Wel I stood up for a kid who was getting bullied...

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>Firstly, I didn't realize how long this was. My apologies.</p>

<p>Over the last two days, my perception of college students has changed. I thought college was a time when people matured for the best and began the journey to adulthood. But, to my dismay, I was part of an incident this past Friday that changed my beliefs and I'mhaving trouble with the aftermath of it.</p>

<p>I was walking on the sidewalk outside my dorm last Friday evening, and there was a boy sitting by himself at a bus stop about 250 feet ahead of me. I'd seen this boy before. He's the steryotypical "nerd" who walks fast, tucks in his shirt, runs around with his organic chemistry book, and is never seen with other people. Im not the friendly person I wish I was so Ive never associated with him before, but I never had a negative impression of him. Anyways, I was getting closer to the bus stop that he was sitting at and I noticed that he was approached by three of our classmates, all whom I recognized but none of whom I know personally. From the distance I was at, I heard the terms "faggot" and "small dick" being tossed around and I heard the merciless boy beginning to cry as he was flicked and tossed around a little bit by the other guys. </p>

<p>I stepped to the side of the path and stood behind a pine tree for a moment to observe the situation a little better and to make up my mind as to whether I wanted to step in to this. There was no one else around and I didn't want to see this kid get hassled. As I was standing there listening to the laughter and faint cries, the boy's trapper-keeper was thrown into the tree I was standing under and I immediately stepped out from behind the tree and made eye contact with the largest of the three boys. Behind him, the two other boys were giving the victim "wet willies" and pinching him in the chest and threatening to steal his possessions because he was a "faggott" and other things. The kid is obviously shy, andhad no additional way to handle the situation other than crying and saying "please leave me alone" repeatedly.</p>

<p>I approached the kid I made eye contact with and asked him if I could talk to him for a second. He was bigger than me and yes I felt intimidated, but I asked him why they were attacking this kid. He told me that the boy is the "biggest faggot in the school" and that he was doing the wrong thing on a friday night and that they were trying to "take care of him." He continued with other non-helpful defenses to make the situation seem better than it was.</p>

<p>I stood up and walked over to the situation where the victim was shirtless (his shirt had been throws up into a tree), and I approached the smallest guy there and grabbed him by the ear and got profane and told him to cut it out. He tried to start something with me, and I pushed him to the ground by the chest and told him not to **** with people. The other kid who I had not yet associated with was standing there completely awe-struck, and I looked him in the eye and said "your're lucky you're bigger than me" and I proceeded to help the victim up.</p>

<p>To my surprise, the three guys didnt leave. They just stood there. The victim started thanking me and gave me a hug and introduced himself. I did the same and I told him that his clothes are probably too high up in the tree to get (the other boys were laughing and slowly leaving) and I asked him if this was his dorm. He told me he lives in the new dorms way across campus, and I offered to take him up to my room to get him a shirt and check out if he's alright.</p>

<p>He ended up being fine. He was extremely grateful for my actions and told me that he can't make friends in our school and that these boys mess with him a lot and that this was the first time anyone had ever stoof up for him. I drove him back to his dorm and gave him my phone number incase he ever needed hep again. He added me into his very small contact list as "Emergency" which is when I started getting a little skeptical. He thanked me and I wished him a good night. I really never expecited to hear from him again. </p>

<p>To my surprise though, 5 minutes after I dropped him off I got a text from him that said "come back i miss you." I was busy and texted him back thatI couldn't but that I'd see him around campus. </p>

<p>Now I see him everywhere and he thinks we're best friends. He's a nice kid, but he's socially inept and not easy to talk to. I've tried to teach him about standng up for himself and getting aggresive, but his confidence just isn't there. He continues to approach me in the dining hall and he texts me literally 20 times in a row. I'm being nice, yes, but I'm not going out of my way tobecome buddies with him. Main reason being, this year is almost over and I'm transferring next year and will never see this kid again as it is. </p>

<p>The hard thing is, I want to be here to support him. If what he tells me is true, I'm the only "real friend" he's made this entire school year and he told me that it's a gift from god and that I'm "giving hope for our generation" and a lot of similar religious stuff. I haven't told him I'm transferring next year either, and I'm not even sure if I should. I just feel bad and risky leaving him here to get harassed like this. Now I just start feeling sad randomly and I have no idea how to address this stuation. I feel like I'm responsible for findinghim a "new friend" or something for next year.</p>

<p>..Can someone shed me some advice? Please and appreciated.</p>

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<p>Sign him up for boxing lessons. Be nice to him until you transfer, it’s not like it’s a long time.</p>

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<p>“walking fast” is a sign of being a nerd?It is confirmed that I am a nerd…</p>

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<p>Can’t tell if ■■■■■…</p>

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<p>The boxing lessons thing is a good idea. He needs some form of self confidence. Find him some kind of self defense class thing.</p>

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<p>Boxing and self defense classes are not sure ways of making him more confident…some people just aren’t aggressive. Now I am not saying that it will not work for this guy but I have seen instances where it did not work for people due to a complete lack of aggression.</p>

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<p>Oh my goodness, I did the exact same thing 3 years ago when I was in 8th grade. I stood up for the one girl who NOBODY liked and who was always teased by my classmates, and became her only friend. I lost all my other friends because nobody wanted to associate themselves with me if I was around her, and she required my attention 24/7. I tried to spend time with some other friends but it got to the point where she wouldn’t let me leave her side and sometimes even resorted to violence (nothing big, just being hit a few times to get her point across).</p>

<p>It’s been 3 years since I first made friends with her and she still controls my life. I no longer see any friends outside of school (except my boyfriend or my best friend who doesn’t go to my school) because they don’t want to hang out with me with that girl clinging on to me, and even the friends I have left I have difficulty getting together with because my self-esteem is so low. This “friend” that I stood up for constantly reminds me of how worthless and ‘idiotic’ I am, and tie that in to my manic depression and it starts to seriously get ugly. It also doesn’t help that my little sister is 13 and she is the most popular girl in her grade…</p>

<p>I know this doesn’t really help, or maybe it does. It’s great that you stood up for the kid, but if he starts to dominate your life, try to help him make new friends and then get away from him for a bit. Don’t spend all your time hanging out with him or you’ll end up the same way as me.</p>

<p>EDIT: I see you’re transferring next year, so I guess it really doesn’t make a difference. Try to end on a good note with him because he may just be needing extra time to get out of his awkward phase. It’s usually the bullied kids who become the geniuses later on.</p>

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<p>i would’ve tried to avoid violence if it was possible. from what it sounded like, you attacked that other guy first. i don’t know, but if you had just stood over the “nerd” maybe they would’ve stopped and left. if anything, by hitting the other guy i’d say there was a greater probability of getting both of you injured. still though, good for you for helping him. i probably would’ve just walked by and pretended i didn’t see anything.</p>

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<p>@breakfast hahahahahahahahahahahaaahah “i miss you come back” wowww…hahahahahahababahahaha</p>

<p>Sent from my HTC HD2 using CC App</p>

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<p>crying…? school yard bullies…? shirt in tree…? WET WILLIES…?
lol, what?
was this kid home schooled by ultra-conservative parents? and how did these kids graduate from middle school? what a ridiculous story. for confidence, this guy needs some friends. self defense lessons are useless. there’s not really much you can do. it’s not like you can somehow find friends for someone else. it’ll be up to him to change. you can only give him advice and as much confidence as you can. you should be his personal trainer or something. before you leave, take him out to town and train his confidence. start with the basics … asking for change at a coffee shop… etc, then eventually move up to asking a stranger for change… yelling as loud as possible in the middle of central park. just like in the movies. shaking hands. then introduce him to girls… heheh. and advise him on how to change his appearance to be less of a target for middle school bullies. just like in the movies. be sure to tell him you’re transferring. actually, he might even want to transfer to a more welcoming environment.</p>

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<p>“I miss you, come back”</p>

<p>Really…?</p>

<p>I don’t buy this story one bit.</p>

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<p>Some girl once called me “baby dick” at a party for absolutely no reason. She was drunk, and I’m a small guy, so I guess her drunk logic put those things together.</p>

<p>I sure showed her.</p>

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<p>It’s hard for me to believe you’re not a ■■■■■… Thanks for the laugh–this thread is even funnier than your roommate story!</p>

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<p>

I was 93% sure the story was going to turn into a porno after this point.</p>

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<p><a href=“http://i.imgur.com/JpK3c.gif[/url]”>http://i.imgur.com/JpK3c.gif&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>If this story is true, then you are truly a good person.</p>

<p>No one was like for me during middle school. Luckily, I grew out of being shy, but not everyone does. </p>

<p>Support him, but don’t hold his hand the entire way.
The best way I think to get through a nerd is with logic. Give him lectures on why and how he can obtain confidence using thought out reasoning.</p>

<p>I know, my confidence grew shortly after becoming an Atheist. Whether or not it is a direct cause I still wonder, but when I realized there is no God, I turned to myself for strength and answers rather than my invisible imaginary friend.</p>

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<p>Eh, the eggs for this breakfast have gone rotten and the champion sure as heck ain’t Wheaties.</p>

<p>I know there are bullies of all ages and stages of life but this story sounded like a scenario out of Sixteen Candles. Unless you’re in some uptight sorority or fraternity for the most part don’t nobody in college really pay attention to anybody else.</p>

<p>I call b.s. on this story. Sorry.</p>

<p>@simpsonman: Lawlz! You dirty boy you! ;)</p>

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<p>Tell him to sign up for boxing lessons or a sport. Something that gets him moving around. Ping pong, pool, tennis, soccer, yoga, etc. Sports are a great way to meet new people.</p>