<p>Below is a slightly modified version of a PM I recently shared with a Duke student that helped us with this most difficult decision.</p>
<p>It's a done deal, Duke it is. I really needed to be sure that my son was fully informed and realistic re: this decision and not overwhelmed by a romantic notion of country club life and elite social identification. He convinced me last night during a long and emotional exploration of the issues. </p>
<p>S is a goofy, fun kid with unbelievable academic talents and a passion for running. He visited Duke during the UP CLOSE DAYS and felt that particular emotional connection that informed his decision. Any of the other schools would have left him feeling profoundly disappointed. He felt that he belonged at Duke and could make it his home.</p>
<p>My brother who recently retired from the business world also convinced me that this was an opportunity of a lifetime that would shape the future of his career. He offered to help make this dream come true but I'm reluctant to accept his generous offer. Nevertheless, the strength of his argument pierced the bubble of anxiety and a soothing feeling of relief that "we can do this" warmed my soul.</p>
<p>Our S has a younger sister who is off to France next year for a semester abroad and will also be college bound in two years. She has her sights on Stanford, Yale or Penn. Hopefully, she will now also consider Duke. Her educational opportunities are equally important to me. I know much of my fear was rooted in the possibility that her dreams might go unrealized if we incurred too much debt. Our S heard this concern and, interestingly, promised to work upon graduation to help us make her dreams come true.</p>
<p>You write so beautifully about your experiences at Duke. You, too, have helped a great deal in this process. Not only do you represented Duke in a great light but your warmth and intelligence speak to the product of a Duke education convincingly. Please accept my warmest and most sincere appreciation for the thoughtfullness of your replies. I wish you the greatest success in the future. </p>
<p>Thanks Max for the kind words. Just wanted to point out that financial aid increases when a sibling is also in college (assuming you qualify). So make sure to reapply at that point, and your daughter's package should also be larger. </p>
<p>Good luck! He will LOVE Duke and the opportunities Duke opens up are fantastic!</p>
<p>Congrats on making a decision! Wish my S had made one. He's narrowed it down to two, Duke and Williams, but that is proving to be a tough choice.</p>
<p>NCeph - Duke and Williams are more similar than most people would think, and I'm sure you and your son have began to realize that. I love Williams but chose Duke for a variety of reasons. These include bigger school, more name recognition, more opportunities to be a leader on campus (more organizations), better weather, location, and more alumni. Williams had some distinct advantages but I noticed their course offerings per semester were very narrow.</p>
<p>What major/course of study is your son looking at.</p>
<p>I am always very impressed when a poster has the generosity to return, share results, and acknowledge the help that was offered. Terrific.</p>
<p>We, too, had a tough decision to make. Son is completing his second year at Duke just now. </p>
<p>He has never worked so hard in his life. He has never known such an amazing group of smart, curious, and interesting people. He is off to an awesome internship this summer and will be in Europe next term. He cannot imagine being anywhere else.</p>
<p>Best to you and your family. I hope that you feel as good about your son's choice in 2 years as I do about ours right now.</p>
<p>Welcome to Duke, son of Max.<br>
Our son decided after attending not one but two Blue Devil Days..
The minute he moved into his dorm at East, he was happy, relaxed, at home. So many wonderful friends, so many intensely interesting young adults, and people of character around. Academics...most challenging indeed.
Wonderful teachers. Great weather..great cultural arts as well as sports..and don't forget to go abroad. It actually cost us a bit less than staying on campus semester did. He loved FOCUS too by the way..was a fit for him. Still sees those profs and classmates almost three years later.
welcome!</p>
<p>Great post max. I, too, attended Duke Up Close this year and got to truly experience how great Duke is...and is going to be. The constant thought in my mind during my visit was, "I can't wait to come back and actually be a student here." </p>
<p>I am curious, what is you're S's name?... if you don't mind telling me....I probably met her.</p>
<p>Just a quick Q - is S going to try out for the track team or mainly run for fun (a concept with which I am UTTERLY unfamiliar :) ) - in either case, I know some folks that might be good contacts if interested. Glad to read the post and congrats.</p>
<p>DukeEgr, I'm hoping that he runs recreationally, however, his ideal would be to make a spot on the team. His event is the 800 meter and is now just at 2:00 mins. and hopes to get to 1:57 mins. before the end of the season.</p>
<p>Lol for some odd reason I was thinking S was a female....anyway I don't recall a Nate but I'm sure I met him sometime during Up Close....can't wait to go to Duke again!</p>
<p>Last minute change of heart-S decided to accept the Banneker Key scholarship at UMCP. </p>
<p>At the 11th hour the expense (50K/yr) was just too much of a burden for the entire family. Our S is relieved that he'll graduate without debt and is excited about the Honors Humanities program at MD. We're all relieved and confident he'll do well there. </p>
<p>Ultimately, the prestige thing lost its luster the more we imagined the burden of the financial reality of attending Duke. Good luck to all you Dukies. We'll see you at the Comcast Center.</p>
<p>our loss, Maryland's gain. you must be very proud of your son. Sounds like he is going to extract all the best from a great offer that would turn anyone's head. Ain't it great to be wanted? take care!</p>