what are my chances of scoring an ok application with this essay

<p>any help would be greatly appreciated</p>

<p>Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you</p>

<pre><code>The more I saw Troy, the more I wanted to breakdown and cry. It became demanding on my spirit because every new encounter inevitably lead to more sorrow and grief. I felt bad for his parents, his little sister Jennifer, but I found it particularly difficult holding back most of my tears whenever I saw his identical twin brother, Jonathan.
Troy told me he had been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called Ewings Sarcoma when I was finishing up my sophomore year in October 2002. I was in a state of utter disbelief as he looked at me with a candid expression; my legs and arms became numb and I couldn’t conjure up a single facial expression, just a blank stare. The first thing that came to mind was, “How could this happen, he’s only seventeen?”

The financial burden Troy’s family was about to undertake was sure to be extravagant. Call me impulsive, but I soon became involved in every single fund that the community had to offer for him and encouraged others to participate, I simply became possessed. The depression from within dwindled from my system and it was replaced by an immense feeling of obligation and motivation. Never before had I been so determined in my efforts to support a cause. I discovered that I had the passion, fervor and intensity which I so much admired others for possessing. Perhaps the greatest gift he gave me was the lifelong relationship I will have with the American Cancer Society.
It may sound cliché, but Troy’s struggle to survive put life in perspective for me. Who cares if you did bad on a test, if you struggled at a sport or if you didn’t have a lot of money, it’s all meaningless unless you have the gift of life. Perspective allows you to sort out the basic problems of life in a more meaningful and comprehensive way.

During my last visit before Troy’s death, he was very content with his situation and even cracked a few jokes. Here he was, near death and as a happy as anything. I cried uncontrollably as I looked at him, and he reassured me that he “just wanted everybody to live happy lives and not harp over his death.” My greatest inspiration derives from seeing him in his fragile state, consoling those around him as if they had been the ones to be struck with fatality.
Three weeks after I last spoke to Troy, his eighteen month battle ended in defeat. All I could remember were his last words to me and I’ll forever have them imprinted into my mind, “Just live happy lives.” It’s actually pretty sad when a person’s greatest impact on you comes upon the face of death...
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<p>This is a powerful essay. To be honest, when I read the first sentence I thought you were going to discuss the terrrible motion picture "Troy" and your essay would have to do with your hatred towards Hollywood cinema or something. However, I read on, and was quite moved. It's funny, because you took a completley seperate approach to the college essay than I did. You are going to make them cry, I will make them laugh (my essay is about a few encounters I've had with police, angry pedestrians and jealous street performers in my 3 years of playing the trombone in the NYC subway system)</p>

<p>did badLY on a test.. not bad..^^</p>

<p>and u dont usually dwindle from something, something dwindles..the depression dwindled.also passion, fervor and intensity are synonyms^_^ lol
also the "its actually pretty sad" kindve detracts from the effect of the essay, maybe just state his impact and they can infer for themselves that it was pretty sad.</p>

<p>brutkowskiny,</p>

<p>About your playing the trombone in the NYC subway system... That is so awesome. I'd actually love to read your essay if/when you're done.</p>

<p>sure, i'll post it......after i get accepted somewhere</p>

<p>sorry, im a jerk like that</p>