My son was accepted and considered both. We toured them all multiple times, met with students, etc. None of which is as good as the perspective of current students…
We liked both, a lot.
I would say academically overall they are on par. There are specific majors that have particularly great reputations at one or the other but if you don’t know exactly what you plan to study I would consider academics a wash in your decision.
Athletically, it depends how you define it. Both have success in various sports in the NESCAC. But Wesleyan, which has about 500 more undergraduate students overall than Midd, has a much lower ratio of athletes to the total student population – less than 20% versus mid-30%. So vibe-wise, athletes are going to be a much more obvious presence in the culture at Midd than Wesleyan. And Midd definitely has a reputation of being more of a jock school than Wes. When my son did an overnight at Midd current students were definitely categorizing people has “Bros” (i.e. athletes) or not (they had labels for the non-Bros but I’ve forgotten). He didn’t experience that kind of labeling at Wes.
Socially, they are not that far apart, but Wes has more of a reputation as a party-hard school, for a few reasons. One, because despite the fact that a tiny percentage of student affiliate with the remaining frat, it does still have some frat culture and a history of resistance to the admin’s efforts to get rid of frats. Midd has none. Second, those frats have been the scene of numerous nationally reported incidents of drug overdoses and date rapes. I’m not sure that the rate of either is actually higher at Wes than Midd or its peers, but Wes is the one that ends up with long exposes in national publications about their problem. Third, my overall impression at Midd was the administration is unapologetic in being proactive in trying to take on student excesses (they banned energy drink sales on campus because they said it led to irresponsible actions by students) whereas Wes has a long reputation for which they are fiercely proud of being mostly hands-off with students and are much more about individual independence. For better or worse, it permeates everything from the way Wes randomly assigns roommates to their more casual orientation, etc. Whereas Midd had entire seminars for parents to assure them of all the ways they monitor and intervene on student excesses.
One other thing about Wes. It has a well-earned reputation of being significantly politically active/aggressive. My sense from various students is the hardcore people are in the minority but they are a loud, active minority that make a big presence. For my son that was a turn-off. Personal views aside, he’s fairly apolitical and non-confrontational. He knew Wes’ rep on this issue going in and it was already the one big reservation he had. And when he was there he was confronted with students pushing petitions, etc. For some people this is a huge plus because they appreciate the student passion around politics and social issues. For some it’s neither here nor there. For some it’s a turn off…