<p>I agree with bookworm, regarding visiting the dep'ts of her interests, especially. </p>
<p>There was a student from my D's sr. class who chose Trinity; it was somewhere between a match and a safety for her, i.m.o. However, she was very clear about the program she wanted, & the location, & thus chose the school based on those desires. I actually wish more students would choose schools based on the programs that they offer, relative to the student's interests & abilities. A program is not a subject. Majors, course content, prereqs & course requirements vary hugely by college/U. That is aside from the political slant of that major, which can be considerable depending on the major & the campus culture & academic agendas. In the latter regard, Film/Cinema Studies is very different at Bard than at USC or Emerson; art history at certain Southern Cal. colleges is quite different in content than it is at Chicago. Same for differences with regard to poli sci, sociology, psychology, at many campuses. In a way one is lucky to have one or more defined foci; it allows the student to investigate those dep'ts a little more, & include those observations in the final decision.</p>
<p>Your daughter has been accepted to three of the best schools that this nation has to offer. She needs to get over her ivy rejections and realize that she's been accepted to AMAZING schools. I'd recommend she look more at Chicago, it's an excellent institution and I'm sure she could work something out with studying abroad. By all means, do not have her take a gap year - reapplying to those schools will just be a disappointment.</p>
<ul>
<li> you really DON'T need to decide by May 1. Students have been known to put down deposits at more than one school, then forfeit the deposit at all but the final choice. It is obviously more expensive, but not compared to the "cost" of a bad choice.</li>
</ul>
<p>BTW, colleges are aware of this practice. Although they don't like it, they do plan for it. They even have a term for it: summer melt. And, it is by no means comparable to violating an ED commitment.</p>
<p>So I would encourage the OP to use a bit of extra time, if it might help, to make that decision.</p>
<p>I have to disagree, newmassdad. Sending more than one deposit, "double depositing," is an unethical plan, and probably a risky one. Students are expected to send a depoisit to only one school on May 1. "Summer melt" occurs when a student who deposited at School A is later offered a spot from School B's wait list and decides to accept it. He or she then informs School A of the change in plans. The spot the student releases then creates an opening for a student on School A's waiting list, and so on down the line -- hence the term "summer melt."</p>
<p>I knew someone would come back with a comment like yours. I don't want to engage in an ethical debate with you or anyone else. I will say that wail list dominos is ohly one reason for summer melt. I will also point out that, for the point of the school, they do not know (and frankly, don't particularly care) why the melt occurs. Heck, you think they make you sign an affidavit that you are not coming only because you got off the wait list somewhere else?</p>
<p>IMHO, if this were an ethical issue, they'd make you sign something, much like they do with SC EA/ED. They don't, and there's a reason for it.</p>
<p>I would just hate to see a family deprived of a tool for extending the decision time because of someone else's sense of ethics. With all the misleading stuff that goes on by admissions offices at colleges, all the subtle manipulation of prospecitve applicants and so forth, I see nothing wrong with using such aggressive tools for OUR advantage. </p>
<p>Keep in mind that the colleges certainly don't allow families much time to make a decision. The month of April? When HS classes are in session? When AP exams are just around the corner? Plenty of time? Right.</p>
<p>newmassdad -- It just doesn't sit right with me, but perhaps I'm not in the majority on this issue.</p>
<p>But on the subject of using tools to an applicant's advantage, one could also argue that when a student double deposits, it deprives other students (maybe yours or mine!) of the chance to move off a wait list promptly. One student's inability to make up his/her mind brings about anothers inability to "close the door."</p>
<p>IMO students need reasons to end the process, not reasons to extend it. Therefore, IMO parents should insist on the May 1 deadline. After weeks of agonizing and pondering, IMO a decision, when required with finality, can be made and should be made.</p>
<p>I suspect you may, indeed, be in the majority! And your point about other students on the WL is valid. But, when I see a system with so many obstacles, such heavy PR and marketing, and so much spin, all courtesy the admissions offices, I think our kids and families should use every tool we can to make the best decision. </p>
<p>Some, like Adad, feel the May 1 deadline is plenty of time. Perhaps for him it is. For others, it may not be. Consider our poor kids. Do we really want to invest time and effort into thinking about schools that may not even be possible? Maybe, maybe not. Some kids (and some parents!) only begin serious consideration AFTER acceptances come in. Agree or not, it is perfectly human, and perfectly understandable. </p>
<p>Consider the OP, for example. I suspect they were focused on other schools earlier in the process, and gave little thought to their remaining choices. If so, then 4 weeks toward the end of senior year (an exceptionally busy time for some!) may well be too little time.</p>
<p>Thank you to everyone who responded; we received a lot of invaluable advice. I read on another thread about Rugg's Recommendations, which which lists the top departments in a wide range of subject matters. My daughter has eliminated one school to which she was accepted and one where she is on the WL. Tomorrow she is revisiting Wellesley. She has gained perspective in the past few days and now realizes she has acceptances from several excellent colleges. I am grateful that May 1 is almost here.</p>
<p>Yay, georgemma. That is good news. It is easy even for us "mature" adults to lose perspective during the college admissions process (as anyone who was around to witness my meltdown as my family went through the post-Katrina phased-out Engineering transfer saga can attest). Glad her mood has changed and crossing fingers for continued forward momentum.</p>
<p>So glad she is moving forward. 90% of being happy with any situation is the attitude and outlook one has going into the situation. Kids don't have the experience to understand the truth of that, and we parents get too wrapped up trying to help our child see what is "best" for them in colleges that we lose sight of that simple fact.</p>
<p>Good news indeed. IMO, be strong and insist on May 1.</p>
<p>We went through something similar last year. It was very painful but the May 1 deadline produced a decision that our son has been very happy with.</p>
<p>The experience, knowledge, skill set and savvy of GCs is all over the map, but I applaud those GCs who really take an active role in trying to help shape the college application list. The GCs I'm more disappointed in are the ones who let naive kids & parents hang themselves by applying to only the Ivys (or Ivy-equivalent) plus the state university safety they have haven't spent more than five minutes contemplating and have no intention of attending. When confronted with well-meaning but sometimes pushy & unrealistic newbie parents, it's all too easy for the GC to just shrink back and say "whatever, it's your choice", when s/he knows full well the kid has only a snowballs chance in hell of admission. Kudos to those GCs who put themselves in the line of fire each year, preparing to inevitably face the subset that wants to shoot the messenger.</p>
<p>I never really addressed the discussion about the college counselor. My daughter attends a small high school with several college counselors, including one, the head of the English department, who advises five students a year. We were thrilled that this was who was assigned to my daughter, because she had already been her teacher the previous year. I don't need to get into the tedious details except to say that the counselor did an outstanding job. She pushed for several schools, insisting that just because my daughter wasn't crazy about them in August didn't mean that she wouldn't like them in April or September. At every meeting, the counselor would say, "You have a beautiful transcript but I wish your scores (1450) were higher." </p>
<p>Some people have posted about pushy counselors with questionable advice, but it really wasn't like that at all.</p>
<p>Our older son took the SATs once and had a 1500. He refused to take them again. The counselor told him: Unless you get the 1550 you will NOT get into these (and she gave a list of schools) but you will still get into these. He applied to BOTH lists. It was just 50 points. She called every one of them right. As much as people here say it is not about scores, these are predictive for many students to a large degree, especially our middle class suburban kids.</p>
<p>cloverdale, when a GC is as dogmatic as this one, you have to wonder if the GC letters actually are written in such a way to separate the 1500s from the 1550s. That is, has this high school decided that only students with scores of 1550 should go to that list of colleges, so write the GC letter to reflect this? Less enthusiastic GC letter for kids with scores of 1500, so they don't get into the A list of schools. Wouldn't surprise me in the least if this were so.</p>