<p>Sorry if this sounds like a rant, but I wanted to get perspectives from some other seniors out there..........</p>
<p>I know the competition for colleges has gotten vicious, but is it supposed to destroy friendships that are several years old? Kids in my grade who apply to not so great colleges hate and taunt 'the smart kids' who are applying to Ivy schools. My grade used to get along fine until this whole college thing started.</p>
<p>One girl said she was applying early to Princeton, and someone told her "Yeah, I'm applying early to McDonalds. Screw you." I feel like people at my school have gotten so focused on applications and perfect test scores that they neglect things that really are important.</p>
<p>Are college applications supposed to do this to people? It makes me sick.</p>
<p>I don't think the applications do it. I think it was there all along, and since the application season is the first real shove our brains get into the realization that this is all very "real world," we finally see how our friends really are.</p>
<p>My college applications give me nightmares. I had one the other night- I got in early decision in the dream, but one of my friends didn't, so I couldn't even feel that happy. It's awfully competitive- people start being resentful when their friends decide to apply to the same school. I'll be so glad when it's all over.</p>
<p>O I know. The worst is when you want to find out if you're friend got in somewhere really badly but you are afraid to ask him or her because really, how do you respond if they say they got rejected? "I'm sorry?" As if that will really console them...</p>
<p>It's even worse than asking what friends got on SATs- if they were rejected, you can't say "Well you can always retake them" like you can over bad SAT scores. Luckily, I think I know these kids well enough to just ask. And since chances are good I won't get in either, at least I won't have to feel guilty.</p>
<p>Or what do you say to someone who has a mid 1200 SAT score, low gpa, low class rank, etc who is applying to Stanford? </p>
<p>This girl tells me that she is applying there and all these other super competitive schools and then asks where I'm applying. I tell her and she thinks that I am so smart and all and she says, "Don't you think you should aim a little higher?..." ummm.... NO! Of course, I say that I am interested in a decent education and can't afford all of these other schools(note that I am not applying to bad schools just not known schools- well, I think they're known but most don't (lehigh, lafayette, smith, umiami, etc)</p>
<p>I agree that the competition is causing tension between classmates.</p>
<p>A kid in my grade is applying to 2 Ivies, Johns Hopkins, Bowdoin, and other very competitive schools...with very mediocre stats and no real ECs. I don't know what to tell him.</p>
<p>anovice and elizabeth22 - my advice is to say not much of anything. Offer your hope that they will do well, but it's not really necessary to offer more commentary. You could point these folks toward resources that talk about schools - like this forum, but trying to convince them that they are making a mistake is probably a wasted effort.</p>
<p>Yeah, a few people in my class are applying to places like Notre Dame and UVA (out of state, no less) when realistically, they should probably be applying to mid-level states schools. It almost makes me sad, because they're really stressing about the essays. </p>
<p>Another kid like that is applying to Cornell, Wake, etc, but he'll probably get in because his family's filthy rich and both of his sisters got into amazing schools they had no right to be at. That just makes me angry.</p>
<p>There's none of that sort of Ivy-hating at my school, but that's probably because there's only like five people that could actually have a chance at one. Actually, now that I think about it, almost everyone is doing ED to UF or going to the community college. AND, to top it all off, no one even talks about college (which is why I have to get my fix on CC :)) <em>Sigh</em></p>
<p>It is sad, but I admit I have fallen to the hating-thing. For example, one of my good classmates is applying to Brown (as am I), and my first reaction was to get mad. Now I know that most likely neither of us will get in, but it just goes to show you that all the negative competition can go as far as affecting friendships.</p>
<p>Did anyone read that Newsweek article (MyTurn), in which a college senior wrote about how she was applying to Harvard and how it changed her school relationshios? I thought it perfectly described the whole college process. It came out a while ago, though, so I don't know if anyone would remember it.</p>
<p>This girl is exaggerating. I know people who go to her school and from what I hear, she is blowing things out of proportion.</p>
<p>Sure, college application stress makes it tougher to feel happy for your genius Harvard-accepted best friend. But I think it's pessimistic, cynical even to generalize that all of the students who apply to these elite schools have the same animosity Hannah describes. On a thread in the Parent's forum discussing the article, I read dozens of stories about students helping each other with applications, whole-heartedly congratulating their friends, and (gasp) even admitting where they got rejected from. The only time you have such resentment and competition is when you have insecure students who take out their inferiority complexes on others. Part of it also may be due to ignorance, and lack of frank, open discussion with the guidance office.</p>
<p>At any rate, I'm applying to college this year and the amount of support and help I've gotten from my friends is astonishing. I know that even if they get into places I can only dream of going to, they're not any "better" or "smarter" than I am- it's hard to think that of someone you've after a paintball game looking like a swamp creature, covered with green and purple splotches! Certainly, how people react to college admissions decisions is more a reflection of their personality than the process itself. Everyone compares themselves to others at some point- whether it's grades,, beauty contests, wealth, or whatever. Everyone is going to fail at something at some point. Yeah, maybe the process is flawed. That doesn't give you the right to blame the entire system for your rejections. I think America is far more meritocratic than international college admissions- where a single standard examination decides where you go to school? </p>
<p>Bottom line: change people, not the college admissions process.</p>
<p>Don't worry about it. Be optimistic for your friends and if they can't help but be jealous, just say, "Eh, I hope I get lucky." That way you maintain you're humility and pride (weird) and defuse any potentially catastrophic situations.</p>
<p>I guess it helps that none of my friends (none of my class for that matter) are applying to the same schools that I am. My friends are kind of "hand offs" of each other's apps and decisions, but they are very supportive. The only tension I've seen is between 2 kids applying to Wake, one of whom is an extreme bitch. But the college admissions process is just bringing that out. The quality was always there.</p>
<p>this actually makes me happy to go to a reg. public. While seniors are stressing like crazy, it's them worried and they're not taking it out on anyone. It's not like it's causing any rifts in friendships, since most people aren't even applying to reach schools</p>
<p>hey this brings up a question I had before and forgot to ask... that girl goes to a prep school in Westchester County, NY, which is where I live. Obviously, her school is uber-competitive and has amazing, crazed students. On the other hand, students in my school are pretty relaxed about their grades. Will I be competing directly against students in my region? Or, will I be competing with students from nearby prep schools and nearby competitive publics?</p>
<p>Good Question, Rachel. I don't know the answer, but I wish I did. There are kids who live in my town who go to prep schools the next town over, and I really hope I'm not competing against them. I guess we're competing against everyone else who applies, but I'd hate to have my chances be lower just because of where I live.</p>