OP is referring to, because in my experience, many of the same people who go to Starbucks also go to McDonalds.
But whatever…the email was sent. The parent and kid presumably don’t really care about this school anyway because kid got into first choice U Of Chicago.
Really…this is much ado about nothing.
I have no idea the gender of this parent…but I’m picturing the father.
My first post on CC several years ago was asking about an issue with my older D. I got some helpful, some critical responses, but the PM’s! One rather unhelpful person called my D a lazy entitled twit and implied that I was a bad parent, so it’s a wonder that I even stuck around. Thankfully, I did get some helpful suggestions and we found a solution to the problem and D is doing fine.
In the end, we all view everything on CC and elsewhere with our own lens. OP saw things that weren’t really there and lots of us got the wrong impression. Who knows, maybe she’ll come back as the parent of a college student sometime in the future.
It is a reasonable assumption that a married person with a husband is female. Not always 100% accurate, but a reasonable guess.
According to Pew Research Center 4% of gay men are married(to other gay men).
So, the % of men with husbands in the U.S. is very small.
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Letter is way too long
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Your child should be the one to contact admissions. He/she can give the name of the interviewer, let the school know the interviewer had to cancel last minute, and ask if another interview can be rescheduled after your family vacation.
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Conducting an interview in McDonalds or a similar public place (ex. Starbucks, a diner) is pretty standard and is considered preferable to having a child go to a home, hotel room etc. alone.
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Interviews are always with the child alone. You are not applying to the college. If you are at all uncomfortable you can walk into the McDonalds (or wherever) and sit at another table or stay in your car in the parking lot.
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Yes interviewers do sometimes have to cancel last minute. Alumni interviews are typically volunteers with families, job responsibilities and things do come up.
@thumper1: If you’re picturing the father and there was mention of a husband, why are you imagining it is a dad who penned this post? What did you hear in tone or approach that leads you to “Dad”?
(@ItsJustSchool would have the readers to this thread consider that not every married couple need be male/female in composition, and @carolinamom2boys remembers mention of a husband in the original posting.)
@sirila: UChicago is a great school, as you well know. Congratulations to your daughter, and to you, as you begin this journey.
If you do decide to come back to CC for info on winter gear I’m sure you’ll get lots of great leads.
The greatest gift I could give to my son when he visited, during the blustery famed winters of that land, was a camel-colored really long merino wool scarf with the little breathing hole, bought on sale through The Clymb. I believe it saved his life.
Like the winters are any different in Chicago vs Boston, but no one gets so dramatic over Boston winters! My Boston area kid had far worse winters than my Chicago area kid during their four parallel years.
and for the poster earlier that questioned the Op’s repeated use of the word “sketch”. It is common internet slang meaning dubious, or questionable. Those using a more standard language would use sketchy.
MODERATOR’S NOTE:
The time has come to close the thread, as the original poster seems to have received the answers s/he was seeking, and there really is nothing new left to say.