What am I doing wrong? What gives?

<p>citygirlsmom:
do you hog the conversation? no
do you not talk enough? i make sure to even the conversation out.
do you talk with your mouth open- no joke, bad table manners is a big turnoff? caught me there actually. it's happened to me on two ocassions. and i'm actually aware of it as i talk but it's like if i wait until i finish eating the conversation halts for a bit. i have to correct this bad habit.
are you too pushy- you talk about relationships going no where - when there is no relationship? no i don't even bring it up.
what do you talk about when together- what are your interests? what are the lady's? i actually never thought about this. i usually remember what the girl says (or anyone for that matter), but there always just so much we talk about so i don't even know if I could sum things up.
are you a gentleman on the date? yes.</p>

<p>"tell us what happens when you go out, and we can give you more insight."</p>

<p>well usually we're walking and just talking along the way about anything. could be about how her day was and that would just stem off into other conversation. maybe something that we observed while walking. i mean i don't think about what we talk. i just know that we do talk.</p>

<p>"do you have any girls that are just friends? what do they say?"
i do have one good female friend. perhaps one of my best friends. i treat her like a guy though lol it's so funny. we talk just about anything. i don't talk to her or see her as much though because she went away for college. this topic about girls came up so much in the past that i stopped asking her a long time ago because it just seemed that we would never really get anywhere with it. it usually just came down to confidence i guess. one thing that i have been told is that i do need more confidence. my negativity as much as i try to conceal it does show. i think it may happen when i'm least realizing it. just to make it clear, although i do try to conceal that negativity i don't act like someone that i am not. i couldn't do that even if i tried (negativity kicking in). that's actually part of the reason i try not too open up as much because i know it's not an attractive feature in a guy. all i know is that it's hard to build up confidence when this starts to happen all the time. i try to get back up but it feels like I fall back down harder everytime.</p>

<p>anymore you need to know?</p>

<p>icierair: this may be at the core of the problem. how would i go about fixing something like that?</p>

<p>Today is your lucky day. No, not because I'm going to solve your dilemna.</p>

<p>Rather, because I'm going to link you to several articles written by a man who, at the ripe old age of 31, has already slept with well over a thousand women. He addresses the exact questions you have been asking throughout the thread;</p>

<p><a href="http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=1322&page=1%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=1322&page=1&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p><a href="http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=1296%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=1296&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p><a href="http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=1260%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=1260&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p><a href="http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=1258%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://messageboard.tuckermax.com/showthread.php?t=1258&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>bendrumfront: why would you be freaked out? that's all i can ask. i would try to say more but i'd like an answer to that first.</p>

<p>Are you creepy? Often guys are too pushy and hang around too much... just plain being creepy. Take a step back, make the girl want you instead of actively pursuing her.</p>

<p>Vicky06: creepy, pushy, hang out too much? doesn't really describe me. see this is the problem i have. i've always been told the guy has to be the aggressive and assertive one. does that not mean that if i like someone i should pursue her? and how would i make her want me instead of actively pursuing her?</p>

<p>mikemac: i actually stopped by there but only because my job requred me to go there to do something. i may check it out.</p>

<p>katsy23: Like I said earlier, I am myself. I don't change who I am simpy because that would just cause bigger problems. i'm not insincere. i don't brag about myself. i don't think i come off as a desperate person although I have know idea what the other person is thinking.</p>

<p>it is hard to get to JUST know someone when you're attracted to them but this may be the best thing i can do at this point. my pursue of girls will stop because i'm getting the idea that i'm just being too aggressive and pushing things. i'll make a big effort to just get to know girls from this point on.</p>

<p>btw i have asked my female friend and other girls as well about this.</p>

<p>GracieLegend2: thanks. i'll check those links out.</p>

<p>BP-</p>

<p>I would be freaked out if a guy I had refused on several occasions kept trying to ask me out. The old "never give up" motto does not apply in these circumstances. There is a point where it is only proper, appropriate, and normal to give up. I would probably think there was something mentally wrong with you if you could not understand the meaning of "no." Maybe you don't realize this, but a girl will make time for a guy if she really wants to, even if it means canceling other plans. If you recieve two successive "no's" in a row, that's probably your hint to give up and move on, unless you want to be accused of being "obsessed"</p>

<p>In regards to those Tucker Max links, if you're semi-good looking, well, it's not too difficult to find some nitwit willing to hook-up with you. If you want to meet a decent girl, it's going to take a lot more than that.</p>

<p>bendrumfront: ok i get you now. i just went with that old motto "never give up" because it seemed all the other times i gave up too quick. in any case i am moving on and just leaving this behind me.</p>

<p>and no i'm not looking for a nitwit or just a hookup. if that were the case i would have hooked up with a bunch of girls a while back.</p>

<p>btw i'm not so sure about that 'making time' for a person if they really want to. for example a couple of weeks into school this girl asked me to get some lunch after class. i told her i couldn't though. not because i didn't want to go, but with my job i simply couldn't. and i couldn't cancel a day in my job when i don't even make that much to begin with. the girl could have been super hot and i still would have had to say no because of my job. so i'm not too sure how that 'making time' theory works but i suppose it applies sometimes.</p>

<p>yeah you sound a lil too creepy. reminds me of a guy who lives in the dorm near me and talks to me all the time.. and i'm like...***. just takes some time. You are moving too fast while you should try to make friends with some of these girls first.</p>

<p>Making time doesn't mean skip class or skip work to be with her. No, it means instead of playing starcraft or world of warcraft in your room (cough some people i know) hang out with her instead. Use your free time wisely to hang out with her.</p>

<p>^Mm, it applies because if she was really hot, you would say, "Well, I can't get lunch, but maybe we can do X, instead..." or something like that. If a girl really liked you she wouldn't keep saying she was busy. She'd find something else to do with you at a different time or tell you when she's free.</p>

<p>There's this guy who's really nice (never makes fun of anybody, is always polite), but honestly, he gets on my nerves SO MUCH. He's kind of nerdy, I guess. But I talk to him, because if a person is nice and not necessarily interesting, I still find them likeable...but I wouldn't want to go out on a date with him. But like other people said, the fact that you got numbers and stuff means it's probably not that.</p>

<p>
[quote]
There's this guy who's really nice (never makes fun of anybody, is always polite), but honestly, he gets on my nerves SO MUCH. He's kind of nerdy, I guess. But I talk to him, because if a person is nice and not necessarily interesting, I still find them likeable...but I wouldn't want to go out on a date with him. But like other people said, the fact that you got numbers and stuff means it's probably not that.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>I'm so happy for that guy. Girls like you should NEVER get any attention from boys. Just because he's a really polite guy you don't wanna go out with him. How superficial. Do you really want a guy who constantly makes fun of you. You're the type of girl that, imo, likes wife beaters.</p>

<p>I'm thinking that it's mostly because you're being a bit too aggressive. </p>

<p>I don't know you or anything, but you sound a lot like this guy I know at my school. He invites himself over, TELLS me that we're going to study with folks (I don't like studying with people in the first place, but I have serious issues with guys trying to tell me what to do), tries to get me to go do stuff when I'm trying to get work done (seriously...he just says, "No, you don't need to do that now, come do this."), tells me that I should wear my hair curly instead of straight cause he likes it better curly, and various other things like that. When I first met him I thought he was funny and would be a good friend to have (I've never been remotely interested in him), but now I don't even like being around him for very long.</p>

<p>It sounds like you're doing the same kind of thing with that last girl. I mean, if she wanted you to come along with her, she would have invited you to or agreed the first time you brought up that you wouldn't mind going with her if she wanted. Just back off a bit. It's very disrespectful (not to mention irritating) to keep pestering someone about something after they refused an offer/invite.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Girls like you should NEVER get any attention from boys. Just because he's a really polite guy you don't wanna go out with him.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Yeah, you totally misunderstood what I said. I said I liked him and talked to him /because/ he was nice and polite. But I didn't want to date him because he annoyed me...it wasn't his niceness that annoyed me...just other things. I was only explaining how a person could be nice but still not have a great personality overall.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Yeah, you totally misunderstood what I said. I said I liked him and talked to him /because/ he was nice and polite. But I didn't want to date him because he annoyed me...it wasn't his niceness that annoyed me...just other things. I was only explaining how a person could be nice but still not have a great personality overall.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>aren't you implying that nice/polite boys dont get dates? If it wasn't his niceness that annoyed you, why did you say,
[quote]
this guy who's really nice (never makes fun of anybody, is always polite), but honestly, he gets on my nerves SO MUCH

[/quote]
</p>

<p>because of your post, many CC boys might start acting aggressive. Be careful about what you write. :)</p>

<p>
[QUOTE]
In regards to those Tucker Max links, if you're semi-good looking, well, it's not too difficult to find some nitwit willing to hook-up with you. If you want to meet a decent girl, it's going to take a lot more than that.

[/QUOTE]
</p>

<p>I thought I was finished with this topic, but I can't let such a stupid comment go by unchecked. Have you SEEN the girlfriend pics he posts on his site, including the most recent one? </p>

<p><a href="http://www.myspace.com/court85%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.myspace.com/court85&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>They're gorgeous five-stars that most guys would kill to have sex with once in their entire lives. Conversely, many of his girlfriends go/went to places like Duke, UChicago, Cornell, etc. That's pretty much as good as it gets; beauty and intelligence. Your implication that they are ugly and/or stupid floozies off the street simply carries no weight. </p>

<p>bedrum, if you're upset that handsome guys aren't into you, maybe you should read Tucker's advice for women that can't get good boyfriends. The topics are in the same forum as his advice to men. </p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

<p>That Tucker guy seems like a complete douche. </p>

<p>Just thought I should share.</p>

<p>katho11-</p>

<p>For starters, no one cares about your sharing. Secondly, Tucker Max says on the front page of his website that he's a douche. Yay for reading comprehension!</p>

<p>The point is, the guy knows how to act around women, which is what BP88 obsesses night and day about. His advice happens to be very good, and should be a beginning step for a nerdy, pushy, 18-year old virigin.</p>

<p>krys: first i would like to address a couple of things. hanging out with people on campus is already hard enough for me. i'm a commuter in a school with a large dorming population. (my day essentially goes like this: wake up, go to class, right after class go to work, then go home. sometimes i don't even have time to get breakfast because i just have to wake up too early 530a or 600a. and i have no breaks between class and work so eating in between is even harder. and i get out like around 5 in the afternoon. takes an hr to get home. i eat and the rest of the day i have to do hw.) now you tell me how i'm supposed to find time to even hang out with someone when i barely have time for myself. that's exactly why i even bothered to ask her if she wanted to go get a slice around campus because i can't eat on campus. it would allow me to hang out with her like you've suggested and i can get some eating done. it's ironic because you're telling me to use my time wisely to hang out with and that event i asked her to (over the weekend; only free time i have) was something that my friend invited me to because he had unlimited free tickets. other friends were going to go to, some that i knew others that i didn't. i actually went today and it was pretty fun. if i knew more people you can bet that i would be asking other people but as i've said commuting already makes it tough to meet people, even in class. secondly, i wouldn't cut class for anyone. i'm at school for a reason, and its not to cut classes. and lastly, i don't waste my time playing video games. somewhere in high school i just lost interest in them.</p>