<p>hmmm actually I'm a little **** about drinking... or rather drunken people =p so will it be a problem for me to fit in the school because I heard that F&M students have no activities beside drinking parties on weekends?</p>
<p>My son doesn’t drink (I know I know most mothers say this but believe me it’s truie). He still has a robust social life at F&M. College is what you make it.</p>
<p>As a senior at F&M I have to be honest and say that if you don’t drink your options for socializing are severely limited. Most events are centered around this but if you really try and procure a group of friends with the same interests it won’t be so bad, you’ll just be spending a lot of time in the dorm by yourselves. </p>
<p>P.S. I’ve done Freshman intake interviews and most students come in saying the same thing, that they don’t drink or don’t like drinking and by the first weekend they change their minds ;)</p>
<p>I am a parent and completely agree with KLP224. My student is a diabetic and cannot drink. He is also an athlete and has bent over backwards to find alternatives for weekend parties which can sometimes start as early as Wednesday night. My son’s condition is his way of life and not a big deal for him. He has learned to adapt and has not looked down his nose at his fellow teammates who are frequently drunk. To me he calls them good/fun friends when they are not drunk. At first, he would walk around the parties with a red Solo cup filled with water or apple juice (which can look like beer.) Eventually, he realized that with “pre-gaming” many kids would show up already buzzed, so once he showed his face in attendance, he could leave. Standing around for hours in this environment, got old quickly and was not fun. The problem at F&M is “then what?” </p>
<p>It was easier in the fall when there were things open and walking was easy. In the winter, it is cold and they roll up the streets relatively early…per college standards. There are a few lovely things about Lancaster - but how many times can one do them. The community is very supportive of visual arts, but that too gets to be the same 'ole thing. Also, freshman can’t have cars, so you are essentially a captive audience.</p>
<p>The school finally offers a bus loop but after speaking with several kids, I have learned that the bus system in Lancaster takes several hours on which to come and go. The kids I have talked to have never taken it.</p>
<p>As for Freshman who tell their parents they do not drink, I too have witnessed many, many freshman tell their parents, “Yeah, there is a lot of drinking on this campus.” What they forget to tell their parents is that they are part of the drinking problem. My son and I have made met and connected with other families and these parents do not know that binge drinking is a frequent past-time. They all respond with “Oh! My Johnny does not drink…” That is simply not true. </p>
<p>My son is not a mama’s boy by any stretch however, his diabetes has matured his choices and we have functional communication.</p>
<p>KLP224 and PatientParent,</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing. My D currently does not drink and is hoping to find a school where there are many other non-drinking options available. She understands that drinking is going to happen everywhere (has two older siblings) but is hoping to find a place that will be a little more welcoming to non-drinkers.</p>
<p>As an F & M student, I can promise you that drinking is not a “problem” here and is also not exclusive to this campus. It is a nationwide phenomenon that is brought about by children not being allowed to drink at home and thus experimenting with copious amounts if alcohol at college. Bigger universities drink WAY WAY WAY more than folk at F&M. This place is by no close shot a party school, in fact we probably drink less than the average american school. Every student in his or her college will say that “ohh we party hard”. dont worry, it’s all what you make of it.</p>
<p>If “drinking was not a problem” at F&M the president of the college and the administration would not have acknowledged this problem and worked for the last year on a study toward a solution. (See publications available on the college web site discussing this study.) In addition, there would not have been an alum/student who died on campus for alcohol related activities in October 2008. (This too can be found on Google and is discussed briefly on the colleges web site.) So, I guess there is a problem at F&M.</p>
<p>As for Jay’s suggestion that this is a problem “brought about by CHILDREN not being allowed to drink at home…” Um… underage drinking is against the law…in a home or out in public. How quickly everyone forgets that fact. In fact, if a convenience store is found to have sold alcoholic beverages to a minor, they would undoubtedly lose their license to sell alcohol, and would perhaps be brought up on charges and perhaps jailed. </p>
<p>This makes me wonder, why college campuses are then a safe haven for such activities without similar repercussions? Why are the administrations able to overlook this behavior and not be considered at least an accessory to a crime? I understand the job is tough for campus security, but when is the last time anyone read about a campus party with drugs and alcohol being raided and prosecuted…like it would be anywhere else off campus?</p>
<p>Why wouldn’t kids go nuts when they “get in” when they can do/try whatever they want in college with little consequence? </p>
<p>Honestly, this problem is extreme although there is a solution. If a school that was not worried about their endowment or enrollment would develop a strong “crack-down” system without worrying about the aftermath and effects on their budgets, I suspect over time the problem would self correct. Imagine if ivy league students were expelled after being caught drinking/drugs three times…(three strike your out system?) </p>
<p>I understand I sound radical… but that may be what it takes at this point. Underage and irresponsible drinking on college campuses across America is out of control. Unfortunately, the drinking scene at my son’s college, F&M is really bad.</p>
<p>The school has several policies related to alcohol that are very lenient for very important reasons. One is the amnesty policy it enacts for students who are coming to the aid of students who are in need of medical help. Students were too worried of getting in trouble because they had been drinking that they did not seek help when their friend who had been drinking too much passed out and that is a very dangerous situation. The college knows that the lives of its students are worth more than giving someone a slap on the wrist for underage drinking. </p>
<p>I think colleges and universities have the right idea, they have chosen not to bury their heads in the sand and pretend it isn’t happening, but to deal with it in a practical manner. They know that drinking culture on campuses is a huge part of the social scene and that the students are going to experiment (with things a lot worse than alcohol) whether they put rules in place or not. They have policies to safely deal with the consequences without ruining the lives of the students because we know that almost every young adult participates in these what have come to known as “rites of passage.” Its about not making it a big deal and making the student body miserable because as we have seen many times throughout history, making the rules more stringent can often backfire into a more dangerous situation with more devastating results. </p>
<p>Ask yourself, why is this drinking culture (particularly that of binge drinking) so pervasive in our American culture and not others? Its because in Europe and other nations they do not make such a big deal out of it, they incorporate it the daily lives of growing adolescents and adults and do not glorify it by making it taboo or illegal. I think colleges have the right idea and enforcing more rules and threatening to kick them out of school is impractical and only going to exacerbate the problem at this point. </p>
<p>And yes, drinking (and drugs) are a problem at F&M, but I challenge you to find a campus where this is not the case (and if you weren’t a student there recently you don’t know the real story).</p>
<p>Fummer, your arguments are well written and I agree with some.</p>
<p>The amnesty policy is a good one and the rules/punishment could be written so those helping a fellow student continue to be protected. One would hope that after witnessing a friend who is in need of medical help and/or transport that the lighter drinking friend would learn their lesson and not drink. Interestingly, that does not seem to be the case at F&M. According to the the newspaper and the student (alum) who died in the dorms was an athlete from a group of athletes who are allegedly the worst offenders on campus. They don’t seem to be able to connect the dots regarding the dangers of alcohol, even after the death of their friend.</p>
<p>The “forbidden fruit” idea is true. Children are given wine which has been watered-down at a much younger age in many cultures. Most of my sons friends at F&M are students from other countries and most do not drink. Actually, they too are disgusted with the drinking problem on campus.</p>
<p>Dealing with a “law” in a practical matter is not their right. Underage drinking is against the law. How can one make their own rules about this? Are you suggesting that because you go to college, you can play by different rules. Practically, that is exactly what is going on! I don’t believe that strict rules would exacerbate this problem. I think it would end it once and for all with any student (which may be most) who begins this behavior on a college campus. It probably would only take a few “corrections” before the trend would change… Plus, let’s remember… if they went off campus, the rules would be different. I don’t believe that local businesses want to lose their licenses to serve in this economy! </p>
<p>You are right. Drinking is a problem on most campuses: I will however meet your challenge by offering places of discipline and conviction. While this level of discipline and/or religions conviction may not be for everyone…it feels refreshing to know it still exists at all: Any of the US Academies, Wheaton, IL… BYU… </p>
<p>I am afraid the days of being wishy-washy and thinking “anything goes” are probably passe. We will have to agree to disagree. Taking a stand requires extreme strength of conviction.</p>
<p>Finally, remember, this thread is about the “partying” on campus at F&M… We seem to agree that F&M is a partying campus… We just don’t agree if it is OK or how lenient the correction should be.</p>