What are "smart but lazy" kids supposed to do with their lives?

[oldfort]

<p>I call for anger management.</p>

[Cardinal_Fang]

<p>

People who like to simplistically spout the “just stop being lazy” advice probably will watch this and say “finally, a therapist I can relate with, who doesn’t sit there and coddle these simpering idiots!”

</p>

<p>Here’s the simple problem with therapy like that: it doesn’t work. Pontificating about how you are so superior and the other person needs to stop (being lazy, being depressed, whatever) doesn’t work. It might make you feel good to smugly tell someone else how superior you are and how they would be less inferior if they just were you, but it doesn’t work.</p>

<p>I myself like to go around telling other people that if they would just buck up and be like me, they wouldn’t be so short. Yet somehow I still am surrounded by short people. Fortunately, I am superior to all of them, those midgets.</p>

[Treetopleaf]

<p>OP, read a book on adult ADD - your library will have at least one - and see if you recognize yourself there.</p>

[Cardinal_Fang]

<p>I call for smugness management.</p>

[Deborah_T]

<p>Was the sausage any good?</p>

[bovertine]

<p>

Was the sausage any good?

Sausage is available? All I’m seeing are little weenies.</p>

[oldfort]

<p>

I myself like to go around telling other people that if they would just buck up and be like me, they wouldn’t be so short. Yet somehow I still am surrounded by short people. Fortunately, I am superior to all of them, those midgets

</p>

<p>I am a midget, and I have no issue being a midget. OP, in his own words, feel like he has not lived up to his potential. Some people think he may have ADD, and that´s why he has not been able to finish anything, or had the drive to hold down an everyday job. I don´t know if OP has ADD or any other disability. We only know what OP has posted.</p>

<p>

I generally do what’s expected of me but I work as few hours as management will let me get by with. And if I still feel overloaded, I quit. I can’t count the number of jobs I’ve quit over the years;

</p>

<p>

I just don’t like to walk around and do “chore” type stuff (I’m not physically lazy though when it comes to riding my bike or, especially, playing tennis which is a great passion of mine).

</p>

<p>

I think my nightmare job would be one where I did not have set working hours and was expected to stay late (some nebulous amount of time) and take initiative to seek out and add extra responsibilities oto my portfolio. ::shudder::

</p>

<p>I am not a professional when it comes to LD, but based on what I am reading, OP is just being lazy. I don´t like to go to work everyday doing crap work everyday. I don´t like to write some silly reports which no one would every read. I don´t like to work late and I don´t like to have to travel for work and be away from my family for weeks at a time. Most of all, I hate it when my manager(s) yell at me for no good reason. I don´t think I have any disability just because I feel the same way as OP. The difference is I don´t every remember quiting a job without having another job lined up, but I have been fired and have to be worried sick about how to support my family.</p>

[lisa58]

<p>After several decades in medicine, I can spare Slackerdad the trouble of a workup. There is no neurological, endocrinological or any other -ogical diagnosis to explain why you have energy and enthusiasm for cycling, tennis, etc (and for talking about yourself at great length), but aversive feelings towards boring jobs and cleaning the bathroom.</p>

[sewhappy]

<p>Have been following this fascinating thread for awhile and will now add my own take.</p>

<p>I think there is a place in the world for people like the OP. I think I know some folks like the OP and I like them very much – really smart, insightful, considerate, fun people who haven’t had a lot of success professionally and – let’s face it – in the money-making department. I have a couple of these types in my family tree and these are the ones everyone wants to show up at the reunion.</p>

<p>I hope I don’t offend here, but if you are smart enough to have someone marry you, have kids with you and support you financially and go forward in life raising sweet kids who are also smart (let’s just set the whole achievement dimension aside here) and participate in political movements that help people . . . and pat dogs on the head, then I call you a terrific human being and actually a productive one in the best sense of the word.</p>

<p>We have enough workaholics out there. I think we need more like the OP.</p>

[ellemenope]

<p>

I think my nightmare job would be one where I did not have set working hours and was expected to stay late (some nebulous amount of time) and take initiative to seek out and add extra responsibilities oto my portfolio.

</p>

<p>Sounds like most jobs that pay a decent wage nowadays…which would explain why OP is having a hard time .</p>

<p>

There is no neurological, endocrinological or any other -ogical diagnosis to explain why you have energy and enthusiasm for cycling, tennis, etc (and for talking about yourself at great length), but aversive feelings towards boring jobs and cleaning the bathroom.

</p>

<p>Actually, the gene for adverse feelings toward cleaning the bathroom can be found on both X and Y chromosomes. I know I’ve got that genetic disease. LOL!</p>

[Cardinal_Fang]

<p>Not a materialist, eh, lisa58? I am, and for me, the basis of personality has to be in the physical self because there’s nowhere else for it to be.</p>

[sopranomom92]

<p>Quote from oldfort:
Your kids have health insurance because suckers like us, who get up everyday to do things we don’t always like to do, pay taxes. You need to make a viable contribution to the society in order to make that statement. </p>

<p>Okay, oldfort, please tell us that you are at the perfect weight for your height, do not smoke, drink or eat processed foods. You never speed, always sleep at least 8 hours per day. You get annual checkups, you exercise regularly. You meditate, or go to church, or do something for your spiritual life every week. Because if you do not do all of these things, you are costing me $ in increased health care costs. </p>

<p>OP, you seem to be having a good time with this, and your writing is intelligent and funny. Start your blog, who knows, it might take off? Or not, it does sound like a lot of work…</p>

<p>Your wife is a better person than I am. I admit, it would be tough for me to put up with a husband like that. Let me ask my DH about it…no, I can’t, he’s not at home. He’s putting in the 54th hour of his 65 hour work week. </p>

<p>I do think that many Americans and others are far too concerned with material success. Raising honorable kids, and being honest should count for something. It is tough to find a balance. This really is an interesting discussion.</p>

[poetgrl]

<p>well, I guess you just have to be grateful you were born in a relatively wealthy nation and that people are willing to eventually provide you with health insurance and provide your son with money for an education, should he muster the motivation to want one. I think, given the fact that you are not depressed or having any trouble mustering energy for the things you like to do, that you are fortunate to have found a woman to keep you in the style to which you have become accustomed. Rice and beans and all.</p>

<p>Not my style, but to each his own.</p>

[doughmom]

<p>CF- OP’s “disability,” as I and others read it, is being unable to tolerate being less than fulfilled or bored. Everything he wrote indicates that he has made choices. He thinks he should be paid for pontificating. You or your loved ones may have real disabilities and many people do. But many others are capable of making choices in life, and choose not to work hard and tolerate boredom. I don’t know him (and never will so it doesnt really matter), but to me it seems OP has made a choice and he is unhappy with the outcome. And although I don’t know him I’ve known others (who sound a lot like him) that think that because of their brains and charm they shouldn’t have to put up with what others put up with – that they are somehow better than that. Yuck, is all I can say.</p>

[whatever4]

<p>Actually, my take on the OP is that he has made some choices/done some things that have not worked out too well for him, and he’s trying to figure out how to keep his son, who is a lot like him, from following suit. Is that stating the issue correctly, OP?</p>

[poetgrl]

<p>

While I can truthfully aver that I did begin this post intending for it to be an appeal for advice as to what I might do to help my son avoid the pitfalls I’ve dealt with, I see that it has evolved into something more like a rant. So be it: I’ve vented my spleen, and I’m interested in feedback. If good advice is stirred into the mix, all the better.

</p>

<p>This is the last paragraph from the original post.</p>

<p>What he seems to be saying is he can’t help that he is not interested in grunt work, mental or physical, (who is?), and believes something should be “found” for him to do which he would find “interesting” and clearly also high paying. I would suggest he appeal to the higher authorities for a redo and ask to be born as a Rockefeller. YMMV</p>

[MissouriGal]

<p>With all due respect, CardinalFang, if laziness gets classified as a disability, I think we have reached a state of absurdity.</p>

<p>In all of his posts (unless I missed something), the OP never said anything that would indicate that he has an executive functioning disorder. He stated clearly that he is lazy. I think you can tell the difference between people who try and can’t get it right, and people who aren’t interested in trying.</p>

<p>There’s also a difference between people who aren’t interested in “reaching their full potential” but still meet their responsibilities, and people who expect others to support them in sloth.</p>

[Cardinal_Fang]

<p>So, suppose the OP takes Ritalin, and suddenly discovers, as many adults exactly like him discover, that the blocks keeping him from getting things done disappear. Are we then to conclude that his manifold character flaws, the ones described in loving detail by so many posters, have disappeared? Does it still count as a character flaw if it disappears when you take medicine? What is a character flaw anyway?</p>

<p>The OP may or may not have inattentive ADD. But he sounds and posts exactly like a person with ADD, and his life story is exactly like the story of a person with ADD. So, let’s for the moment hypothesize that he does have ADD. Let’s further hypothesize that he wants to know how to change, or at least he wants to know how he can help his son, who is rather like him, change. If yelling at him and deriding him would make him change, he would already be changed, because if you have a life story like OP’s, you get plenty of yelling and derision. So, maybe it would make sense for other posters to adopt a different strategy, one that has a chance of working. (Of course, I know some posters just want to preen. But perhaps some other posters want to move beyond preening to helpfulness.)</p>

[oldfort]

<p>Sopranomom:

Okay, oldfort, please tell us that you are at the perfect weight for your height, do not smoke, drink or eat processed foods. You never speed, always sleep at least 8 hours per day. You get annual checkups, you exercise regularly. You meditate, or go to church, or do something for your spiritual life every week. Because if you do not do all of these things, you are costing me $ in increased health care costs.

</p>

<p>I don’t understand your statement. How would I cost you any money (are we related)? Are you assuming you are paying more taxes than me? Are you saying you are doing all of things, so you think you may be healthier than me (assuming those things you stated would contribute your health)? Most of all, how is that statement relevant to what we are discussing here? I am confused.</p>

[lake42ks]

<p>

that you are fortunate to have found a woman to keep you in the style to which you have become accustomed.

</p>

<p>OP is a lucky guy, with highly educated/rich/caring parents before and a caring wife now.</p>